Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:44     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:Why were schools closed for that long if the war lasted from 1992 till 1995?


My apologies, I made a typo in the title. I meant to say 10th grade, not 12th. I should have proofed that better.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:44     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:Why were schools closed for that long if the war lasted from 1992 till 1995?


The siege of Sarajevo did not end until 1996 and even after that, many schools were completely destroyed and everything was in shambles. They probably did not have spaces, teachers hired, etc. for a while.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:42     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Why were schools closed for that long if the war lasted from 1992 till 1995?
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:12     Subject: Re:I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Generally what happened to people your age? Do most of them have a college degree?


No, of course not. I think our response to think will be far more important than what is going on now in terms of education. A lot of the youth fled the country after the war looking for some normalcy and better opportunities. I personally was not able to leave Sarajevo during the war because it was under siege the whole time. Just like in normal times, some kids had the advantage of natural curiosity and the ability to go to college and others did not.


For those that stayed what percentage are happy/successful?

What percentage went to college?


It's a mixed bag. You have to consider what happened after the fighting stopped. The whole country had to be rebuilt basically from scratch. The Bosnian government could have done a much better job. To this day they are very corrupt and there is no doubt in my mind that I'll see another conflict there during my lifetime.

Do you think Dodik will try to create a separate state or join with Serbia?


That is what they have been trying to do for the past 25 years. I don't think they will ever stop. Nationalism and tensions are still very high in the Balkans. I just wish that people realized that while they are squabling with their neighbors the government is robbing them blind.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:10     Subject: Re:I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanks for posting, OP, and putting things in perspective. I’m sorry for what you and your family went through. My SIL (husbands brothers wife) is Bosniak and was a child during the war. her family managed to leave Bosnia for Croatia and then left Croatia for the US so they were not in Bosnia during the war but she grew up as a refugee and I think has a lot of trauma from that (though she never talks about it.) I often feel ashamed of any times I’ve complained about aspects of my life that have been difficult because I realize it’s nothing compared to what she (or countless others around the world) went through.


I don't normally talk about it either. I don't want to sound like I'm lecturing people and comparing hardships. This was meant to be a post to comfort people and let them know that it is possible to come out successful after much harder hardship than we are experiencing now.

I never minimize anyone's pain. We all go through struggles in life and it's pointless to compare the pain we might be feeling.


I’m the PP you’re responding to. Thanks for your response. I hope you know I don’t think you were lecturing or comparing hardships at all. I really value hearing your experience.

My question for you is in what ways has your experience affected your personal relationships later in life?


I definitely know what you meant and thank you.

I mentioned earlier that from the outside it looks like I'm leading a perfectly normal life. I got an education, I have a good-paying job, I just bought a house, I'm a productive member of society. However, my personal relationships have been and still are my biggest struggle. I can't say that I'm doing well in that aspect at all.



That reminds me very much of my SIL: she’s been successful in her career, has two great kids, and lives in a nice area. However, she and my BIL have struggled so much in their marriage and I know SIL has struggled a lot with making friends as well. She told me once that these struggles are often related to anger she has over the trauma she endured as a child. I sympathize greatly but don’t know if there’s anything I could do to help. I’m sorry that you’ve had struggles w personal relationships too. Hugs to you. Thanks again for your post and your honesty and candor about very difficult experiences.


That is exactly what I struggle with as well. It's isolating and crushing at times.

Just love her and know that the anger she sometimes exhibits is really anxiety over so many things she experienced. For me, I try so desperately to maintain control all the time. It's impossible, of course, but the more I try to more anxtious I get. My anxiery comes out as anger.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:06     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:I come from a family of war refugees who also didn't get schooling but who eventually landed in the US and eventually did well. But what I always heard when they talked about it was that they were the unusual and lucky ones, and that most kids in that situation struggled terribly and definitely never made up the lost educational time. They remained interested in issues of access to education their whole lives. One of them became a professor and spent years in the summer working on international education access projects.

OP: Have you ever done anything like that? Do you volunteer or have a passion for education access?


10000% I believe that education is a way out of poverty, bigotry, racism, and many other things. Education is one thing that no one can take away from you once you have it.

I volunteer at a non-profit that teaches immigrants English. I know better than anyone that the first step to success in this country is to learn to speak English. I do my best to help others succeed.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:06     Subject: Re:I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Generally what happened to people your age? Do most of them have a college degree?


No, of course not. I think our response to think will be far more important than what is going on now in terms of education. A lot of the youth fled the country after the war looking for some normalcy and better opportunities. I personally was not able to leave Sarajevo during the war because it was under siege the whole time. Just like in normal times, some kids had the advantage of natural curiosity and the ability to go to college and others did not.


For those that stayed what percentage are happy/successful?

What percentage went to college?


It's a mixed bag. You have to consider what happened after the fighting stopped. The whole country had to be rebuilt basically from scratch. The Bosnian government could have done a much better job. To this day they are very corrupt and there is no doubt in my mind that I'll see another conflict there during my lifetime.

Do you think Dodik will try to create a separate state or join with Serbia?
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:05     Subject: Re:I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanks for posting, OP, and putting things in perspective. I’m sorry for what you and your family went through. My SIL (husbands brothers wife) is Bosniak and was a child during the war. her family managed to leave Bosnia for Croatia and then left Croatia for the US so they were not in Bosnia during the war but she grew up as a refugee and I think has a lot of trauma from that (though she never talks about it.) I often feel ashamed of any times I’ve complained about aspects of my life that have been difficult because I realize it’s nothing compared to what she (or countless others around the world) went through.


I don't normally talk about it either. I don't want to sound like I'm lecturing people and comparing hardships. This was meant to be a post to comfort people and let them know that it is possible to come out successful after much harder hardship than we are experiencing now.

I never minimize anyone's pain. We all go through struggles in life and it's pointless to compare the pain we might be feeling.


I’m the PP you’re responding to. Thanks for your response. I hope you know I don’t think you were lecturing or comparing hardships at all. I really value hearing your experience.

My question for you is in what ways has your experience affected your personal relationships later in life?


I definitely know what you meant and thank you.

I mentioned earlier that from the outside it looks like I'm leading a perfectly normal life. I got an education, I have a good-paying job, I just bought a house, I'm a productive member of society. However, my personal relationships have been and still are my biggest struggle. I can't say that I'm doing well in that aspect at all.



That reminds me very much of my SIL: she’s been successful in her career, has two great kids, and lives in a nice area. However, she and my BIL have struggled so much in their marriage and I know SIL has struggled a lot with making friends as well. She told me once that these struggles are often related to anger she has over the trauma she endured as a child. I sympathize greatly but don’t know if there’s anything I could do to help. I’m sorry that you’ve had struggles w personal relationships too. Hugs to you. Thanks again for your post and your honesty and candor about very difficult experiences.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 12:02     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
I come from a family of war refugees who also didn't get schooling but who eventually landed in the US and eventually did well. But what I always heard when they talked about it was that they were the unusual and lucky ones, and that most kids in that situation struggled terribly and definitely never made up the lost educational time. They remained interested in issues of access to education their whole lives. One of them became a professor and spent years in the summer working on international education access projects.

OP: Have you ever done anything like that? Do you volunteer or have a passion for education access?
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 11:58     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:This is such an inspirational and calming post. Thank you so much, OP.


Thank you. That's exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to provide some comfort and assurance that things will be ok in the end.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 11:58     Subject: Re:I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanks for posting, OP, and putting things in perspective. I’m sorry for what you and your family went through. My SIL (husbands brothers wife) is Bosniak and was a child during the war. her family managed to leave Bosnia for Croatia and then left Croatia for the US so they were not in Bosnia during the war but she grew up as a refugee and I think has a lot of trauma from that (though she never talks about it.) I often feel ashamed of any times I’ve complained about aspects of my life that have been difficult because I realize it’s nothing compared to what she (or countless others around the world) went through.


I don't normally talk about it either. I don't want to sound like I'm lecturing people and comparing hardships. This was meant to be a post to comfort people and let them know that it is possible to come out successful after much harder hardship than we are experiencing now.

I never minimize anyone's pain. We all go through struggles in life and it's pointless to compare the pain we might be feeling.


I’m the PP you’re responding to. Thanks for your response. I hope you know I don’t think you were lecturing or comparing hardships at all. I really value hearing your experience.

My question for you is in what ways has your experience affected your personal relationships later in life?


I definitely know what you meant and thank you.

I mentioned earlier that from the outside it looks like I'm leading a perfectly normal life. I got an education, I have a good-paying job, I just bought a house, I'm a productive member of society. However, my personal relationships have been and still are my biggest struggle. I can't say that I'm doing well in that aspect at all.

Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 11:55     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
This is such an inspirational and calming post. Thank you so much, OP.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 11:51     Subject: I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you an exception? What happened to your classmates?


I don't think I'm the exception at all. Among those of us who had the drive and the ambition to go to college, we did. The rest of my generation who didn't want to go to college are doing other things now. But I do not think that any of us who wanted to continue our education was not able to due to missed time. What happens at home is extremely important too. Have your kids read A LOT. Talk about all sorts of subjects. Develop curiosity within them.


That seems highly narrow minded.

So people with dyslexic kids should say... read A LOT?

So a small percentage of people you know actually got an education.


I don't think I said that anywhere. I would venture to say that kids with dyslexia are capable of reading. It may not be fast and they may trail behind their classmates but they can certainly learn how to read.

I didn't say that a small percentage of poeple I know got an education. I said that just like in normal circumstances kids who had the drive and natural propensity to go to college did exactly that. Those who didn't finsihed trade schools and are doing other things. Not everyone is meant to go to college and that's totally ok.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 11:49     Subject: Re:I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanks for posting, OP, and putting things in perspective. I’m sorry for what you and your family went through. My SIL (husbands brothers wife) is Bosniak and was a child during the war. her family managed to leave Bosnia for Croatia and then left Croatia for the US so they were not in Bosnia during the war but she grew up as a refugee and I think has a lot of trauma from that (though she never talks about it.) I often feel ashamed of any times I’ve complained about aspects of my life that have been difficult because I realize it’s nothing compared to what she (or countless others around the world) went through.


I don't normally talk about it either. I don't want to sound like I'm lecturing people and comparing hardships. This was meant to be a post to comfort people and let them know that it is possible to come out successful after much harder hardship than we are experiencing now.

I never minimize anyone's pain. We all go through struggles in life and it's pointless to compare the pain we might be feeling.


I’m the PP you’re responding to. Thanks for your response. I hope you know I don’t think you were lecturing or comparing hardships at all. I really value hearing your experience.

My question for you is in what ways has your experience affected your personal relationships later in life?
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 11:48     Subject: Re:I didn't have school from 7th to 12th grade due to war. AMA.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Generally what happened to people your age? Do most of them have a college degree?


No, of course not. I think our response to think will be far more important than what is going on now in terms of education. A lot of the youth fled the country after the war looking for some normalcy and better opportunities. I personally was not able to leave Sarajevo during the war because it was under siege the whole time. Just like in normal times, some kids had the advantage of natural curiosity and the ability to go to college and others did not.


For those that stayed what percentage are happy/successful?

What percentage went to college?


It's a mixed bag. You have to consider what happened after the fighting stopped. The whole country had to be rebuilt basically from scratch. The Bosnian government could have done a much better job. To this day they are very corrupt and there is no doubt in my mind that I'll see another conflict there during my lifetime.