Anonymous
10/28/2020 06:52
Subject: Re:How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Having one parent with a higher income and the other one stay home actually provides a lot of tax advantages, and you pay no costs in childcare.
Example:
My brother makes around $120k. His wife stays home and they live in the Midwest and have 4 kids. They got a huge stimulus check and pay very, very little in taxes.
In contrast:
My Dh makes $100 and I make around $110. We have childcare costs of $30k/year. We didn’t get stimulus check. We pay through the roof on taxes.
You didn’t even mention how his wife will receive Social Security payments based on his earnings without having to work/contribute — he gets SS based on his earnings and she simultaneously gets additional SS that is 50% of his (assuming their ages are the same). Assuming he has 35 years of maximum contributions, her benefits alone will be worth $750K-$1MM.
Btw, this means that second-earner spouses get a very poor return on the huge SS payroll taxes they and their employers pay. This is considered fair by the architects of SS because SAH parenting is viewed as extremely valuable work that deserves a reward, and because it’s a form of welfare (an elderly couple have higher expenses than a single elderly person).
After one spouse dies, the payments are lowered, down to whichever is higher of the spouse’s.
Anonymous
10/28/2020 06:42
Subject: Re:How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Anonymous wrote:Having one parent with a higher income and the other one stay home actually provides a lot of tax advantages, and you pay no costs in childcare.
Example:
My brother makes around $120k. His wife stays home and they live in the Midwest and have 4 kids. They got a huge stimulus check and pay very, very little in taxes.
In contrast:
My Dh makes $100 and I make around $110. We have childcare costs of $30k/year. We didn’t get stimulus check. We pay through the roof on taxes.
You didn’t even mention how his wife will receive Social Security payments based on his earnings without having to work/contribute — he gets SS based on his earnings and she simultaneously gets additional SS that is 50% of his (assuming their ages are the same). Assuming he has 35 years of maximum contributions, her benefits alone will be worth $750K-$1MM.
Anonymous
10/28/2020 01:31
Subject: How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:3 kids is nothing....
My mother’s neighbor were up to five or six when they hit 40 and now have ten total. Wife is a SAHM and husband is an engineer so probably makes no more than$300k
Here’s how they do it:
1. No $ towards college for any of them.
2. Hand me downs.
3. Not sure that the kids do a ton of outside activities besides church stuff
4. Went to some private Christian school on financial aid
5. Live in Howard county instead of someplace closer in.
I wouldn’t say that there kids seem happy per se but they definitely are well adjusted and kind. Certainly not my vision of raising kids but seems to work for them. I will say though there is no way this would have worked if any of their children had any sort of SN.
If they are making $300K, even $200K there is no excuse not to save even for community college or two years.
What an asinine thing to say. You have no idea what expenses they have.
No, its not. They get handy downs, they don't do activities outside of church and at private school. They can afford it.
Anonymous
10/27/2020 21:41
Subject: Re:How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Anonymous wrote:Having one parent with a higher income and the other one stay home actually provides a lot of tax advantages, and you pay no costs in childcare.
Example:
My brother makes around $120k. His wife stays home and they live in the Midwest and have 4 kids. They got a huge stimulus check and pay very, very little in taxes.
In contrast:
My Dh makes $100 and I make around $110. We have childcare costs of $30k/year. We didn’t get stimulus check. We pay through the roof on taxes.
this holds true when kids are small, but then there are other issues (retirement savings, college savings, difficulty re-entering the workforce for the mom), plus if the bread winner loses his job, it's one big dudu.
In this area housing is expensive, so to the original OP question: they live out in the boonies and don't have a lot of savings for retirement, college or emergency.
Anonymous
10/27/2020 19:06
Subject: Re:How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Having one parent with a higher income and the other one stay home actually provides a lot of tax advantages, and you pay no costs in childcare.
Example:
My brother makes around $120k. His wife stays home and they live in the Midwest and have 4 kids. They got a huge stimulus check and pay very, very little in taxes.
In contrast:
My Dh makes $100 and I make around $110. We have childcare costs of $30k/year. We didn’t get stimulus check. We pay through the roof on taxes.
Example:
My brother makes around $120k. His wife stays home and they live in the Midwest and have 4 kids. They got a huge stimulus check and pay very, very little in taxes.
In contrast:
My Dh makes $100 and I make around $110. We have childcare costs of $30k/year. We didn’t get stimulus check. We pay through the roof on taxes.
Anonymous
10/27/2020 17:28
Subject: Re:How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Anonymous wrote:My HHI is $90k between my husband and I, two children. We both are teachers so knew we would never be making tons of $$$. Yes we live in D.C., no we don't have an uppababy or fancy things for ourselves, but in no way would I want to be 40 to have my first child.
Except if you are brand new teachers or working at a private, your income for two teachers makes no sense.
Anonymous
10/27/2020 17:24
Subject: How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We make $700k a year with two big jobs. I’m pregnant with our third (at 35) and it’s gonna be a stretch.
Do these kids wear Chanel and Gucci?
Those night nannies and vacation homes really add up. It's so hard to get ahead these days.
They go to $20k/yr private school. Never hired a night nanny and not big on vacations.
It baffles me that you can make 700k a year and not be able to live super comfortably, no matter how many kids. Absolutely ridiculous.
Anonymous
10/27/2020 16:54
Subject: How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We make $700k a year with two big jobs. I’m pregnant with our third (at 35) and it’s gonna be a stretch.
Do these kids wear Chanel and Gucci?
Those night nannies and vacation homes really add up. It's so hard to get ahead these days.
They go to $20k/yr private school. Never hired a night nanny and not big on vacations.
Anonymous
10/27/2020 16:52
Subject: How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:We make $700k a year with two big jobs. I’m pregnant with our third (at 35) and it’s gonna be a stretch.
Do these kids wear Chanel and Gucci?
Those night nannies and vacation homes really add up. It's so hard to get ahead these days.
Anonymous
10/27/2020 16:48
Subject: How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Anonymous wrote:We make $700k a year with two big jobs. I’m pregnant with our third (at 35) and it’s gonna be a stretch.
Do these kids wear Chanel and Gucci?
Anonymous
10/27/2020 16:47
Subject: Re:How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Anonymous wrote:Your standards are higher than others’. If you live in a crappy condo and send your kids to the overcrowded public schools like many on this thread, you could afford 3 kids in your 30’s on a measly 200-300k. One poster said they save “a bunch” with 3 kids and 180k hhi. Lol what is a bunch? To you, that may be 300k/yr or more, but it might be only 50-100k for this poster. If you were willing to compromise much of your lifestyle to have kids, you could and would have.
OP clearly can't budget or has significant amount of debt. What tacky things are you buying/doing when you can't afford your lifestyle on 200-300k for 3 children? Give me a break.
Anonymous
10/27/2020 16:44
Subject: Re:How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
My HHI is $90k between my husband and I, two children. We both are teachers so knew we would never be making tons of $$$. Yes we live in D.C., no we don't have an uppababy or fancy things for ourselves, but in no way would I want to be 40 to have my first child.
Anonymous
10/27/2020 16:40
Subject: Re:How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
29 here, 1 baby, from a very middle class family. I received a computer science degree and became a software developer. I was making well over $100k by 25. Not everyone is from money. We have a high HHI now but having a child with lower income is completely doable, the idea of waiting till your 40, are you joking? What type of spending, debt, bad habits did you have for 10-15 years? Many of my friends have children on MUCH lower income levels.
Anonymous
10/27/2020 16:36
Subject: How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:3 kids is nothing....
My mother’s neighbor were up to five or six when they hit 40 and now have ten total. Wife is a SAHM and husband is an engineer so probably makes no more than$300k
Here’s how they do it:
1. No $ towards college for any of them.
2. Hand me downs.
3. Not sure that the kids do a ton of outside activities besides church stuff
4. Went to some private Christian school on financial aid
5. Live in Howard county instead of someplace closer in.
I wouldn’t say that there kids seem happy per se but they definitely are well adjusted and kind. Certainly not my vision of raising kids but seems to work for them. I will say though there is no way this would have worked if any of their children had any sort of SN.
If they are making $300K, even $200K there is no excuse not to save even for community college or two years.
What an asinine thing to say. You have no idea what expenses they have.
Anonymous
10/27/2020 16:35
Subject: How do people in their 30s afford 3 kids?
Anonymous wrote:3 kids is nothing....
My mother’s neighbor were up to five or six when they hit 40 and now have ten total. Wife is a SAHM and husband is an engineer so probably makes no more than$300k
Here’s how they do it:
1. No $ towards college for any of them.
2. Hand me downs.
3. Not sure that the kids do a ton of outside activities besides church stuff
4. Went to some private Christian school on financial aid
5. Live in Howard county instead of someplace closer in.
I wouldn’t say that there kids seem happy per se but they definitely are well adjusted and kind. Certainly not my vision of raising kids but seems to work for them. I will say though there is no way this would have worked if any of their children had any sort of SN.
If they are making $300K, even $200K there is no excuse not to save even for community college or two years.