Anonymous wrote:Depends where you live. Big city? Probably 3. Small town somewhere on a farm? 5

I had four, then moved from the farm the the city. It’s been a rough transition.

I lost my support network, my husband is home all of the time doing the job we moved here for, my job has completely changed, and people are wierdly judgemental about the number of kids I have.

Depends where you live. Big city? Probably 3. Small town somewhere on a farm? 5

4

I came from a family of six kids. I don’t care what other people thought- it was the best part of my childhood.

The 4th kid is where I draw the line

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anything over 3 is a lot.

+1

+1. At 4 kids, I know I won't have anything in common with you. More than 4 and I assume you are a religious weirdo.

I think anything over 3 is selfish, so yes weird

I recently had my fourth and I’m done! It was definitely my choice and I’m happy but it is chaotic given the oldest is only 7. We can afford four and I’m a SAHM and we make it work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Six in childhood at the same time generally (not always, but more than people admit) means the parents are relying on the older kids to be pseudo-parents and help out more than is probably developmentally appropriate. Even if you love your siblings, often the loss of your own childhood leads to lasting resentment.

I definitely do not feel like I lost my childhood and have no resentment. I never looked at myself as parenting my siblings, either. If that's the case, every person who sends their child off to daycare, or has a nanny is not parenting or raising their children, either.

Sure. It's not universal, just common. See the caveat above.

Anonymous wrote:Six in childhood at the same time generally (not always, but more than people admit) means the parents are relying on the older kids to be pseudo-parents and help out more than is probably developmentally appropriate. Even if you love your siblings, often the loss of your own childhood leads to lasting resentment.

I definitely do not feel like I lost my childhood and have no resentment. I never looked at myself as parenting my siblings, either. If that's the case, every person who sends their child off to daycare, or has a nanny is not parenting or raising their children, either.

Anonymous wrote:Even 3. All the parents of 3 complain incessantly and try to pawn their kids off on others.

Except they say that it takes a village to raise kids.. except they are never the ones to offer help. I get so tired of the requests for carpooling and they don't do their share or don't realize their share is more with more kids. If I have one kid, you are asking me to drive your 2-3, you should do it 2-3 times as much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Six in childhood at the same time generally (not always, but more than people admit) means the parents are relying on the older kids to be pseudo-parents and help out more than is probably developmentally appropriate. Even if you love your siblings, often the loss of your own childhood leads to lasting resentment.

Especially the oldest girl. My mom was the oldest girl in a family of 6.

Yes. ANd it's hard to talk about, because -- they are your siblings, and of course you want to help. But it's not fair. If parents want more children, they should be planning to parent those children themselves.

I think if you have any more than 3 intentionally then you’ve ventured into weirdo territory. Even having 3 is enough to make you a weirdo depending on your circumstances.

IRL depends on your location but on dcum ideal is 2 or 3 (allowing for twins)

Anonymous wrote:Six in childhood at the same time generally (not always, but more than people admit) means the parents are relying on the older kids to be pseudo-parents and help out more than is probably developmentally appropriate. Even if you love your siblings, often the loss of your own childhood leads to lasting resentment.

Especially the oldest girl. My mom was the oldest girl in a family of 6.