i would not do it

My 10 yr old DD takes private music lessons in the home of a male instructor. I get a babysitter for my other 2 younger children so I can sit in the living room and wait for her. I can’t see them, but I on the same level and can hear what is going on. I’m not paranoid anything will happen, but I think having her in his house with me not in the house would be too isolating and she would have no “out” if things got uncomfortable.

Teachers will often require a parent to sit in on the lesson to prevent false accusations.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if it's normal. I would not set up a son or daughter to be in a private room for lessons with a male instructor. If by private you mean neither audible nor visible to anyone else.

Same.

OMG- as a young adult I tried private guitar lessons for the first time and it was so uncomfortable to be in a room with my male teacher alone. We were inches apart in a tiny room-knees practically touching. And music is somewhat... intimate. It's expressive and about how your hands move. So awkward. He was a perfect gentleman but I still wasn't at ease. Can't imagine how a little girl might feel...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not normal. My kids would tell me if the guy did something creepy.

Are you sure? I never told my parents because I was a) too embarrassed b) afraid they would blame me and c) afraid my father would end up in jail because I knew he would probably kill the guy.

I had a great relationship with my parents and my reason b was unfounded, but I still feared it.... who can explain the brain of a 8-12 y old?

This. And, even though my parents told me to tell them, I was worried of their reaction. One time I did tell them of a creepy uncle but they kept inviting him. I kept my distance. Eventually when I got to college I was clear I wasn't coming home if he was invited to thanksgiving so they stopped.

Anonymous wrote:Not normal. My kids would tell me if the guy did something creepy.

Are you sure? I never told my parents because I was a) too embarrassed b) afraid they would blame me and c) afraid my father would end up in jail because I knew he would probably kill the guy.

I had a great relationship with my parents and my reason b was unfounded, but I still feared it.... who can explain the brain of a 8-12 y old?

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not normal. Just paranoid.

It is absolutely not paranoid. I had a slimeball male piano teacher who definitely took advantage of his position and how intimate piano was. The way he touched me and sat just too close to me was really gross. It was not professional I always felt icky and hated going to piano. My mom took me out after a few classes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As mentioned by a pp, pedophiles tend to gravitate towards jobs where they are alone with children. A large majority of pedophiles are male.

I would not put my children in a situation where they were alone in a room with an adult male. It defies logic.

I have hired male instructors, tutors, etc. but I would stay close by.

You're using the same logic to prohibit your teenage sons from having female teachers, right?

You failed logic in school right? Did I mention teachers? The discussion was about private lessons - meaning one-on-one instruction.

Of course my kids have both male and female teachers. My kids are not alone with either gender teachers. They are with other students. Our schools have a buddy systems where students are never to be left alone with adults.

You failed logic in school right? Female teachers often have sex with underage students even though they are not (or are not supposed to be) in a one-on-one situation. Therefore not being "one on one" does not protect a boy from female abuse and your feeling that "not being alone with teachers" protects them is false.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a parent of boys so I understand how they may be perceived one day which is unfortunate. But I still ask for only female teachers. I do let them for swim class have a male teacher but not fond of it. Statisticallly speaking, males are more likely to abuse. Not women can’t either, but that’s my thought. I don’t know if it’s the norm. But I am not surprised if I heard this. It’s not shocking actually.

Statistics: "males are more likely to abuse"

Also statistics: "any particular male is extremely unlikely to abuse"

But everyone picks their preferred statistics.

Incidentally, if you take statistics about "the group is more likely to" and apply that to how you treat individuals, we call that "racism" when the group in question is blacks.