Anonymous wrote:Can you imagine what it would be like being the second kid who was born because your first kid wanted a playmate?

The analogy with getting married is fundamentally flawed. A marriage is centered on a relationship between the two parties. The siblings here have made no commitment to each other, didn’t choose each other, and may or may not be even vaguely compatible.

A second kid is not a toy for the first kid. A second child should be born only because the parents want to parent two children.

My parents always said I was an accident. I think I can imagine. My parents should have stopped at one.

Can you imagine what it would be like being the second kid who was born because your first kid wanted a playmate?

The analogy with getting married is fundamentally flawed. A marriage is centered on a relationship between the two parties. The siblings here have made no commitment to each other, didn’t choose each other, and may or may not be even vaguely compatible.

A second kid is not a toy for the first kid. A second child should be born only because the parents want to parent two children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling.

My sibling is far from a gift. A person is not a gift. Its for the parents, not other child.

I wouldn’t say my sibling is a gift...but she is a major blessing in my life.

And that’s great for you, but I hate it when people say this. My uncle has narcissistic personality disorder and has destroyed every relationship he’s ever had. He’s left a trail of emotional abuse in his wake.

Not every sibling is a gift because not every person is good.

Yeah I know not every sibling is a gift...just like not every husband or wife is a gift. Some spouses abuse you, some cheat on you, etc but others can be great, right? Life is a bit of a crapshoot.

Right. That’s why it’s a terrible idea to have a second kid solely in order to give the first kid a sibling.

]

That's like saying it's a terrible idea to get married in order to give yourself a partner if life, if half of them end up in divorce anyway.
I agree with pp- a lot of life is based on luck, you either choose to take a chance hoping things will end up well, or you don't.
There is no 'better' choice.

No that’s not analogous. You should have a second kid because you want a second kid, not solely so that kid can serve a purpose for your other kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling.

My sibling is far from a gift. A person is not a gift. Its for the parents, not other child.

I wouldn’t say my sibling is a gift...but she is a major blessing in my life.

And that’s great for you, but I hate it when people say this. My uncle has narcissistic personality disorder and has destroyed every relationship he’s ever had. He’s left a trail of emotional abuse in his wake.

Not every sibling is a gift because not every person is good.

Yeah I know not every sibling is a gift...just like not every husband or wife is a gift. Some spouses abuse you, some cheat on you, etc but others can be great, right? Life is a bit of a crapshoot.

Right. That’s why it’s a terrible idea to have a second kid solely in order to give the first kid a sibling.

]

That's like saying it's a terrible idea to get married in order to give yourself a partner if life, if half of them end up in divorce anyway.
I agree with pp- a lot of life is based on luck, you either choose to take a chance hoping things will end up well, or you don't.
There is no 'better' choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling.

No.

Ugh no, that’s awful. Your second child will be their own person, if you have one. What if that child decides to dedicate their lives to something worthwhile that takes them far from their sibling? What will their obligation be, given that you premised their existence on being a gift for someone else? Just no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling.

My sibling is far from a gift. A person is not a gift. Its for the parents, not other child.

I wouldn’t say my sibling is a gift...but she is a major blessing in my life.

And that’s great for you, but I hate it when people say this. My uncle has narcissistic personality disorder and has destroyed every relationship he’s ever had. He’s left a trail of emotional abuse in his wake.

Not every sibling is a gift because not every person is good.

Yeah I know not every sibling is a gift...just like not every husband or wife is a gift. Some spouses abuse you, some cheat on you, etc but others can be great, right? Life is a bit of a crapshoot.

Right. That’s why it’s a terrible idea to have a second kid solely in order to give the first kid a sibling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling.

I know quite a few people who would love to return their sibling/s.

Sign me up to be first in line. I'll even do an exchange.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling.

My sibling is far from a gift. A person is not a gift. Its for the parents, not other child.

I wouldn’t say my sibling is a gift...but she is a major blessing in my life.

And that’s great for you, but I hate it when people say this. My uncle has narcissistic personality disorder and has destroyed every relationship he’s ever had. He’s left a trail of emotional abuse in his wake.

Not every sibling is a gift because not every person is good.

Yeah I know not every sibling is a gift...just like not every husband or wife is a gift. Some spouses abuse you, some cheat on you, etc but others can be great, right? Life is a bit of a crapshoot.

Anonymous wrote:The greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling.

I know quite a few people who would love to return their sibling/s.

Anonymous wrote:The greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling.

No.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling.

My sibling is far from a gift. A person is not a gift. Its for the parents, not other child.

I wouldn’t say my sibling is a gift...but she is a major blessing in my life.

And that’s great for you, but I hate it when people say this. My uncle has narcissistic personality disorder and has destroyed every relationship he’s ever had. He’s left a trail of emotional abuse in his wake.

Not every sibling is a gift because not every person is good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling.

My sibling is far from a gift. A person is not a gift. Its for the parents, not other child.

I wouldn’t say my sibling is a gift...but she is a major blessing in my life.

I have not come up against any challenges of only having one.

We can pick up at a moments notice and go without much fuss (and from what I observe, that's not as easy with more than one but again, I don't have first hand experience there). It has been cheaper to go on vacation (we've been traveling abroad every summer since he was very young - he's a great traveler). I can send him to private school and afford it. Can give him all of my attention. My pregnancy was not an easy one and mentally, I decided I was one and done during my pregnancy.

Even more interestingly than my opinion on it is his - he's never asked for a sibling, he'd rather have a dog . He gets along with his friends' younger brothers which is sweet.

Anonymous wrote:The greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling.

My sibling is far from a gift. A person is not a gift. Its for the parents, not other child.

Anonymous wrote:Best-there is only one (she has a number of special needs) and parenting is exhausting.
Worst-I feel sad that she does not have siblings and that kind of connection.

PP again, and there is no guarantee that siblings will be close or even like each other or have anything in common.