My HS boyfriend was like this to an extent. He was the youngest, 2 older sisters, older parents who were kind of checked out and pushed him to grow up fast in a lot of ways. He got an old beater car as soon as he turned 16. Held down jobs since 14. Family didn’t push him toward college like they did with his sisters so he did vocational track in HS for auto body. Then since grades/college weren’t the goal, he became kind of a pothead, hanging out with an older crowd of people he met at work, and started just putting in the bare minimum to graduate and get out on his own. He was completely moved out and working full time by 19. Kind of an “old soul” in a lot of ways. He really was a good kid, but his parents seriously could not wait to be rid of him and it always made me sad to see their interactions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please give me a medal for reading all the responses so I could understand what a "fast" kid is.

Between their usage of the words “fast” and “mature” I feel like OP must be older. It sounds so retro.

How old are you that you don’t know what fast means in this context or you think it sounds retro?

I’m 37. I knew what it meant without reading the comments. . Still sounds retro.

It does sound a little retro but I think it’s also the right word for the context.

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8 y/o and a 2 y/o and this thread scares the hell out of me. 😳

Don’t be. Just do your best, enforce good boundaries but don’t try to get them to become someone they aren’t, maintain a good relationship. If you’re a present parent, odds are very good that tour kids will turn out just fine, even if they have a horrifying phase like this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please give me a medal for reading all the responses so I could understand what a "fast" kid is.

Between their usage of the words “fast” and “mature” I feel like OP must be older. It sounds so retro.

How old are you that you don’t know what fast means in this context or you think it sounds retro?

I’m 37. I knew what it meant without reading the comments. . Still sounds retro.

I have an 8 y/o and a 2 y/o and this thread scares the hell out of me. 😳

My child is 8. Peers parents talk how their child likes to look older by having metal braces, etc. That child is an angel, according to the parents. However the child is wild already. Tall for her age and has made being cool a priority.

Anonymous wrote:Personality. I was supervised as a teen and whatnot, so I was a good girl. However, I turned 18 and my ass belonged to the streets at that point. If it’s in you, it will come out, be it a teenager or later in life. Personality!

+1. My parents thought I was a 'good girl' in high school so they gave me a lot of independence. I had straight As, was active in church, was active in after school activities etc. They were focused on my older sibling who was having issues at college and my baby sister and thought they didn't need to monitor me as closely. I got up to a lot of trouble but never got caught.

Anonymous wrote:We have lived abroad for many years- Asia, South Pacific, Australia- DC is an only and has done very well making friends, being outgoing, and well, has a lot of worldly experience. Now that we are settled in a small town USA, DC always goes For older kids for friends, people who are more fun, have more going on, have cars, autonomy, etc DC has a pretty high standard for what is interesting and exciting- pretty tough to follow up getting toured around a night market by a bevy of Thai ladY boys, or learning to surf among the sharks of Australia, or Sipping kava while rebuilding Cyclone-struck villages.

DC is also tall and gorgeous and confident which opens doors and gets a certain amount of favor among other kids parents.

We have lived abroad for many years- Asia, South Pacific, Australia- DC is an only and has done very well making friends, being outgoing, and well, has a lot of worldly experience. Now that we are settled in a small town USA, DC always goes For older kids for friends, people who are more fun, have more going on, have cars, autonomy, etc DC has a pretty high standard for what is interesting and exciting- pretty tough to follow up getting toured around a night market by a bevy of Thai ladY boys, or learning to surf among the sharks of Australia, or Sipping kava while rebuilding Cyclone-struck villages.

DC is also tall and gorgeous and confident which opens doors and gets a certain amount of favor among other kids parents.

Read up on the research on redshirting

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm talking about kids who date young, who seem super mature, experiment with drinking early and so forth.

Oh this should be interesting. Ones I have seen have had some sort of trauma - one that seems to have the most impact is mother died young. Also just being the youngest child will sometimes do it

Or just having busy parents who don't know what's really going on.

You don’t need busy parents. My mom was a SAHM and my dad retired snd they had no clue what was going on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm talking about kids who date young, who seem super mature, experiment with drinking early and so forth.

Oh this should be interesting. Ones I have seen have had some sort of trauma - one that seems to have the most impact is mother died young. Also just being the youngest child will sometimes do it

Or just having busy parents who don't know what's really going on.

Older siblings

I had a woman stand up in sons Kindergarden orientation and say, I’m sorry for everything my child teaches your child.

It was funny actually, my son came home snd told me the girl from HS musical took pictures naked. I knew exactly who told him.

Also, I was the youngest of 8. I was “fast”. My parents were also lax but mostly because they didn’t sweat the small stuff.

I was not anxious, I was a little impulsive and I am/was not afraid of “failure”. I saw year after year after year... people make mistakes and recover, it’s part of life. I really was not afraid to try anything, within reason.

I was definitely that girl in college that didn’t go wild because of the whole BTDT. I saw 20 year olds making mistakes I made at 15.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP is using the word "mature" but doesn't mean that. I think OP means wild.

OP, the wild kids are the ones who think dressing older and drinking and partying MAKES them mature.

My daughter didn't drink until her junior year of college, but as a sophomore in high school took mass transit with a friend into NYC for a long weekend and they ran around going to all the museums and two Broadway plays. The girls wouldn't have been allowed to do that if they weren't mature enough to be street smart and make good decisions.

You only know what she tells you. I didn’t drink until college too

Ugh, I hate the attitude that every teenager is desperate to drink and have sex. That's really not the case.

It’s almost as bad as the attitude that a parent knows that they’re kid doesn’t do bad stuff because the kid tells them everything or the parent just KNOWS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please give me a medal for reading all the responses so I could understand what a "fast" kid is.

Between their usage of the words “fast” and “mature” I feel like OP must be older. It sounds so retro.

How old are you that you don’t know what fast means in this context or you think it sounds retro?