My parents let me do this at 18 (maybe a few weeks before, I don't recall). Not ideal, but it was spurred by a family emergency where they had to leave town and asked me to stay with a girlfriend, to which I replied was ridiculous because I had a boyfriend of two years, was headed to college, and was more comfortable with his family anyway and would rather be there. They didn't have the energy to fight it, agreed, talked to the parents whom they already knew, and it became a thing. We broke up a year later, but no regrets, no lying, no shame. I would afford my child the same if they were responsible, mature, and communicative. I mean, at 18, you kinda should expect that is the case, right?

OP here. Thanks for all the replies.

Just wanted to get various points of view.

Sleepover it is

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely NO. They can not sleep together for a few days for the sake of propriety. “They’re doing it anyway” is such a terrible reason to encourage your unwed child to have sex in your house.

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who think they can control whether or not other people have sex in their house are crazy. My DH and I almost always have sex when we stay in someone else's house. It's new and exciting!

Because married adults are exactly the same as college students who are your kids. 🙄🙄🙄

It’s still all about control. Ask yourself why you need to control other people’s sexuality.

I definitely control what happens under the roof I pay for, and anyone who has a problem with it need not cross the threshold.

So you tell all your guests tha no sexual intercourse is to be had under your roof? That’s f*cked up. Are you also Burger King lady?

I don’t tell “all” my guests that - but I would definitely tell my unmarried daughter that in the OPs situation.

I am 25. When I was 21 my DH- then boyfriend of 2 years and I could hang out with the door closed at night- but no sleepovers. His parents didnt even let us in his bedroom- you can guess which house we spent more time at. I still got pregnant at my dads. Would have happened if he was sleeping over or just hanging out. We usually did hotel rooms but if we had the place to ourselves we totally did it. My younger siblings are allowed to have sex and they have sleepovers (16 and 18) when my dad leaves for military duty (weekends alone). He turns a blind eye basically. Anyway, I have a 1 and 3 year old with him now and many regrets lol. I finished college at least but I am poor.

My parents required separate rooms unless married. Or a hotel.

Put a ring on it and yea have all the sex you want, discreetly

Absolutely NO. They can not sleep together for a few days for the sake of propriety. “They’re doing it anyway” is such a terrible reason to encourage your unwed child to have sex in your house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My senior year of HS I had been dating a girl for about a year. Her parents let me sleep over (in the basement guest room) a few times when it was snowing so I didn't have to drive in the dark and snow.

I won't even mention what we got up to.

My daughter will not be having sleepovers.

I curious. You did this. Right?
And presumably you both enjoyed it and no one got hurt?
But you definitely don’t want to let your daughter do it. Because why?
Why was it ok for you to do it but not your daughter?

Because I ejaculated in her- sans protection- probably 100 times. We were idiotic, impulse driven, consequence blind 17 year olds. It's only dumb luck that I didn't get her pregnant.

Teach your daughter better. I was taught the risks and got on birth control when I was 16. I knew how sex worked and that pregnancy would ruin my life.

Also pretty sad you would make her bf drive home in unsafe conditions because *gasp* sex!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who think they can control whether or not other people have sex in their house are crazy. My DH and I almost always have sex when we stay in someone else's house. It's new and exciting!

Because married adults are exactly the same as college students who are your kids. 🙄🙄🙄

It’s still all about control. Ask yourself why you need to control other people’s sexuality.

I definitely control what happens under the roof I pay for, and anyone who has a problem with it need not cross the threshold.

So you tell all your guests tha no sexual intercourse is to be had under your roof? That’s f*cked up. Are you also Burger King lady?

Haha this reminds me of when my sisters first boyfriend came home to stay and my mom asked them to stay in separate rooms. She was 24 and he was 40. My sister laughter. She ended up marrying him the next year. They have been married for 11 years and have 2 kids.

My sister and I both have only brought one man home and we married them.

If they are financially independent adults in a serious relationship.

Your DD isn't an adult because she's still relying on you for college funding and a place to live--even though she is 21.

If she was 25, completely independent, visiting with a serious boyfriend, and asked to have one room-- fine.

I'm not at all a prude--it's really a decorum issue imo. They can have separate rooms and sneak back and forth in the middle of the night while you pretend not to notice.

Anonymous wrote:I'm shocked at how many posters are clutching their pearls about their adult children possibly having sex. Average age of losing virginity is 18. Sex isn't dirty or devious. Make sure your kids are protected by talking to them about it and move on. Sheesh.

+1

Multiple talks, a visit to the gynecologist, a boyfriend I approve of, assuming she has a straight relationship. Safer in her own house, where she can set her own boundaries. I don’t know what age that will happen, even though I do hope for her that it isn’t before 16.

When I was in my 20s, I slept over at girlfriends houses and the rule was “sleep in separate rooms and don’t have sex in her parents house” and you know what, I actually respected these women for obeying their parents rule even though we could easily have defied it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who think they can control whether or not other people have sex in their house are crazy. My DH and I almost always have sex when we stay in someone else's house. It's new and exciting!

Because married adults are exactly the same as college students who are your kids. 🙄🙄🙄

It’s still all about control. Ask yourself why you need to control other people’s sexuality.

I definitely control what happens under the roof I pay for, and anyone who has a problem with it need not cross the threshold.