Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 11:27     Subject: Re:Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would tell a man (and will tell my son):

1. Do not get married unless she is way out of your league in terms of looks, income, assets, social status.
2. Keep finances separate.
3. Do not entangle pre-marital assets.
4. Keep a safe deposit box in another state with enough cash to hire a lawyer and enough money to live off for six months.
5. During the marriage, withdraw cash from your paycheck every two weeks and buy gold coins. Keep them in the safe deposit box.


This is advice if planning to divorce, not get married.


In some US states the divorce rate is 75 percent. Guess who files in most of those divorces?


1) what states (I dont believe it)
and
2) women, obviously. Because men are sh!ts. And I love men, but they way they act ... sh!ts.


Wow that is pretty sexist. It is split in terms of fault. Most cases it’s both persons faults. Other times it is split equally between the man or women....to think otherwise is sexist.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 11:18     Subject: Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Anonymous wrote:Sexual compatibility. You have to evaluate it and frequency. Sex will drop off once you are married. If the man or woman is bad in bed, wants more or less sex, etc, it only gets worst. This is a ticking time bomb in most marriages. Many men are not that experienced with sex and women tend to believe all women are great in bed. This leads to problems.

Also never start an airing of the grievances when you go to bed. Airing if the grievances should be done during normal business hours- 9-5, not on vacation, not on the weekend, etc.


This is good advice!!
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 10:45     Subject: Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Advice from my mom, married 48 years:
“ even though you might be tired or not in the mood, just go along with it. Most of the time you’ll find that you do get interested as things move along.”

Also, sex gets better with age if you’re open to talking about it. Definitely read these books:

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Kerner) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060538260/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_api_i_eQdgFbAH71WPZ

And

Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man (Kerner) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060834390/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_XQdgFb1C4TWDR



No disrespect to your mom, but I think this a little old fashioned. Like a good woman puts her needs after everyone else's.

Your fatigue is just as valid as his desire.


DP but I read that mom's advice as realizing that she (like many women) experiences responsive desire. I am high drive but even when I'm not in the mood if I'm not actively pissed at DH I'll go along because I know that I'll get into it in a minute or two. Not because his desire trumps mine but because my desire responds to his.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 10:44     Subject: Re:Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Married 25+ years:

Don’t sweat the small stuff. You’re in it for the long haul.
Pick your battles and when you do, don’t do it when you’re mad. Be respectful even when you disagree.
Don’t be so rigid with 50-50 division of labor. It ebbs and flows over the years, just don’t allow it to be 90-10 or 100-0.
Don’t lose your own identity. You’re a better couple when you’re both happy individuals.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 10:42     Subject: Re:Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Anonymous wrote:I would tell a man (and will tell my son):

1. Do not get married unless she is way out of your league in terms of looks, income, assets, social status.
2. Keep finances separate.
3. Do not entangle pre-marital assets.
4. Keep a safe deposit box in another state with enough cash to hire a lawyer and enough money to live off for six months.
5. During the marriage, withdraw cash from your paycheck every two weeks and buy gold coins. Keep them in the safe deposit box.


Wow, what a mindset.

I wish your son would come with a warning, that he was raised by some kind of misogynistic mafia don.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 10:40     Subject: Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Anonymous wrote:Advice from my mom, married 48 years:
“ even though you might be tired or not in the mood, just go along with it. Most of the time you’ll find that you do get interested as things move along.”

Also, sex gets better with age if you’re open to talking about it. Definitely read these books:

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Kerner) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060538260/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_api_i_eQdgFbAH71WPZ

And

Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man (Kerner) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060834390/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_XQdgFb1C4TWDR



No disrespect to your mom, but I think this a little old fashioned. Like a good woman puts her needs after everyone else's.

Your fatigue is just as valid as his desire.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 10:24     Subject: Re:Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would tell a man (and will tell my son):

1. Do not get married unless she is way out of your league in terms of looks, income, assets, social status.
2. Keep finances separate.
3. Do not entangle pre-marital assets.
4. Keep a safe deposit box in another state with enough cash to hire a lawyer and enough money to live off for six months.
5. During the marriage, withdraw cash from your paycheck every two weeks and buy gold coins. Keep them in the safe deposit box.


This is advice if planning to divorce, not get married.


In some US states the divorce rate is 75 percent. Guess who files in most of those divorces?


1) what states (I dont believe it)
and
2) women, obviously. Because men are sh!ts. And I love men, but they way they act ... sh!ts.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 10:08     Subject: Re:Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Anonymous wrote:I would tell a man (and will tell my son):

1. Do not get married unless she is way out of your league in terms of looks, income, assets, social status.
2. Keep finances separate.
3. Do not entangle pre-marital assets.
4. Keep a safe deposit box in another state with enough cash to hire a lawyer and enough money to live off for six months.
5. During the marriage, withdraw cash from your paycheck every two weeks and buy gold coins. Keep them in the safe deposit box.


Dude, who hurt you?
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 10:03     Subject: Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Sexual compatibility. You have to evaluate it and frequency. Sex will drop off once you are married. If the man or woman is bad in bed, wants more or less sex, etc, it only gets worst. This is a ticking time bomb in most marriages. Many men are not that experienced with sex and women tend to believe all women are great in bed. This leads to problems.

Also never start an airing of the grievances when you go to bed. Airing if the grievances should be done during normal business hours- 9-5, not on vacation, not on the weekend, etc.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 09:41     Subject: Re:Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would tell a man (and will tell my son):

1. Do not get married unless she is way out of your league in terms of looks, income, assets, social status.
2. Keep finances separate.
3. Do not entangle pre-marital assets.
4. Keep a safe deposit box in another state with enough cash to hire a lawyer and enough money to live off for six months.
5. During the marriage, withdraw cash from your paycheck every two weeks and buy gold coins. Keep them in the safe deposit box.


This is advice if planning to divorce, not get married.


In some US states the divorce rate is 75 percent. Guess who files in most of those divorces?
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 09:30     Subject: Re:Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Anonymous wrote:I would tell a man (and will tell my son):

1. Do not get married unless she is way out of your league in terms of looks, income, assets, social status.
2. Keep finances separate.
3. Do not entangle pre-marital assets.
4. Keep a safe deposit box in another state with enough cash to hire a lawyer and enough money to live off for six months.
5. During the marriage, withdraw cash from your paycheck every two weeks and buy gold coins. Keep them in the safe deposit box.


How long have you been divorced?
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 09:25     Subject: Re:Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Know that your spouse could be gone tomorrow. That doesn't mean you both should quit your jobs and live every day like it's your last, but it means that putting things off time and time again isn't a good thing. Make time for your spouse NOW. Enjoy your spouse NOW. Tell your spouse you love them NOW. Not only would this help if you were to lose them suddenly, but it also helps you appreciate them every day, and gratitude does wonders for attitudes.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 09:10     Subject: Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Advice from my mom, married 48 years:
“ even though you might be tired or not in the mood, just go along with it. Most of the time you’ll find that you do get interested as things move along.”

Also, sex gets better with age if you’re open to talking about it. Definitely read these books:

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Kerner) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060538260/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_api_i_eQdgFbAH71WPZ

And

Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man (Kerner) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060834390/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_XQdgFb1C4TWDR

Anonymous
Post 07/22/2020 03:54     Subject: Re:Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Be willing to sleep on things...it will matter in the morning or it won’t, but staying up to discuss things almost never makes anything better.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2020 20:22     Subject: Best Piece of Marital Advice?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Never talk.poorly about your spouse to your family.


+ 1


Especially when he tells you to never talk with anyone.