Different doctors, at least in my case. My husband is attracted to our mutual female doctor, whom I found. That’s fine BUT he and I were having communication issues which became heated. At his latest annual exam, he discussed this with her amd she suggested I may be hard of hearing and wanted him to attend my annual the following week. I had a woman’s minor issue I planned on addressing plus my hearing is fine. He was forceful on attending my apt which I would have canceled before sharing my time. He crossed a line which made me feel like a child. I went without him, she gave me a hearing test which I told him I would gladly do without him there, then she gave me a cognitive exam, which I passed. I would love to have him have the same tests but then I would be crossing the line. This cannot be discussed as he thinks he is always correct. We are more separated mentally than ever now and I’m fine with that. Thoughts anyone?

Spouse and I have the same physician. It’s not an issue whatsoever.

My wife and I have the same OB. It’s worked out fine.

Anonymous wrote:Not a spousal relationship but my dad started going to my cardiologist and I'm not a fan of it. I had started seeing him first (for a heart valve issue I was born with) and don't want to switch because it's a 20 year long dr-patient relationship that just works well because we're on the same page re testing etc. He's a great dr so in that sense yeah I want dad to go there. But as my parents have aged they're a major source of stress for me (in large part due to their anxiety which they drop onto their kids like candy or something). So the cardiologist asks me about lifestyle/stress and I say everything is fine -- because I don't feel like I should say yeah my dad has health anxiety, mom tries to be the reasonable one but sometimes can't take it and gets sucked into it and then they dump it on me and I have palpitations . . . . I mean I guess I COULD tell him that but who knows how he'd relay it back to my dad nor would I ever want him to write off anything my dad tells him as "oh it's just anxiety NBD" -- he isn't that type of dr but you never know; meanwhile dad thinks he's not anxious at all and his family should just be available for his feelings at the drop of a hat).

You're lying to your doctor because you're assuming that he would be unethical? If you really think that, YOU should leave that practice and get your dad out of there too.

and Yes -- you should provide accurate info/feelings re your parents to the doc and yes, the doc should know now to process it and use it to the benefit of all his patients.

Anonymous wrote:In my case, it has been really bad for me. My wife has disagreed with every doctor. And after a few years, leaves the practice....for her it is not a big deal. She has no known chronic medical issues. I, in spite of a 20% lower BMI, have worse genes, and have high cholesterol (treated), diabetes, heart disease, and am a cancer survivor. We are both in the mid 50's. The problem is when she has a fight, she expects me to follow. I need continuity of care.

Then…don’t change doctors. That’s pretty simple. If my husband said he “expected” me to change doctors for no reason concerning me I’d laugh in his face.

Anonymous wrote:I guess it could be a problem in some instances. Say you’re fooling around and you get the clap or something, that could put the doctor in an awkward position.

No it doesn’t. At all. Because we have laws. Maybe worry less about what your doctor might think and more about actually getting the clap from being a cheating cheater who cheats.

How often do you see your PCP? DH and I have the same doctor and its not like we're hanging out at her office; I think we each see her maybe twice a year. No clue if she knows we're married. Even if we saw her more often and she knew we were a married couple, why would that matter? DH is the one that knows all my medical crap.

DH and I have the same PCP. She knows we’re married but never brings it up, and neither do we. There was literally one time DH asked me to check and see if the results of his sleep study had come in, and as soon as I mentioned it she said, “Oh yes! I’m sorry, I do have those; I’ll call him today.”

Like, she is respectful that we come in as individuals, and we would never dream of saying, “Hey can you ask DH to lose 10 pounds” or any such nonsense.

My husband and I have had the same physician 1st for several years, an older doctor with lots of experience and then when he retired we both had our current physician, about 4 years now out of residency. We have been okay with him but it is hard to explain, but not the same type of medicine we used to have. This latest physician is now moving to another state and my husband and I were assigned by the Mega hospital system to two different doctors. I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that. I looked up both doctors. One is older age 69 with years of experience but could retire sooner than later, the other is about 6 yrs out of med school and 3 yrs out of residency. The latter may be just fine, but I have found that older physicians were trained at a time when medicine was practiced by the physician and not by a computer. Because my husband went to med school before the modern computer era, I know there are differences and being older ourselves we are partial to the previous medical philosophies. I plan to talk with my husband when he gets home. we also have a mutual friend who is an internist and if she is accepting patients we could ask her, but since we have been with in the University system, it is a difficult decision to go elsewhere. I know family physicians seem to be a thing of the past, which is unfortunate, but even so I think we like the idea of us both having the same MD.

Any thoughts?

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have the same doctor. My parents had the same doctor. Doctors have a gazillion patients, I doubt they remember any details.

I'm guessing all those people living in rural areas with only one medical practice all share the same doctor.

We do, ever since we moved to this area in 2007. Its not been an issue, but we don’t tell the doctor anything we don’t tell each other. Even if we did, I trust the doctor.

DH and I have the same doctor. My parents had the same doctor. Doctors have a gazillion patients, I doubt they remember any details.

It seems to me that it depends on the disease with which you and your husband come to the doctor. If your diseases are somehow connected, then it is obvious that treatment by one specialist will be much more effective. For example, my husband and I had problems conceiving for a long time, and we both turned to a good doctor at https://www.alveda.life/, who examined us both and quickly identified the problem. If you are applying for different diseases, then I think it is best, of course, to go to different doctors, although this also depends on how you feel psychologically when both of you are treated by one doctor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So...you tested positive for STDs recently and didn't tell your wife because you don't have sex with her?

Would the dr have any ethical obligations in a case like this to reveal to the spouse that they might be at risk?

Nope.

Anonymous wrote:DH's doctor is also FIL's doctor and a family friend of theirs. I don't want to go to a doctor that I'll also have to encounter socially.

Well, that I understand.