Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

Then her child is ahead of me!

Both my parents made a lot of money and refused to help me. I was totally F*cked with the FAFSA. My expected family contribution was 50K over 20 years ago and my parents paid zero towards college.

This system is unfair for a lot of people. OP’s child is still ahead of kids like me with well off married parents who contributed nothing to my college education. I’m sorry you’re not going to get special treatment because you’re divorced.

Get over it and go see a therapist for your unresolved anger and mommy/daddy issues

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

Then her child is ahead of me!

Both my parents made a lot of money and refused to help me. I was totally F*cked with the FAFSA. My expected family contribution was 50K over 20 years ago and my parents paid zero towards college.

This system is unfair for a lot of people. OP’s child is still ahead of kids like me with well off married parents who contributed nothing to my college education. I’m sorry you’re not going to get special treatment because you’re divorced.

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

Anonymous wrote:Whoever is saying child support is college help you are incorrect. That is the calculated child support based on pre college expenses. If college is added to only the mothers expenses child support would modify to reflect that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, the schools he is most interested in require it. Sigh. I called one school to plead our case and waiting for a call back. So frustrating because its not like he is going to pay a dime so why is his information required under these circumstances. Just sucks that dc won't be considered for any financial assistance if his father refuses to complete the form.

I'm sympathetic to you on a personal level, but on a systemic level, I don't think it is fair to treat divorced parents differently from married parents. I mean, my husband would prefer to just say "I opt out of paying for college and don't hold it against my kid" too because he is the higher earner in our relationship and our EFC would look a lot lower without his income.