Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop normalizing obesity as "curviness"

This. A 2 or a 4 isn’t even skinny. I’m a size 4 and could easily lose 30 lbs

Don’t tell the OP that. Apparently it’s disordered to want to be a size 4. Americans are fat and we all have to like it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you're 135 pounds and you are in good health, then tell people to MYOB.

If you're 200 lbs and not in good health, tell them the same thing! It's no one else's business. At work, this sounds potentially like a bullying thing as much as a food thing. Don't discuss food and don't let them get any kind of response out of you. Make them trying to discuss food with you as boring as possible. Respond with silence, shrugs, "I guess/okay/huh." Nothing more.

+2

I find it really hard to believe multiple women at OPs work are commenting on her food. No one would care that much even if OP eats like a pig from a trough. What is more likely is that maybe OP thinks they stare or give eachother looks or maybe nothing happens at all- but OP assumes this is the dialogue in their heads or behind her back because they are "skinny" and eat differently than her.

Anonymous wrote:I am also a thin woman who has gotten lots of negative comments about my eating over the years. I am naturally thin and have never dieted. I do try to "eat healthy" in that I make sure I'm eating a balanced diet, including lots of green things. But if I want a burger and fries, I eat them. I don't think of any foods a "bad" and never calorie restrict.

People have been sold a lot of unhealthy ideas about eating. They believe that thinness is something that must be earned (it's not, I am thin and don't do anything to earn it). And that leads to the belief that people who diet and exercise are somehow morally superior to those that don't. And they think people who are heavier must be "bad" in some way, thus all the attitudes about fat people being lazy or undisciplined. All of these are just stories though, sold by the diet industry or perpetuated by women's fashion and then reiterated in families and peer groups.

So when people comment on my eating, I just remind myself that it comes from a place of shame because they have been taught a false narrative. I challenge that narrative because my eating is "bad" but my body is "good" (again, I don't think this, but it's what people are conditioned to think). So they lash out at me because they have structured their lives, their self-perception, their eating, and their morality around ideas that my eating and body prove to be false. That feels bad to them, so they push those negative feelings onto me.

It sucks, but at least I know it's not really about me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

... and had that been the point of the OP, most people would agree. To me she sounded just as disordered and delusional as the fad dieters.

I am the OP and this is indeed my point. I don’t have disordered eating issues. I eat relatively healthy while also indulging in foods that taste good to me and not worrying a lot about it. I am active and feel good, so I don’t view those indulgences as an issue. I am tired of judgmental comments from my sister, my mom, and a large group of colleagues, all of whom feel comfortable telling me how “bad” my diet is and will make comments about my “weird” food or accuse me of binging because I ate dessert. I feel incessantly judged for my eating habits, specifically because I’m not on some permanent restrictive diet, and a lot of the women in my life are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, people have different body shapes. However, "overweight/obese" is not a body shape, it is a medical aliment.

Skinny does not mean healthy, of course. But being overweight is ALWAYS unhealthy. There is no way to spin it. The health consequences of excess weight can be delayed or gradual, but they will eventually catch up with you.

Being underweight is also ALWAYS unhealthy. But a lot of people are totally fine with others being underweight but freak out if they decide someone is overweight (and it doesn't sound like OP is talking about people with obvious weight issues -- she's talking about average weight women).

The "average" weight woman is way overweight. Average size in the US is a 16/18. That is terrible and unhealthy. OP isn't talking about women that are clinically underweight- she is talking about women who are a size 2-4, which is what she stated. That is not underweight, just a lot thinner than OP is sounds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: stop treating body image issues, skewed perceptions of beauty and acceptance, and health concerns like they are exclusively "women's troubles."

There's my PSA for *you.*

-loving sister of an anorexic brother in recovery

I am just speaking to my experience as a woman. I'm sure men have issues with these things, but I've never had a man try to shame me over food or weight. That's why I directed my comment at women -- because I am speaking specifically to the phenomenon of women infecting each other with these attitudes.

I am sorry to hear about your brother and wish him a healthy and strong recovery.

While I appreciate that, I hope you can educate yourself. When men and boys are made to feel like horrible things like anorexia, race and incest, and domestic abuse only happen to women, they feel like they can't speak up and ask for help. Your attitude here is a major part of a very real problem. I hope you will reflect on that and DO BETTER with how you speak and advocate in the future.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop normalizing obesity as "curviness"

This. A 2 or a 4 isn’t even skinny. I’m a size 4 and could easily lose 30 lbs

Anonymous wrote:Stop normalizing obesity as "curviness"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people can only want to lose weight if it’s “affecting their heart health, causing joint problems, or limiting their mobility and ability to live active lives.”? So people can only try to lose weight when you approve of it? This is weird.

People can do what they want with their own bodies. But passing off your restrictive fad diet as “eating healthy” and criticizing others who don’t have your same disordered eating patterns (or don’t exercise obsessively or take stimulants) is obnoxious.

... and had that been the point of the OP, most people would agree. To me she sounded just as disordered and delusional as the fad dieters.

I am the OP and this is indeed my point. I don’t have disordered eating issues. I eat relatively healthy while also indulging in foods that taste good to me and not worrying a lot about it. I am active and feel good, so I don’t view those indulgences as an issue. I am tired of judgmental comments from my sister, my mom, and a large group of colleagues, all of whom feel comfortable telling me how “bad” my diet is and will make comments about my “weird” food or accuse me of binging because I ate dessert. I feel incessantly judged for my eating habits, specifically because I’m not on some permanent restrictive diet, and a lot of the women in my life are.