Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a great case study in not letting problems get too far out of hand. This would have been much much easier to solve a year (or two) ago. I honestly do not know what OP’s options are at this point if she has truly done weeks of naked method with no cheating, especially since her child is potty trained at school.

Parents on this board balk, but there is a reason you train them young when their stubbornness is not so well-developed.

I'm OP, and I agree with this and have said it myself. But until age 2 y.o. DS was going through pretty intense physical therapy. He was also a late walker (associated with the reasons for PT). We started later than we did with DD, though I would say late end of normal, for this reason. As I mentioned in my first post, his last EIP evaluation with an OT said he didn't qualify for further services, but we should watch out for signs of possible sensory issues, which is why I brought it up.

This certainly has been an interesting thread, and I appreciate all of the advice, whether the comments were coupled with compassion or with judgment. The comments about anxiety in particular really resonated with DH and me. I think we might need external intervention, but DH (as I would expect) wants to try on our own first. We've been reminding DS regularly, and when he gets upset at the idea of going, we're pulling him aside and just talking him through and calming him down. It has been helping him actually go. One thing we've already discovered is that, in the past, telling him to go before leaving the house has created fear/anxiety in him. He's worried we will leave without him, so he gets upset, and then he physically can't go...which explains why he sometimes pees as soon as he stands up after ~10 min on the potty. It's clear now that DS is actually really ashamed about this, so I want to keep this positive.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like it's a power struggle situation. The best advice I got was not to care about my kids bathroom habits. I acted completely indifferent. They were big boys and big boys go on the potty. If they had an accident they had to clean it up, put their pants in the wash, and change. I didn't praise, bribe, or punish. There was seriously no pressure. Within days things got much better. There's occasional regressions due to growth spurts or exhaustion, but giving up the potty battle has been a game changer

Anonymous wrote:This is a great case study in not letting problems get too far out of hand. This would have been much much easier to solve a year (or two) ago. I honestly do not know what OP’s options are at this point if she has truly done weeks of naked method with no cheating, especially since her child is potty trained at school.

Parents on this board balk, but there is a reason you train them young when their stubbornness is not so well-developed.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like it's a power struggle situation. The best advice I got was not to care about my kids bathroom habits. I acted completely indifferent. They were big boys and big boys go on the potty. If they had an accident they had to clean it up, put their pants in the wash, and change. I didn't praise, bribe, or punish. There was seriously no pressure. Within days things got much better. There's occasional regressions due to growth spurts or exhaustion, but giving up the potty battle has been a game changer

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a great case study in not letting problems get too far out of hand. This would have been much much easier to solve a year (or two) ago. I honestly do not know what OP’s options are at this point if she has truly done weeks of naked method with no cheating, especially since her child is potty trained at school.

Parents on this board balk, but there is a reason you train them young when their stubbornness is not so well-developed.

Having trained many boys I can tell you this is a normal I'd uncommon variation. The partial training is a good sign and the stubbornness is a good sign. I've seen a few boys like this and they are all successful adults

Anonymous wrote:This is a great case study in not letting problems get too far out of hand. This would have been much much easier to solve a year (or two) ago. I honestly do not know what OP’s options are at this point if she has truly done weeks of naked method with no cheating, especially since her child is potty trained at school.

Parents on this board balk, but there is a reason you train them young when their stubbornness is not so well-developed.

Anonymous wrote:
No pull-up.
He helps clean.
If he resists, mete out immediate consequences.

Anonymous wrote:You should remove the pull-up. He should help to clean any mess he makes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op again.

I understand the judgment and the suggestions to just "not tolerate" this behavior. But as his parent who has successfully potty-trained another kid, I don't think that this is a typical issue with typical solutions. We've tried a lot of things.

Does anyone have experience with sensory or psychological issues that might be related to potty training? Because that's really what this seems like to me.

Are we reading the same thread? No one is telling you not to tolerate it. We're all telling you to get rid of the pull ups and deal with the consequences for as long as it takes.

Frankly, I feel sorry for your child that you don't have the faith in him that he is capable of this and that you've relied on status-quo pull ups for so long. I also feel bad for what you're doing to the environment, thats almost 3 years longer than my children wore diapers. And really, stop calling it a pull up, it's just a diaper. That's what it feels like to.your son, there's no difference. Put less of your energy into labeling him with "sensory issues" and just potty train your almost 5 year old.

I have to ask the same question of you...because, as I've stated, we *have* done no pull-ups (except at night) and also no pants at all. Exactly how many weeks and months would you be willing to go with multiple accidents a day and no real progress? How much laundry are you willing to do? Even his school is not recommending this approach.

We may try it again, but I'm also looking for suggestions we haven't already tried. The only new thing is to take everything away at night as well, and try an alarm. We can try that, though he's usually dry in the morning. He just won't go to the potty when he wakes up. This kid has literally sat on the potty for 10 minutes insisting he doesn't need to go, and then peed as soon as he stood up.

Put him in a warm shower first thing in the morning,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My successful neurotypucal child wasn't trained until 5. He wore pullups until almost 6. He's doing great today.

It's uncommon, but more often happens in boys than girls. Dont stress it. He'll be there by 6.

during the day? This is crazy talk. Nighttime is a different matter so if you are talking about nighttime then forget I said anything........

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op again.

I understand the judgment and the suggestions to just "not tolerate" this behavior. But as his parent who has successfully potty-trained another kid, I don't think that this is a typical issue with typical solutions. We've tried a lot of things.

Does anyone have experience with sensory or psychological issues that might be related to potty training? Because that's really what this seems like to me.

Are we reading the same thread? No one is telling you not to tolerate it. We're all telling you to get rid of the pull ups and deal with the consequences for as long as it takes.

Frankly, I feel sorry for your child that you don't have the faith in him that he is capable of this and that you've relied on status-quo pull ups for so long. I also feel bad for what you're doing to the environment, thats almost 3 years longer than my children wore diapers. And really, stop calling it a pull up, it's just a diaper. That's what it feels like to.your son, there's no difference. Put less of your energy into labeling him with "sensory issues" and just potty train your almost 5 year old.

I have to ask the same question of you...because, as I've stated, we *have* done no pull-ups (except at night) and also no pants at all. Exactly how many weeks and months would you be willing to go with multiple accidents a day and no real progress? How much laundry are you willing to do? Even his school is not recommending this approach.

We may try it again, but I'm also looking for suggestions we haven't already tried. The only new thing is to take everything away at night as well, and try an alarm. We can try that, though he's usually dry in the morning. He just won't go to the potty when he wakes up. This kid has literally sat on the potty for 10 minutes insisting he doesn't need to go, and then peed as soon as he stood up.