Anonymous wrote:Nothing.

Anonymous wrote:Preschool children don't see race

Anonymous wrote:I have made a point to have normal children’s book that feature everyday children and families that happen to be black. We also have books that talk about skin color, “Whoever you Are” by mem fox and All The Colors We Are by Katie Kissinger. We have multiple black baby dolls/doll house people/ LEGO friends etc... when we have the opportunity to have the imaginary play represent the world we live in, I consciously include both. I chose to give my business to people of color, particularly women, for example our pediatrician.

Anonymous wrote:DD is turning 3 in about 2 weeks and we are not having direct conversations with her, because frankly she would not understand. We don't live in a very diverse neighborhood and nearly all of her friends are white. Her favorite babysitter is black but otherwise she does not have much exposure at this age. I'm aware that may sound a little cringe-y but aside from actively going out to find her black friends I'm not sure how to correct this until she goes to school.

At this point, we are reading books that feature a diverse group of people (She Persisted, She Persisted Around The World, This Little Trailblazer and Just Ask are our favorites) and make a point to get library books that feature a diverse group of characters.

What else can we be doing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That some bad people will generally use whatever they can against other people, and race and gender are most visible and thus easiest targets. You need to know that none of it is true, instead it's mean people trying to take things from other people however they can.

When he's older, we'll get into the specifics of history as well as the positive stories of overcoming oppression. We are eastern european/jewish so lots of family history as well.

I appreciate you talking to your kids about this and I don't mean to pick on your post. But I wonder if framing this in terms of 'bad people' is part of the issue. We all have unconscious biases that affect our thoughts and actions but that doesn't make all of us bad people. It's important to learn to recognize those unconscious biases so you can consciously try to counteract them. I'm not saying that this should be a discussion with a small child, but I am saying that framing it in terms of bad people misses a lot of what we experience and it causes decent people who would never use the N word assume that none of this applies to them.

You are not wrong, we are definitely all biased, but the fact is that people also use things like race and gender against other people consciously and specifically to benefit themselves. It is a systemic, central issue. It’s not some externality/unintended consequence. It’s conscious and tactical. I want / need my kid to know that. Biases occur in addition to, not instead of, intentional repression. I need to stop typing before is start rambling about Kant’s categorical imperative (humans have an inate ability to know right from wrong; they don't need the Bible or some other authority to spell it out for them; and it is our obligation to rely on this internal moral compass in our actions).

i'm the PP, keep thinking that i need to explain myself, because i don't mean to contradict you. I just saw a clip by Trevor Noah from May 29 and around minute 3 is basically what I'm talking about https://www.facebook.com/thedailyshow/

Anonymous wrote:DD is turning 3 in about 2 weeks and we are not having direct conversations with her, because frankly she would not understand. We don't live in a very diverse neighborhood and nearly all of her friends are white. Her favorite babysitter is black but otherwise she does not have much exposure at this age. I'm aware that may sound a little cringe-y but aside from actively going out to find her black friends I'm not sure how to correct this until she goes to school.

At this point, we are reading books that feature a diverse group of people (She Persisted, She Persisted Around The World, This Little Trailblazer and Just Ask are our favorites) and make a point to get library books that feature a diverse group of characters.

What else can we be doing?

Anonymous wrote:I love some of the suggestions here. I’m Asian and DH is white but kids definitely look more Asian. I think it’s never too young to lay the foundation for kids to celebrate diversity (instead of focusing on racism.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care what others say. We definitely did not discuss this with preschoolers. I’d say we started maybe around 2nd grade with each of them and even then just in small doses. Some of this is really traumatic. Children are allowed to be children - they don’t need the weight of the world just yet. And yes I know some children don’t have the “privilege” of not knowing about this. That is true. But all kinds of people have different life experiences. I’m not moving to the slums of India just because some people have to live that way. Flame away.

RIGHT?!? Agree.

I did order a bunch more diverse books though.

Black children are not afforded the same luxury. They are actually LIVING all of this. You aren't even willing to have age appropriate but honest conversations with your kids? Racism is not something that can be solved by black people alone. It will continue to persist so long as white people like you refuse to acknowledge that this is their problem too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That some bad people will generally use whatever they can against other people, and race and gender are most visible and thus easiest targets. You need to know that none of it is true, instead it's mean people trying to take things from other people however they can.

When he's older, we'll get into the specifics of history as well as the positive stories of overcoming oppression. We are eastern european/jewish so lots of family history as well.

I appreciate you talking to your kids about this and I don't mean to pick on your post. But I wonder if framing this in terms of 'bad people' is part of the issue. We all have unconscious biases that affect our thoughts and actions but that doesn't make all of us bad people. It's important to learn to recognize those unconscious biases so you can consciously try to counteract them. I'm not saying that this should be a discussion with a small child, but I am saying that framing it in terms of bad people misses a lot of what we experience and it causes decent people who would never use the N word assume that none of this applies to them.

You are not wrong, we are definitely all biased, but the fact is that people also use things like race and gender against other people consciously and specifically to benefit themselves. It is a systemic, central issue. It’s not some externality/unintended consequence. It’s conscious and tactical. I want / need my kid to know that. Biases occur in addition to, not instead of, intentional repression. I need to stop typing before is start rambling about Kant’s categorical imperative (humans have an inate ability to know right from wrong; they don't need the Bible or some other authority to spell it out for them; and it is our obligation to rely on this internal moral compass in our actions).