We have a second home, and my husband loves it—but I’d just as soon rent and not have to worry about maintenance and upkeep. With the amount we spend on taxes, insurance, lawn care, painting and repairs, cleaning and more, we could rent an incredible house for two months, and all the hassles would be someone else’s problem the rest of the year.

We have a second home. It isn't huge and fancy, in fact it is downright small and humble, but we love it. We're down on the Northern Neck. We can get there in 2-3 hours depending on traffic. Yesterday I drove down a bunch of our kids, set them up with their dad, and then drove back in time to make dinner at home for the kids who stayed and their grandpa.

People talk about costs and those can be out-of-control for certain types of properties. We bought ours with my sister and her husband. The total cost was less than $90k about 12+ years ago. We have some local women come in to clean once a month and their husbands cut the grass. The bills we pay are electric, propane (heat), septic cleaning and taxes. It is on the water with killer views, a sandy beach, a dock for swimming off of and enough water depth for different types of boats. There is 1 (one!!!) bathroom. It was the best choice we ever made. Our kids treasure the experiences with us, with their cousins, with the friends they've made in the community.

For price-value, we got a great deal. We would not have had the same price-value if we had purchased elsewhere. We made a purposeful choice not to buy in a beach resort because we didn't want that lifestyle and we didn't want to get caught up in a weird competition with school acquaintances and neighbors. I think we are much happier because we went low-key. But you have to be happy with your choice. I think that for some people our second home might not right. They might be embarrassed because it is small and because it isn't filled with the latest and greatest finishes. Heck, the house has about 8 different types of linoleum and some of it is on the walls (!!!). For us that is charming; for others maybe not so much. Regardless it is our heaven away from home.

OP, it is my opinion that you have to decide what you really want. We bought hamburger with a hamburger budget and we're thrilled because it feels like we got filet mignon. I can tell you that there are lots of opportunities like ours out there if you're flexible. Just watch that tv show Beach Front Bargain Hunt (or whatever it is called) on HGTV. OTH if you are deadest on resort living then, yes, you're going to have to figure out how to afford the $1.5M price tag for one of those huge 20 room beach houses. They're lovely but they aren't our thing. If they are yours, then go for it!

Great full I don’t have two homes to care for.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of my siblings nor I have a second home and we can’t imagine wanting one given how infrequently we would use one. It would sit empty 90% of the time unless we rented it out but I don’t like the idea of strangers living in my home. My parents didn’t have a second home until they turned 60 and retired. Where we live the summer is really nice so leaving doesn’t make any sense.

So what? It's there when you want it and forces you to build equity instead of blowing money of trips and whatever else. If second homes were really such money pits nobody would have them. They obviously a wise way to save and build assets, while also offering an enjoyable escape when needed.

Not everyone wants to go to the same place all the time.

They’re a huge time/money suck and people who have them have to make it seem otherwise else they look like suckers. Don’t believe the hype.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No second home for me. I’d rather take that mortgage and time and travel the world!

I'd rather build equity in a second home than leave photos to my children and grandchildren (which they'll just put in boxes in storage) from travel "experiences".

Well, why are you putting "experiences" in quotes. Just because you don't value it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. We traveled enough to have fond memories today! And that helps us get through this pandemic.

OP, the grass is always greener. My parents have a second home—they inherited it, would not have purchased otherwise. It’s lovely but they aren’t there now because it is in the middle of nowhere, easily an hour round trip drive for a gallon of milk, and it would be an awful place to get COVID and need health care. They are in their early 70s and spend a lot of their “vacation” time on upkeep...and they never go anywhere else.

Fortunately my sister wants it. If I inherited it, I would sell it in a hot minute.

Anonymous wrote:With seemingly everyone who has one gone from their main residence right now, anyone else feel this way? Be honest.

Because honestly, this week I can't stop feeling "poor" (not literally, relatively) because we don't have a place to escape to. Relying on whimsical invites to friends' and family vacation homes at this point in our life just feels so low and desperate. I don't care how much or how little financial sense it makes, we need a second home. I'm so over being trapped at home all year, fishing for invitations, or even renting for a week at a time. Perhaps this is the precise feeling that motivates so many to buy a second home?

When you have a second home people will be "fishing" for you. It can get tiring as my MIL would attest is part of the reason she sold her second home. Remember people only post the positive. They aren't going to tell you about the annoying people who want to visit or the taxes they have to pay or anything that went wrong with the house when not there. They will tell you the good stuff so you are jealous!

Personally I think the downside of a second home is more than the upside. Unless you live close to it that you can use it frequently and it is too small for guests.


Btw, stop fishing for invitations! Be a grown-up and pay for your vacations!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re selling ours. It’s a time and money drain. I spend half the time there either doing work or scheduling people to come out to do work. Due to kids’ sports and activities, we don’t use it enough to justify the expense. And, finally, I’d rather travel than go to our weekend home.

This was us exactly! I miss it about one or two times a year ( usually after we visit friends who still have a place.) Love not having the responsibility or guilt for not using it very much, and enjoy traveling again.

Time suck and money pit.

Generally second home areas don't appreciate like regular towns/cities because the second home areas are built with low quality houses/condos.

So many DC’ers have second homes in Rehobeth or OCMD and I find both of those places to be second or third rate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a second home for ten years. I was so glad to see it sell -- I thought the kids would have happy memories of the place, they sort of did, but it would have been far better to have a different vacation each year, so each would be unique and memorable on the individual merits. A little more work to keep finding a new vacation but that is the fun part. Paying the bills all year or trying to rent it out between times was NOT the fun part. Driving there every time was not the fun part. Cleaning the place and taking trash to the dump after every trip was NOT the fun part.
It was a wasteful expense and I would never do it again, pandemic or not.

I second this, just sold my beach home that we never rented. All told, expenses ran at least $75,000 a year, we maybe used it 3 weeks a year. So glad we unloaded it. Looking forward to just being a renter!

Even if you employ the local cleaners the local cleaners clean worth crap in the second home areas so it is common for the owners to spend a lot of time cleaning between rentals or after rentals of the second home.

Anonymous wrote:Look at the front page of the New York Times today and than maybe you’ll get a grip.
Shout out to all the nurse and doctors on the front lines. My heart aches for what you must see at each shift. Bless you all.

+1

Then read Peggy Noman’s column in Saturday’s WSJ

Anonymous wrote:No way. I grew up with a second home within driving distance and even as a teen I realized what a pain it was. Every service you use at home needs to happen at the second home too and never mind worrying about the pipes breaking when you're not there and other things that are a problem when you live there and a disaster when you don't. There's always something at the other house that you need. The primary house was broken into when it was vacant because we were at the second house.

Generally the owners of the second home, particularly in the Rehoboth, Bethany, and OC areas end up spending there time deep cleaning the second home between renters because the cleaning services in those areas clean like crap. You are always replacing things in the second home too that get broken and stolen.

Anonymous wrote:Everybody I know who has escaped to a second home does not own it. It is owned by a family member (usually their parents).

+1

Everybody I know who has escaped to a second home does not own it. It is owned by a family member (usually their parents).