Anonymous wrote:I'm posting this from the hospital because I'm so angry. My wife was due mid-October, but because I'm a fed and the cut-off for the paid parental leave is October 1, I am now screwed out of 12 weeks of paid leave. This is some grade-A bulls**t. It is a slap in the face that my office mates who will be taking FMLA in the next few weeks for their birth are going to get paid but my FMLA won't get paid. What a horribly written law.

Yes, I get the argument that "everything has a cut-off" but this was not the appropriate way to do it. It should've been effective the day the law passed back in December. But hey, Trump needed his Space Force so we had to push through parental leave legislation that hadn't really been completely thought out (*waves at the FAA and TSA and VA*) and Congress didn't have a pandemic back then causing unprecedented levels of maternal and paternal depression and anxiety...sucks for us!

Anonymous wrote:Well, at least your kid was born before (most) school cut-off dates.

5 yrs from now you'll be so glad Junior will be old enough to go to Kinderg instead of you having to pay another long year of tuition for daycare/preschool.

Your rant over FMLA is a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things.

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Anonymous wrote:First congrats on the kid, secondly as a dad as well, no dad should be around that long at the beginning trust me on this. You don't want to be around. do your part to help by giving her space and time.

You're a shitty husband and father.

+1000. A relic from the 1950s.

every guy reading this is saying the same thing, they just don't want you to know.

That's not true, but it is true that assholes of all stripes always tell themselves that everyone secretly agrees with them and they're the only ones brave enough to say it. Many men are actually good parents. You couldn't get my DH away from DD as a newborn with a crowbar, he certainly wasn't hiding from his responsibilities and trying not to be around. Hell, he accused me of "hogging" her in in the hospital. There was no secret desire to disappear that he tamped down for appearances.

Listen lady, just like women, men are not a monolith. Just because you think your husband is a domesticated unicorn, doesn't mean that all men should be like him. He's probably someone that would be the butt of our jokes but hey, whatever makes him happy. It also doesn't mean that all men don't want to be with their wives or babies during the first few weeks. But that doesn't make them crappy fathers or a-holes. There are differences between men and women and this is one of them, for some men, not all. If you have beef with one man's different point of view than yours because your husband doesn't wear the belt in your family, then I can see why you are so angry in life. Take a chill pill. Different strokes for different folks. Sheesh.

Anonymous wrote:Congrats and boo hoo you won’t be able to steal 12 weeks pay from us taxpayers

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Anonymous wrote:Yeesh. Maybe I will get totally flamed for this, and I’m sorry that this is how my mind works, but what verification is needed in order to take the lead? I’m not really aware of any. It’s not like you have to provide a birth certificate or some thing. Your wife will probably be discharged from the hospital on one October. I mean, can you just tell your supervisor that that’s when the kid was born?

Yes, of course you have to provide a birth certificate you idiot.

I'd actually be surprised if that's true, since the paperwork involved is front-loaded before the birth of the child. Now, I'm *absolutely* not suggesting that the OP lie. That's a terrible idea. The workplace certainly could demand documentation, and if they catch you in a lie, it's absolutely a fireable offense.

OP- you're definitely in a really unfortunate situation. I think there were bound to be people in this situation no matter what, but it's got to be tough that you ended up with the short straw.

You should definitely look into getting donated sick leave *to care for your wife* after delivery. The OPM guidance instructs agencies to be rather liberal in their interpretation of the family-friend sick leave policies to grant parents several weeks during which they can use sick leave, not just annual leave. You could also try to get some donated leave. A lot of people at my agency are likely to have a ton of use-or-lose at the end of the year, so there might be a lot of people out there willing to donate leave.

Yea. You have no idea what you’re talking about. I needed a birth certificate and a letter from my OB.

To do what? The parental leave policy isn't in place yet, so you obviously didn't provide a birth certificate for that.

To take sick leave after the birth of my kid, I needed to give the benefits specialist a birth certificate to get him on insurance, but that was it. No documentation was needed for the timekeeper/managers.

You are so dense. You have to give an anticipated date ahead of time and then follow up with documentation of the actual date of birth. The leave is based on the date of birth or placement, not due date or any other arbitrary date. You can take the leave within the first year.

Please just look up the interim guidelines. On the inter web.

The OPM rule doesn't provide specific documentation requirements, but suggests you may allow employees to self-attest. It's going to be up to the agencies (and possibly managers) to decide what documentation is needed.

Or did you find something more specific that the FRN? My agency hasn't provided any details yet, which is sort of crazy since you're supposed to give 30 days notice before an expected birth.