That I didn't help her jump on the sofa chair to sit right next to me. That I stopped her from climbing on the desk during online class. That I am moving around when she is sleeping right now, and I am her bed.

No cat, you may not be on the kitchen counter all day, especially when I am making breakfast. There isn’t enough room in our tiny kitchen. I cannot prevent it while I sleep, but I will when awake. So out your ears forward and up.

My wife had the temerity to go into the bathroom—and close the door!

This thread is cracking me up.

I knitted a tiny little hat and put it on my cat, then tried to do a photoshoot to show how adorable she is in her little bonnet. She is not impressed with my knitting skills.

Oldest cat currently growling at the two younger ones. She was an only child for a year so she has a bad cattitude. She's 15 years old. They were separated for 6 months with baby gates until they could live in harmony. Gates came down a week ago.
She's still snubbing us for bringing in the two kittens. Wasn't planned. Both were abandoned so we kept them. Her complaints are :

I can't believe you brought those two into MY house.
I can't believe you feed them MY crispies.
I can't believe you let them play with MY toys.
I can't believe they use MY steps. There are four steps, one in every bedroom. SHE wants them ALL.
I can't believe you put them a litter box next to mine. HOW DARE YOU ! But thank you for the pee pee pads. I'm still gonna pee on the rug.
THEY TOOK MY BED ! HELL NO. That's going to cost you woman. I want 3 Crave gravies a day for that. I gotta draw a line sometimes !

I found and patched up the hole in our screened in patio (aka "catio") she'd made to get to the Real Outside. Upon discovering her escape hole was no longer available, she yowled loud and long to express the unfairness in the world. Then she set about trying to remove the new staples with her claws, all while giving me the stank eye. I'm such a b!tch.

Anonymous wrote:He knocked over a glass cup and it broke. I locked him in the bedroom while I cleaned up the glass because I didn't want him to get hurt, and he's so mad at the indignity of being locked in like a common prisoner. He keeps following me around the house to glare at me, then when I try to pet him he just turns around and ignores me. Little drama queen.

One of my friends posted a series of Tweets documenting being followed through the house, room to room, by a cat who would dramatically turn her back on the poster. Ignoring doesn't count unless you SEE it, and she was determined to make her point.

It's raining outside. He wants to go out and walk around the yard, but his paws got wet when he tried. Somehow the rain is my fault.

I tripped over him.
In my defense, I was carrying a large basket of garden supplies to the back door, and he pounced on my feet to grab my shoelaces. This cat loves shoelaces. Unfortunately, shoelaces are sometimes attached to my feet, and pouncing on them means he gets tangled up in my feet. That logic still seems to escape him, and he gets mad every time I trip on him.

^I forgot to mention, I know he’s mad because he meows really loudly through the mudroom door. He knows how to open doors so we have to put up a baby gate, close the door, AND roll a 15lb work out ball in front of the door.

Mine is mad he’s locked in the mudroom for a while until his diarrhea clears up (he got nervous at the vet today).

She's not allowed to pull up the living rug and burrow into the middle of it, or pull up the master-bedroom duvet and refuse to move at bedtime.

Never has she encountered such cruel, heartless humans....

He knocked over a glass cup and it broke. I locked him in the bedroom while I cleaned up the glass because I didn't want him to get hurt, and he's so mad at the indignity of being locked in like a common prisoner. He keeps following me around the house to glare at me, then when I try to pet him he just turns around and ignores me. Little drama queen.

I didn't finish working as soon as she wanted. She keeps pushing my headset off my head.