Anonymous
Post 07/14/2020 20:37     Subject: My Brother is Insisting on Having His September Wedding
Anonymous wrote:Your parents are more likely to die in a car crash going to the grocery store than covid-19. I understand that you are afraid. Do not participate. It is okay, but it is not okay for you to be so controlling regarding your brother's major life event. If the church is only allowing 10 people (I assume your parents would be part of the 10), I don't see what the big deal is. Have them wear masks and sit at their own pew. They will not get covid during the ceremony.

Actually...
In 2019, approximately 38,800 people died in the US from automobile accidents.
https://www.nsc.org/road-safety/safety-topics/fatality-estimates#:~:text=In%202019%2C%20an%20estimated%2038%2C800%20people%20lost%20their,%E2%80%93%20also%20a%202%25%20decrease%20over%202018%20figures.
In the first 6 months of 2020, over 138k people have died in the US from COVID. So... they are at a minimum SIX times more likely to die from COVID than a car crash. That isn’t even taking into account that the elderly are far more likely to die from COVID.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2020 20:17     Subject: Re:My Brother is Insisting on Having His September Wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your brother is selfish, and none of that sounds fun (dancing boxes?). Masks with holes in them will not work. And one can get married in a church without a huge reception.

I’m sorry your parents aren’t listening to reason. I hope you can get them to change their minds about participating.


OP here- of course I’m one of the only ones in healthcare but my dad in particular is not concerned about the risk. It is SO stressful and I would never forgive my brother if something happened to my parents.


Because he held a gun to their back and frog-marched them into the reception?

Your parents are grown-ass adults and are fully responsible for their own choices. Stop infantilizing them.


OMG on every thread! Life is not black and white- yes, you can put someone in a "position" without physically harming them


People can beg, cajole, threaten, pout, manipulate, wheedle, whine, and be offended all they want. But they don't put me in any position unless I allow it. The more people disregard my health, comfort, mental health, morals and choices, the more I feel free to ignore them, minimize contact, or cut them off. If Aunt Edna can't get over it that I don't attend Cousin Steve's wedding, that's HER problem. Not mine.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2020 20:10     Subject: My Brother is Insisting on Having His September Wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In DC area. 200 people invited. Wedding inside a hotel ballroom. They have said already 100 people have said they will come. They are having special masks made for the happy hour that have a straw hole in them. But, no masks for dinner obviously? “Dancing boxes” with only one couple per box.
My 75 year old father is insistent on going and taking part in all activities. 70 year old mother undecided. Brother says he needs “closure on his engagement” and that a church wedding is a supposed requirement for his brides family. All of brides family is coming.
Am I nuts to be annoyed? I am in one of the states with high rise of cases, in high rise profession. I hate my parents are being put in this position. It’s causing serious familial drama and stress.


Your brother is an idiot as is his lovely bride.

This is ridiculous, selfish and they are truly not ready to be married.

Exactly. They sound young and immature which means their marriage likely won’t last and then folks will have to wonder if the risk was worth the benefit. So many stupid people out there which is why we are still stuck in this mess.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2020 16:00     Subject: My Brother is Insisting on Having His September Wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People have the right to make their own decisions. If you dont feel safe, you dont have to go. If your parents want to go because he is their son and they think it is worth the small risk, they can go.

Its one of the things I hate about all of this. We are acting like the elderly are like pets we have to protect. Im sure your parents are smart people who understand the choice they are making. Believe it or not, for some, seeing their son get married might just be worth taking this risk. Im sure they know nobody would blame them if they responded that they were not able to go and would i stead have a zoom call later that night in celebration, but I bet for them they think its worth it to be there in person. You need to support them on this.

Just stop it. Public health is not about individual choice. That's not how it works. This is irresponsible at every level, including the VA government that is allowing this gathering to happen. It could affect OP, her family, and everyone they come in contact with...which may well be many posters on this forum.

It's truly maddening, because this "let individuals make their own choices" mentality is why we're in this mess in the first place. There are some decisions that have to be made collectively, and that's the reason we have an elected government...so people have a say in who gets to make collective decisions.


Well then it shouldn’t be allowed- if these places are open and large gatherings are allowed, they will happen. The government needs to take more responsibility for public health rather than leaving it up to individuals to make these decisions!! Because clearly we cannot be relied on to make the correct ones every time.
Shoot- 50% would be generous. People are dumb animals
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2020 15:56     Subject: Re:My Brother is Insisting on Having His September Wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your brother is selfish, and none of that sounds fun (dancing boxes?). Masks with holes in them will not work. And one can get married in a church without a huge reception.

I’m sorry your parents aren’t listening to reason. I hope you can get them to change their minds about participating.


OP here- of course I’m one of the only ones in healthcare but my dad in particular is not concerned about the risk. It is SO stressful and I would never forgive my brother if something happened to my parents.


Because he held a gun to their back and frog-marched them into the reception?

Your parents are grown-ass adults and are fully responsible for their own choices. Stop infantilizing them.


OMG on every thread! Life is not black and white- yes, you can put someone in a "position" without physically harming them
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2020 14:59     Subject: My Brother is Insisting on Having His September Wedding
No, letting individuals make their own decisions is not a great way to control a pandemic, but it is what it is, with the current leadership.

If I was over 60, I wouldn't go. If I had a preexisting condition or anyone I lived with did, I wouldn't go. If I had to fly I wouldn't go. Not worth it. Can watch the wedding streaming.

Thank goodness the church they are getting married in has some sense and limited the service to 10 people.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2020 13:57     Subject: My Brother is Insisting on Having His September Wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People have the right to make their own decisions. If you dont feel safe, you dont have to go. If your parents want to go because he is their son and they think it is worth the small risk, they can go.

Its one of the things I hate about all of this. We are acting like the elderly are like pets we have to protect. Im sure your parents are smart people who understand the choice they are making. Believe it or not, for some, seeing their son get married might just be worth taking this risk. Im sure they know nobody would blame them if they responded that they were not able to go and would i stead have a zoom call later that night in celebration, but I bet for them they think its worth it to be there in person. You need to support them on this.

Just stop it. Public health is not about individual choice. That's not how it works. This is irresponsible at every level, including the VA government that is allowing this gathering to happen. It could affect OP, her family, and everyone they come in contact with...which may well be many posters on this forum.

It's truly maddening, because this "let individuals make their own choices" mentality is why we're in this mess in the first place. There are some decisions that have to be made collectively, and that's the reason we have an elected government...so people have a say in who gets to make collective decisions.


Well then it shouldn’t be allowed- if these places are open and large gatherings are allowed, they will happen. The government needs to take more responsibility for public health rather than leaving it up to individuals to make these decisions!! Because clearly we cannot be relied on to make the correct ones every time.