Anonymous wrote:Despite what TV shows display, most people don't drink alcohol every day or even more than once per week. It's also not healthy, though if you really feel you're not becoming dependent, I imagine doing this for a limited period of time is probably not going to reduce your lifespan much.

https://www.vox.com/2018/4/24/17242720/alcohol-health-risks-facts

Every person in my orbit- friends and family- drinks every day. Again, a lot of this has to do with how you were raised. Alcohol consumption is actually highest in the well educated, upper income population in the US.

https://news.gallup.com/poll/184358/drinking-highest-among-educated-upper-income-americans.aspx

Despite what TV shows display, most people don't drink alcohol every day or even more than once per week. It's also not healthy, though if you really feel you're not becoming dependent, I imagine doing this for a limited period of time is probably not going to reduce your lifespan much.

https://www.vox.com/2018/4/24/17242720/alcohol-health-risks-facts

I mean I'll also ask how big those glasses of wine are. I've seen a "glass" of wine that's really 2-3 servings.

It's also how "two beers" can be very different if you're drinking a pilsner or a double IPA.

Anonymous wrote:NP here. OP, you're fine. 1-2 glasses a night after the kids go to bed is not excess. Periodically check in with yourself to ask, "could I stop this?" and even take breaks if you're concerned that it's a minor dependency. But realistically, it's an amount that just isn't a problem.

Anyone saying it is a problem is privileged to have never dealt with real alcoholics and lucky to have not lived through what real dependency is like.

I just said it was up to OP to decide whether it's a problem for them but I also wanted to comment on this offensive statement. I have dealt with real alcoholics and they come in all kinds and with different patterns of dependency. Some people take to alcoholism like getting hit by a train. Others do it gradually and you don't notice because they're good at keeping secrets. The issue isn't the amount of alcohol but the pattern of use and whether it grows. Glad to see that OP is reflecting on this. Hopefully OP doesn't have a problem.

I’m surprised by all the negative notes here! If you’re worried about it, that should be a flag. But on its face I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Last night I cooked a goood meal with two glasses of port to unwind. We’re in crazy times and it’s HARD to unwind. But I’m not worried about myself - so perhaps that’s the key question for you.

Could be normal or not. One thing to consider is whether you have any close family members who are addicts. That makes it more likely that you have a genetic predisposition towards addiction.

The other thing I think about is whether this would be a good idea if you are, say, having one or two muffins or cupcakes every night. Sure it's fine for one night, even a week, maybe wouldn't cause too much damage for a month but day in, day out? That's a lot of bad calories for your body to absorb. That's something to consider as well.

As to whether this is a big problem for you, you have to be the judge of that. Doesn't sound like a lot to me but having grown up with active alcoholics, I know that a little every day can slowly creep into a dependency, so it's good to be self aware.

I just want to say that that's how my alcoholism started. 1-2 drinks maybe 3 nights a week. And then it was daily. I started getting really grumpy around my family, wanting them to go to bed so I could relax with a drink. It was like I wasn't even enjoying my present. I kept trying to cut back to just Friday and Saturday but it was HARD.

Weirdly enough, I'm pregnant now and haven't had a drink since. I don't think about it. So maybe I just needed more motivation? Once I give birth I will never again drink outside of Friday/Saturday or the occasional happy hour with friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. OP, you're fine. 1-2 glasses a night after the kids go to bed is not excess. Periodically check in with yourself to ask, "could I stop this?" and even take breaks if you're concerned that it's a minor dependency. But realistically, it's an amount that just isn't a problem.

Anyone saying it is a problem is privileged to have never dealt with real alcoholics and lucky to have not lived through what real dependency is like.

Ha, thank you for this framing. We are living through pandemic with a tea totaler relative. They make me feel like Im a real booze hound if I want to drink 1-2 beers 1 x per week. Just one time per week and max 2 drinks bc my kid wakes up at 6 am every morning. You have reminded me that they are ridiculous not me.

www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/09/25/think-you-drink-a-lot-this-chart-will-tell-you/%3foutputType=amp

WaPo ran this chart of alcohol consumption by quintile. You are fine.

I wonder how this differs by age bc its a close mirror of my drinking behavior over time.
College/early 20s: top decile, I had 7-10 drinks 5-6 x per week.
Late 20s: 9th decile, 5 drinks 3 x per week
Early 30: 8th decile, 3 drinks 2 x per week (weekends)
Now that the kids are here: 7th decile, 2 drinks per week

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. OP, you're fine. 1-2 glasses a night after the kids go to bed is not excess. Periodically check in with yourself to ask, "could I stop this?" and even take breaks if you're concerned that it's a minor dependency. But realistically, it's an amount that just isn't a problem.

Anyone saying it is a problem is privileged to have never dealt with real alcoholics and lucky to have not lived through what real dependency is like.

Spoken like an alcoholic.

Yep, alcoholics are definitely famous for saying, "I have one or two drinks on average, and I'm able to stop altogether and take breaks whenever I want." You've totally nailed the clinical definition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. OP, you're fine. 1-2 glasses a night after the kids go to bed is not excess. Periodically check in with yourself to ask, "could I stop this?" and even take breaks if you're concerned that it's a minor dependency. But realistically, it's an amount that just isn't a problem.

Anyone saying it is a problem is privileged to have never dealt with real alcoholics and lucky to have not lived through what real dependency is like.

Ha, thank you for this framing. We are living through pandemic with a tea totaler relative. They make me feel like Im a real booze hound if I want to drink 1-2 beers 1 x per week. Just one time per week and max 2 drinks bc my kid wakes up at 6 am every morning. You have reminded me that they are ridiculous not me.

www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/09/25/think-you-drink-a-lot-this-chart-will-tell-you/%3foutputType=amp

WaPo ran this chart of alcohol consumption by quintile. You are fine.

I love that chart because it shows both the real variation (to 30% of adults, one drink per week seems like a lot!) but also how many drinks real alcoholics have (an average of ten drinks per DAY!). So if you have an average of 1.5-2 drinks a day, sure, you're above most adults, but nowhere even close to the most problematic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. OP, you're fine. 1-2 glasses a night after the kids go to bed is not excess. Periodically check in with yourself to ask, "could I stop this?" and even take breaks if you're concerned that it's a minor dependency. But realistically, it's an amount that just isn't a problem.

Anyone saying it is a problem is privileged to have never dealt with real alcoholics and lucky to have not lived through what real dependency is like.

Ha, thank you for this framing. We are living through pandemic with a tea totaler relative. They make me feel like Im a real booze hound if I want to drink 1-2 beers 1 x per week. Just one time per week and max 2 drinks bc my kid wakes up at 6 am every morning. You have reminded me that they are ridiculous not me.

www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/09/25/think-you-drink-a-lot-this-chart-will-tell-you/%3foutputType=amp

WaPo ran this chart of alcohol consumption by quintile. You are fine.

Anonymous wrote:NP here. OP, you're fine. 1-2 glasses a night after the kids go to bed is not excess. Periodically check in with yourself to ask, "could I stop this?" and even take breaks if you're concerned that it's a minor dependency. But realistically, it's an amount that just isn't a problem.

Anyone saying it is a problem is privileged to have never dealt with real alcoholics and lucky to have not lived through what real dependency is like.

Ha, thank you for this framing. We are living through pandemic with a tea totaler relative. They make me feel like Im a real booze hound if I want to drink 1-2 beers 1 x per week. Just one time per week and max 2 drinks bc my kid wakes up at 6 am every morning. You have reminded me that they are ridiculous not me.

I stopped because it was hard for me not to have that glass and a half. Really hard. I felt I needed it to be able to diffuse everything going on, to be able to take the edge off.

I cut down to only on Friday and Saturday nights. I had a hard time with that, so I stopped altogether.

I am not saying I won’t go back, and I certainly expect to have some here and there, but I realized that... that I need to get used to living in the reality of things and knowing I can cope with the THIS that is going on, and finding real solutions when things really are too much.

I bought special sodas for a while to have that ritual, then just water and lime. I am happy to give my organs a break for a bit. I also have a sleep tracker and I get more deep sleep after cutting out my evening drink.

Anonymous wrote:Just be careful of habit forming. My mother started this way when I was young and it slid into full blown alcoholism which eventually killed her. She told me it all started innocently enough because she liked having a drink while watching tv to relax at night. And then got beyond her control.

+1 I have 2 friends who developed a very serious problem by their late 40's. Started the same way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. OP, you're fine. 1-2 glasses a night after the kids go to bed is not excess. Periodically check in with yourself to ask, "could I stop this?" and even take breaks if you're concerned that it's a minor dependency. But realistically, it's an amount that just isn't a problem.

Anyone saying it is a problem is privileged to have never dealt with real alcoholics and lucky to have not lived through what real dependency is like.

Spoken like an alcoholic.

That’s what a narcissist would say.