Anonymous
Post 12/18/2020 09:39     Subject: Re:How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
Anonymous wrote:Op here. How can my husband help me in this? He doesn’t want to discuss anything and just wants to move on. He shuts me out and ignores my pleas for a discussion.


That unfortunately is a big red flag. I know because I've been there. If he can't be there for you now when you're so vulnerable then ....

If you divorce and even if it gets nasty, a couple of years post divorce, you'll feel better. Seems like a long time away now but that time comes. If you meet the right man and remarry that seems to help too. I didn't but those who have seem very happy.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2020 09:31     Subject: Re:How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Please don’t call it PTSD. That terms is incredibly overused and it minimizes the seriousness of the disorder.


+1. This should be reserved for victims of violence and atrocities. You’re sad, anxious, and depressed. But NOT suffering from PTSD.


+2 Grow a pair and own your decision to stay, or get out. This is not PTSD, this is a lack of resiliency, self-worth, and self-regulation of your emotions.


Really? Is being threatend at knifepoint by a stranger more traumatic than your LOVED ONE intentionally betraying and hurting you??? I don't think either one is a cakewalk, but to have the person you love the most betray you -- that sounds like trauma to me, and I don't doubt that it causes PTSD for some people.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2020 09:25     Subject: How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
Why would anyone be bothered by someone's assessment of whether they have PTSD?

Someone can absolutely have PTSD stemming from cheating. But I believe that it probably would only be from a soul tie. If you've never had it you wouldnt know.
Anonymous
Post 12/18/2020 09:22     Subject: Re:How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity

A trauma, perhaps. But not every trauma causes PTSD. Not every panic attack or depressed thought is PTSD. Again, some of us have been through years of starvation, physical danger, homelessness. I am not trying to minimize that OP is feeling terrible and that she is going through a difficult situation, but let’s not self diagnose and minimize serious disorders.


No one is minimizing other types of trauma. You had to do some mental gymnastics in your own head to reach that conclusion. Just because infidelity can cause PTSD does not in any way have anything to do whatsoever with other traumas caused by other events. It is comparing apples and oranges. If the topic of infidelity induced PTSD causes you distress, perhaps dont click on a discussion thread about infidelity induced PTSD. Its a si.ple matter of self preservation.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 23:55     Subject: Re:How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Please don’t call it PTSD. That terms is incredibly overused and it minimizes the seriousness of the disorder.


It is PTSD

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201709/how-infidelity-causes-post-traumatic-stress-disorder


Seriously, It’s a bit tone deaf to insist that OP has PTSD if she’s never bothered to go to a doctor or therapist about her symptoms. If she is experiencing symptoms then she needs to be evaluated and receive appropriate care.


Please stop encouraging the discussion about PTSD. NP.


Troll level: B-
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 22:44     Subject: Re:How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Please don’t call it PTSD. That terms is incredibly overused and it minimizes the seriousness of the disorder.


It is PTSD

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201709/how-infidelity-causes-post-traumatic-stress-disorder


Seriously, It’s a bit tone deaf to insist that OP has PTSD if she’s never bothered to go to a doctor or therapist about her symptoms. If she is experiencing symptoms then she needs to be evaluated and receive appropriate care.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 22:39     Subject: Re:How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Please don’t call it PTSD. That terms is incredibly overused and it minimizes the seriousness of the disorder.


Studies show the effect is similar - insomnia, invasive thinking, outbursts of anger, depression, emotional numb. Relationships with a spouse go to the core of our security. When one discovers that relationship was a lie and their world was a lie, the revelation is a trauma.


A trauma, perhaps. But not every trauma causes PTSD. Not every panic attack or depressed thought is PTSD. Again, some of us have been through years of starvation, physical danger, homelessness. I am not trying to minimize that OP is feeling terrible and that she is going through a difficult situation, but let’s not self diagnose and minimize serious disorders.


Have been through all four, infidelity is the most painful
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 22:37     Subject: Re:How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
Anonymous wrote:Please don’t call it PTSD. That terms is incredibly overused and it minimizes the seriousness of the disorder.


It is PTSD

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201709/how-infidelity-causes-post-traumatic-stress-disorder
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 22:36     Subject: How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
Anonymous wrote:Look, I'm 13 years out, and I don't regret at all staying to work things out.

For me, it's just time. Doing the time so that it recedes and new memories are built. It still comes back, sometimes, but nothing like that first year. That said, I might cry sometimes, and have a little insomnia, but nothing as intense as you have described.

My husband never once suggested we move past it - he was an open book. However, I also wasn't too intense around him.

It also really helped me to think of CHOOSING a future. I chose to stay with him, and in making that choice, I also had to do the work to make the future brighter. It wasn't easy, but it also wasn't panic attack inducing for me.

So I would suggest individual therapy.


Thank you.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 22:35     Subject: Re:How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
^if you think that is inflammatory, you have some serious issues.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 22:31     Subject: Re:How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
Anonymous wrote:
Why would someone post on dcum and tell women, most likely assault survivors that object to the misuse of the PTSD term that they have issues? Yeah, they probably do have issues with people flippantly self diagnosing and misusing the PTSD term.


Seek help. If reading messages about other people who have experienced trauma upsets you to the point of needing to minimize their experiences, you need to do some self reflection to figure out why that is so important to you. If someone minimized the pain of an assault survivor, that is unfortunate. However, that isn't what is happening here on this discussion thread.

Again... it isn't up for debate that infidelity can cause PTSD in the victims. The medical community accepts that it does, so your opinion does not matter.


Nah. Who are you to tell someone that their opinion doesn’t matter? Your response is deflective to the discussion or we’re talking past each other. I agree that infidelity can cause PTSD in some cases, but that needs to be diagnosed by a medical professional. Does OP deserve some compassion for tough situation? Absolutely. Did OP come onto an anonymous message board and create an inflammatory subject line with insufficient info to back up the claim? Yes. Both things are true.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 21:32     Subject: Re:How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
Why would someone post on dcum and tell women, most likely assault survivors that object to the misuse of the PTSD term that they have issues? Yeah, they probably do have issues with people flippantly self diagnosing and misusing the PTSD term.


Seek help. If reading messages about other people who have experienced trauma upsets you to the point of needing to minimize their experiences, you need to do some self reflection to figure out why that is so important to you. If someone minimized the pain of an assault survivor, that is unfortunate. However, that isn't what is happening here on this discussion thread.

Again... it isn't up for debate that infidelity can cause PTSD in the victims. The medical community accepts that it does, so your opinion does not matter.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 19:33     Subject: How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
Anonymous wrote:It doesn't matter what some of you think. Psychologists recognize that infidelity can cause PTSD. Google it. It is a thing. You can think whatever you want about it, and it won't change the fact that trained medical professionals recognize and treat the trauma of infidelity the same way they do PTSD.

Your opinion on whether or not this is appropriate is about as relevant as my opinion would be regarding whether or not someone needs open heart surgery. What is bizarre is how strongly you feel about this..... that suggests you've got much deeper issues going on that have nothing to do with this conversation.


Np. Your post isn’t even related to OP’s post as she at no point indicated that she’s sought medical attention for her symptoms and therefore was not diagnosed as such. If PPs want to reject OP’s narrative that seems to be centered on self-diagnosis, so be it. however, if you’re judging PPs and making personal attacks because they object to OP false narrative, then perhaps you’re the one with an issue.

Why would someone post on dcum and tell women, most likely assault survivors, that object to the misuse of the PTSD term that they have issues? Yeah, they probably do have issues with people flippantly self diagnosing and misusing the PTSD term.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 18:43     Subject: How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
It doesn't matter what some of you think. Psychologists recognize that infidelity can cause PTSD. Google it. It is a thing. You can think whatever you want about it, and it won't change the fact that trained medical professionals recognize and treat the trauma of infidelity the same way they do PTSD.

Your opinion on whether or not this is appropriate is about as relevant as my opinion would be regarding whether or not someone needs open heart surgery. What is bizarre is how strongly you feel about this..... that suggests you've got much deeper issues going on that have nothing to do with this conversation.
Anonymous
Post 12/17/2020 17:15     Subject: Re:How to deal with ptsd related to infidelity
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Please don’t call it PTSD. That terms is incredibly overused and it minimizes the seriousness of the disorder.


+1. This should be reserved for victims of violence and atrocities. You’re sad, anxious, and depressed. But NOT suffering from PTSD.


+2 Grow a pair and own your decision to stay, or get out. This is not PTSD, this is a lack of resiliency, self-worth, and self-regulation of your emotions.