Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get married, have kids.

Problem solved.

Yup. Husband with a high income solves your problems. You don’t really want to work, you just want to have more money.

+3

It’s obvious

I think the crux of the matter is that OP is thinking in terms of what they can do, and focused on the fact they are sure they can do if they get to the right level. If that is the focus, the process looks a little arbitrary and unreasonable, and it looks like hiring managers are just being, I don't know, pissy or obstinate or unfair.

But if you look at it from the hiring manager's perspective, if you could hire Person A for a given job, but they can only do well at it so long as they find it interesting and doing it only involves things the employee really cares about, or Person B, who has a proven track record of sticking with tasks even through the unexpectedly tedious bits, and when the scope of tasks changes ... which is the better candidate? Which one do you have to spend more time supervising and protecting from aspects of the job they might not like (because you know they have quit quickly in the past when they felt uninterested or too challenged)?

Any job with attractive characteristics (creative, exciting, pays well, whatever combination) will attract multiple applicants. I'd rather have someone with a little less talent and a lot more grit, because i think I will be much more likely to be giving high performance reviews to that one, especially over time. They are also going to be a lot less work to manage, and nobody has spare time and energy to spend when they could just have hired a better worker.

Mid-30s and still figuring out what you want to be when you grow up while still living like Peter Pan on a trust fund?

OP you need a serious wake-up call.

The world isn't sitting around waiting for you to decide what you want to do. In the meantime, others who have had much less fortune than you have gone out, gotten kicked in the @ss, got up and persevered. They've had much more difficult obstacles than a case of ADHD. And they've succeeded and made a career for themselves. Do you expect one of these people to welcome YOU with open arms into a cushy management job? You are delusional.

Snap out of it and kick yourself into gear. How about you dance your way over to the Peace Corps or AmeriCorps other helping organization. Go to a place where you can actually do some good, gain some self-respect and self-discipline and maybe then you can find a niche for yourself.

Get a job at a nonprofit in a subject area/ cause you genuinely care about. You will not be starting as president. You will be a $25k/yr solider. Throw yourself into it. Work your butt off. Serve others. Build something. And then move up that ladder.

OP is a woman.

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting how everyone assumed OP is a woman and advised finding a rich husband. Some implicit bias there!

It's interesting how you're assuming we all thought OP was a woman rather than a gay man.

8:22 here— Sorry, I hit submit too soon

I was going to say that instead of continuing to imagine yourself as the CEO of some hypothetical company, you need to look for a job that is a fit for the personality you already have and the skill sets you actually enjoy using right now, even if it is not as impressive as your imaginary CEO title.

You studied dance in school so apparently are somewhat artistic and athletic. What did you like about dance? what are you doing with your time when you’re not working for months in a row? What are subjects that you know a lot about because learning about them is pleasurable to you?

Would you be interested in teaching dance or working at a dance studio? What about working for a company that makes and distributes dance supplies and costumes? Or teaching a dance-based workout class at a local gym? Would you be interested in working with a nonprofit arts organization? Or working front of house at a theater so you could be around artists and see a lot of shows?

As for life goals:
Since your baseline is enough money to live off of, literally any money would be enough to make a better life for yourself. Rent a cheap room with roommate for a year and work a job that pays literally anything and save all the money you earn and all the money you’d otherwise be spending on renting your own place. In a year you have at least a modest down payment on buying an apartment or starter home.

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting how everyone assumed OP is a woman and advised finding a rich husband. Some implicit bias there!

Use of "she" is very common here. Doesn't necessarily mean people assume OP's gender

Anonymous wrote:It's interesting how everyone assumed OP is a woman and advised finding a rich husband. Some implicit bias there!

1. Not "everyone"
2. It's interesting that you assume "finding a rich husband" means you must be talking about a woman

Real talk:

In a city like DC, you are not likely to get a job that is going to allow you to move up in the ranks quickly, or at all, with our spotty resume, lack of substantive experience, and competition with younger, more experienced, more dedicated, thirsty, up-to-date recently trained new professionals. That's just now how it works.

The good news is that it seems like you are connected with regard to money, and you have friends who are advancing in their careers. If your goal is to have a higher standard of living (which seems to be your goal, right? Not necessarily make more money, but have a better/bigger house and trips, right?) then I'd recommend two approaches.

1. Focus and dating with the end-goal of marrying someone who can add to your household income and fix this problem for you.

2. Focus on developing your career slowly over time, via connections with people you already know. A friend started a business and needs someone to do X and you can do that? Tell them you want to try it. A friend works at an arts non-profit and you have skills to be a marketing coordinator when previously you were a receptionist? Ask them to help you. Work hard, see a career coach, consider meds if they help you focus. See where it leads.

For either approach, you should consider the image you project. Instead of talking about wanting to work in "liberal arts" (a term college students use...not really a term 34 year old professional women use) discuss your current job as somewhat unfulfilling but focus on other non-career related things that make you "you." It sounds like you are incredibly naive with regard to career stuff: you say you heard lawyers don't make a lot of money (can be true, but not generally, and not compared to what you are making), the liberal arts phrasing, etc... and that could be a turn off to potential mates as well (who may be dating accomplished women in their 30s). You don't have to turn into a career woman overnight, but perhaps focus on other things.

You could also move to a lower COL city and find a job there. Competition would be way easier, and the dating pool might also be easier.

It's interesting how everyone assumed OP is a woman and advised finding a rich husband. Some implicit bias there!

I would get married to a high owner or move out of country to somewhere with great weather and low cost of living and live a beach life.

It sounds like you are stuck on the idea that you need to find the right white-collar job so that you can become a top executive and have a job your friends would be impressed by. I am here to tell you that that is likely not going to happen for you at this point. Certainly not without massive sacrifice and a lot of work on your coping mechanisms for the ADHD (probably including going back on meds).

You seem to think that if you just pick a company and white-knuckle through X amount of time in a menial position they will magically promote you based on your self-perception that you excel at “higher-level thinking.” But 1) That’s not how promotions actually happen and 2) Even if it were, why would the company promote someone with a decade of flaky work history over nothing more than potential when they could instead invest those same resources in someone 5-10 years younger with the exact same potential and no track record of being a screw-up?

Plenty of people with ADHD do just fine. Probably because they don't have a trust.

Anonymous wrote:If you are figuring out how real life works in mid-30, you are not as smart as you think. Relying on the trust fund when you are young is probably the worst thing you could have done. Just simply stupid.

These responses are harsh. It's not OP's fault she had a trust fund and maybe did did not receive much guidance.