Whenever somebody says to me “I was X and I turned out fine”... I wonder how somebody grew up with so little self perspective/self concept.

I love the, "I was spanked, and I turned out fine." Honey, everyone else hates ya! Just kidding. But seriously, you turned out fine compared to who - the other hypothetical you that was never spanked and who you keep an ongoing comparison of psychological and physical health with? "I turned out fine" unfortunately is not really a comment that the individual making it is qualified to make.

We don’t hit each other in my house. We don’t hit people we love and care about.

We spank for repeated defiance, or the kind of situation where they’re not staying in timeout, or just not listening at all. It’s not in anger, we’ll usually go their room to do it and explain why they’re going to be spanked. Then they’re turned over the lap and spanked.

I can KIND OF understand and empathize with the otherwise calm and collected parent who loses their cool with their kid a handful of times over the course of a childhood and impulsively smacks their behind. But what I REALLY don’t get is the parents who regularly and intentionally use physical discipline as a means of punishment. Like “if you do X you get a spanking” type stuff. That’s gross to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t the purpose of spanking to hurt a kid? I would never want my kid to think I was intentionally hurting them.

What’s the purpose of any punishment?

Uh, when my kids get punished, it is most certainly not to *hurt* them. That sounds like the logic of a 13 year old girl trying to get back at her friends for doing something she didn’t like.

I was spanked. Because my mother couldn’t control herself. I still see that ugliness in her - she couldn’t control herself, a grown adult with two children - enough to not hit a defenseless child. She slapped us. She pumped liquid soap into our mouths. She was a lousy parent. I remember it all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t plan on doing it- and I was. I believe a lot of spanking is cultural- I dare you to find an Asian kid that wasn’t spanked. Generallly, I find that most kids that did not grow up in the US, were spanked and that the stigma isn’t what it is here.

This nails it (and hilarious):
https://youtu.be/uwbc_v1xBAU

And in many other developed countries, including European countries, it is illegal to spank your children.

Doesn't mean it isn't done. DH is French. Him and his siblings, all spanked, as well as his cousins. We also spend many of our summers there with family and it is not uncommon to see it in public... "La fessée." Maybe new parents today don't, but my husband's generation it was pretty common (we are in our 30s), per him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I spank my kids but unfortunately its not accepted by mainstream society. It probably stopped when millennials were young. Such a shame.

If you look at surveys, it’s still widely used. There was even one a couple years ago showing a slight increase in support among Millenials compared to the previous generation. (I’m a Millenial)

Yes, and the average IQ is 100. And?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t the purpose of spanking to hurt a kid? I would never want my kid to think I was intentionally hurting them.

What’s the purpose of any punishment?

Good parents do not punish; they discipline.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you do not want your kids to ever hit anyone, you should not hit them. It is one of the few issues that is quite clear to me...and I was spanked as a child by otherwise excellent parents. I think it is a loss of control by the parents rather than any kind of discipline.

+1

And let’s call it what it is: hitting. “Spanking” is a euphemism for hearing.

If I hit my next-door neighbor, that constitutes assault. I don’t know why it’s any different when we hit children, other than that we live in a barbaric country in various respects.

Also, the comment that “I was hit and I am fine” is meaningless. I’m sure you didn’t ride in a car seat, either, and you were probably exposed to secondhand smoke, but that doesn’t make it OK.

Here we go with the arguments of the half wits. If I force my neighbor to sit in a time out chair, or carry her off to her bedroom and hold the door shut, it’s definitely called something, perhaps abduction, assault, illegal confinement. If I take away her iPhone or favorite toy, it’s larceny. If I force her to take off her clothes and get in the bath tub, it’s possible sexual assault. I don’t know why it’s any different when we do those things to children.

Are you that stupid?

Lol. Are YOU that stupid?

We spank for specific and what we consider to be severe transgressions, such as intentional destruction of property (example: pulling up the carpet in your room). I make sure I'm not angry enough to be out of control, otherwise DH handles. After about age 6, I consider them to be too old to spank and old enough to be more rational such that a physical punishment isn't needed. My daughter got herself spanked probably 10-20 times in her life. My son has only gotten spanked 2 or 3 times. Different personalities, different behaviors.

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t the purpose of spanking to hurt a kid? I would never want my kid to think I was intentionally hurting them.

What’s the purpose of any punishment?

Isn’t the purpose of spanking to hurt a kid? I would never want my kid to think I was intentionally hurting them.

Anonymous wrote:Never. If you don’t think it’s abuse you’re deluding yourself.

There are legal criteria for this term. It’s not a matter of your opinion.