Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 11:56     Subject: Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What a sad, mean-spirited thread. If I cared about impressing someone with my wealth, I'd probably wear big diamonds, drive a fancy car, or invite them to parties in my huge mansion. I certainly wouldn't bring another life into this world to show off to you.

We're middle class with three kids - public school (wouldn't choose private even if super rich), a couple vacations a year (one drive to beach, one fly somewhere), 4 bedroom house but older, not fancy. We'll be able to cover most of college, all if not one of the most expensive. They'll be mostly on their own for grad school.

We had our children because we love raising children. The dynamic of our family is so fun and each child brings their own personality, talents, ideas. If we won lotto, we'd probably have one more. Not to show off, but because we'd enjoy bringing another littler person into our lives.


if you can cover most of college at the most expensive privates for 3 kids you are not "middle class."


Why do you think you know more about my finances than I do? My employer provides a substantial tuition benefit for dependents. That will cover a large portion of college for us.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 11:55     Subject: Re:Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
We don't have 4+ kids as a status symbol and our kids don't go to private schools. (Not because we can't afford it but because the public schools work great for them.)
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 11:52     Subject: Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:What a sad, mean-spirited thread. If I cared about impressing someone with my wealth, I'd probably wear big diamonds, drive a fancy car, or invite them to parties in my huge mansion. I certainly wouldn't bring another life into this world to show off to you.

We're middle class with three kids - public school (wouldn't choose private even if super rich), a couple vacations a year (one drive to beach, one fly somewhere), 4 bedroom house but older, not fancy. We'll be able to cover most of college, all if not one of the most expensive. They'll be mostly on their own for grad school.

We had our children because we love raising children. The dynamic of our family is so fun and each child brings their own personality, talents, ideas. If we won lotto, we'd probably have one more. Not to show off, but because we'd enjoy bringing another littler person into our lives.


That’s probably quite a bit above middle class. But I could care less how many kids people have.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 11:51     Subject: Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:What a sad, mean-spirited thread. If I cared about impressing someone with my wealth, I'd probably wear big diamonds, drive a fancy car, or invite them to parties in my huge mansion. I certainly wouldn't bring another life into this world to show off to you.

We're middle class with three kids - public school (wouldn't choose private even if super rich), a couple vacations a year (one drive to beach, one fly somewhere), 4 bedroom house but older, not fancy. We'll be able to cover most of college, all if not one of the most expensive. They'll be mostly on their own for grad school.

We had our children because we love raising children. The dynamic of our family is so fun and each child brings their own personality, talents, ideas. If we won lotto, we'd probably have one more. Not to show off, but because we'd enjoy bringing another littler person into our lives.


if you can cover most of college at the most expensive privates for 3 kids you are not "middle class."
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 11:48     Subject: Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
What a sad, mean-spirited thread. If I cared about impressing someone with my wealth, I'd probably wear big diamonds, drive a fancy car, or invite them to parties in my huge mansion. I certainly wouldn't bring another life into this world to show off to you.

We're middle class with three kids - public school (wouldn't choose private even if super rich), a couple vacations a year (one drive to beach, one fly somewhere), 4 bedroom house but older, not fancy. We'll be able to cover most of college, all if not one of the most expensive. They'll be mostly on their own for grad school.

We had our children because we love raising children. The dynamic of our family is so fun and each child brings their own personality, talents, ideas. If we won lotto, we'd probably have one more. Not to show off, but because we'd enjoy bringing another littler person into our lives.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 11:15     Subject: Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It seems like the wealthy law firm partner families have four or five kids, and the lower middle class or working class families. Regular middle class families have one or two.

This. Those with 4+ kids are on the opposite ends of SES spectrum.


+1. In Fairfax Co at least, families with 4+ kids are either really rich or really poor. Most of them claim to be middle class, though.


Because Catholics here tend to be either pretty rich or pretty poor.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 11:13     Subject: Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In my area it’s a symbol of poor planning and overstretched exhausted mom.


I am sorry you couldn't have more kids. That must be hard for you to process.


DP. This is just such an idiotic comment. Not everybody wants to be some gross brood mare mindlessly birthing one child after another so that their empty, soulless lives have some purpose.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 11:13     Subject: Re:Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s a status symbol but it’s definitely a rich person thing. We make ~700k and can only easily afford 3 and the type of lifestyle we want (nice house, private school, several vacations a year, 100% of college and grad school paid for, etc.).

This is a little out of touch.


NP. True though. I could have written the same thing. Kids are super expensive! Especially if you are raising them in an UMC, private school context.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 11:11     Subject: Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:I’ve noticed in my UMC area that having 4+ kids is the new status symbol, it’s mostly the wealthier families that do it and do t have to give a second though to providing college or paying for several kids at once in pricey camps or private school!


I don't think so. It makes me wonder if you were born/grew up in WV or south somewhere... you know, in the woods.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 11:09     Subject: Re:Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s a status symbol but it’s definitely a rich person thing. We make ~700k and can only easily afford 3 and the type of lifestyle we want (nice house, private school, several vacations a year, 100% of college and grad school paid for, etc.).


I thought I wrote this until I got to the "several vacations" part. Yup. DH wants 4 but I don't think the money works.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 11:07     Subject: Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It seems like the wealthy law firm partner families have four or five kids, and the lower middle class or working class families. Regular middle class families have one or two.

This. Those with 4+ kids are on the opposite ends of SES spectrum.


+1. In Fairfax Co at least, families with 4+ kids are either really rich or really poor. Most of them claim to be middle class, though.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 11:00     Subject: Re:Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In the mid-1900s 6-10 kids was common among Irish Catholic families. I don’t know if that is true today.


Many of the wealthy/educated Irish Catholics I know get started on kids/married later than they used to but spend their early 30s to early 40s having kids so end up with 4 or 5 kids. My good friend is Irish Catholic in nova. They got married in their early 30s and she had four kids, the last of which was born when she was 42.

I think kellyanne and Maria shriver fit in this group too.


Shriver had all 4 kids between 34 and 42. I don't know how old Kellyanne was when she had kids, but she was 34 when she got married so they were all born between her mid-30s and her 40s.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 10:59     Subject: Re:Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if it’s a status symbol but it’s definitely a rich person thing. We make ~700k and can only easily afford 3 and the type of lifestyle we want (nice house, private school, several vacations a year, 100% of college and grad school paid for, etc.).

This is a little out of touch.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 10:57     Subject: Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It seems like the wealthy law firm partner families have four or five kids, and the lower middle class or working class families. Regular middle class families have one or two.

This. Those with 4+ kids are on the opposite ends of SES spectrum.


Well, certain groups tend to be heavily represented at the two tails in big cities...for example in NYC Orthodox Jews (though it tends to be the Modern Orthodox among the wealthy and the Hasidic among the poor) and Catholics are heavily represented in the tails.


Catholics are in the two tails because of immigration patterns... there are a lot of lower-income Catholics who are recent immigrants from Latin America and there are a lot of Catholics whose families came here at the turn of the century and have been here for 4+ generations at this point and have had time to become established.
Anonymous
Post 09/02/2020 10:50     Subject: Is having 4+ kids a status symbol?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It seems like the wealthy law firm partner families have four or five kids, and the lower middle class or working class families. Regular middle class families have one or two.

This. Those with 4+ kids are on the opposite ends of SES spectrum.


Well, certain groups tend to be heavily represented at the two tails in big cities...for example in NYC Orthodox Jews (though it tends to be the Modern Orthodox among the wealthy and the Hasidic among the poor) and Catholics are heavily represented in the tails.


In Boston Irish Catholics tend to be in the tails, too.