Anonymous
Post 09/24/2020 14:21     Subject: If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dont understand the 'great expecitations lead to disapointments' part- that seems like a terrible way to lead your life generally, marriage certiicate or not


Pop on into that thread about DW and infrequent sex. It is a thread filled with disappointment about very basic expectations. People get complacent on the basics.


Looks like you ignored what we wrote. The husband gets lazy.

—A DW


No, the laziness is the point of the complacency.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2020 11:21     Subject: Re:If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:First I assume you know this isn’t really your business OP, and you know better than to ask someone this to their face, right? It just isn’t polite. But if you’re just asking on here because it’s anonymous,

1) For couples younger than 40s it’s usually because he hasn’t asked and she’s “fine” with that because she doesn’t want to lose him OR she’s not that into him so she doesn’t really care enough to be attached in a formal way. it’s easier to disentangle if someone better comes along

2) for older couples, many want their assets separate

Marriage within modern society is to establish a cohesive stable family unit for raising kids. Not really a point to marry apart from this unless ur religious or want the tax break or health insurance benefits or maybe you’re just a romantic at heart...


I'm a NP, but geez, thanks Mom. You must be new here. It's literally the point of an anonymous forum.


+1 to that, but the rest of the ppp's post was spot on. It boils down trust and commitment issues combined with insecurities for the first scenario. I totally understand the second scenario, like some pp's each with their own kids from a previous marriage have.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2020 10:27     Subject: If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In my culture, couples live together, have children together but don't necessarily get married. Many only get married once they have children together.


Which culture is this?


I'm not that poster, but all my Norwegian relatives do this.


Many Scandinavian countries are like this. How do Americans not know this?


Netherlands and Germany is this way too.


I think it’s so prevalent in France they have legal recognition for it “en pac”.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2020 10:25     Subject: If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
Too young to get married. We still have chances to grow, and maybe grow out of each other *mid 20s.

Well get married right before having kids, and buying a house.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2020 09:59     Subject: If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
Anonymous wrote:It's old fashioned, I don't need it, I have no desire to mix finances. That being said, I am considering it, but it seems like something old people really worry about.


Do you have a will and power of attorney in place so that you can make medical decisions on each other's behalves? Do you own real estate together?
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2020 09:23     Subject: If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In my culture, couples live together, have children together but don't necessarily get married. Many only get married once they have children together.


Which culture is this?


I'm not that poster, but all my Norwegian relatives do this.


Many Scandinavian countries are like this. How do Americans not know this?


Netherlands and Germany is this way too.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2020 20:17     Subject: If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In my culture, couples live together, have children together but don't necessarily get married. Many only get married once they have children together.


Which culture is this?


French Canadian
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2020 19:48     Subject: If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In my culture, couples live together, have children together but don't necessarily get married. Many only get married once they have children together.


Which culture is this?


I'm not that poster, but all my Norwegian relatives do this.


Many Scandinavian countries are like this. How do Americans not know this?
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2020 18:29     Subject: If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In my culture, couples live together, have children together but don't necessarily get married. Many only get married once they have children together.


Which culture is this?


I'm not that poster, but all my Norwegian relatives do this.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2020 17:46     Subject: If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
Anonymous wrote:In my culture, couples live together, have children together but don't necessarily get married. Many only get married once they have children together.


Which culture is this?
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2020 17:45     Subject: If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
In my culture, couples live together, have children together but don't necessarily get married. Many only get married once they have children together.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2020 17:39     Subject: If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
Anonymous wrote:I've been with my partner for eight years. He's a wonderful man, who let me know within the first year that he wants to marry me. We've recently decided to do so in 2022.

I've been more reticent for two reasons. First, taxes. We'd have to pay a lot more in taxes because of a significant income difference and the loss of head of household status.

Second, and this is definitely a result of my personal baggage, is I got a lot of comfort from the idea that if it wasn't going to work out, I am within my power to just tell him to leave. I own the house. I pay the bulk of the bills. I am in control. (at least I feel that way) However, over the last year or so, I feel uncomfortable with the idea that I wouldn't have any say in his care if something happened to him; and vice versa.


You can give each other hipaa and health-care power of attorney to solve that last issue.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2020 17:38     Subject: If you are in a long-term partnership and not marrying, what are your reasons?
Anonymous wrote:It's old fashioned, I don't need it, I have no desire to mix finances. That being said, I am considering it, but it seems like something old people really worry about.



You don’t have to mix finances. We don’t. Married 23yrs. Financially secure. Evenly.