Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 15:43     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD is interested in going into a very specific major. Researching schools in advance, we both thought one particular school would be “perfect” for her. Our experience with the school including the virtual visit was so bad that she’s thinking of not applying. On paper the university sounds great and has great reviews.

I’m just trying to reconcile this in my head with I am reading with what we experienced. We tried to make an appointment to visit the University back in Jan (pre-COVID). We started off on the wrong foot because we wanted to meet with an academic advisor in the department my DD will be majoring in. I called and got a very snippy receptionist who told us who to contact. DD contacted and didn’t hear back for a week. DD sent a follow up message requesting a meeting. Person setting up meeting with academic advisor made DD feel like she was impatient. FWIW- all the other schools she set up meetings with got back with her Within 24 to 48 hours. Due to COVID visit was understandably cancelled. They offered a virtual tour. It was horrible. The AV was poor, they had technical difficulties and we were unimpressed with the admission rep. We met with the academic advisor later and she cut of off and was downright rude. My daughter was in tears after the virtual visit.

I’m sure if I posted the name of the school people here would say that’s an amazing school For the major- yet our experience was anything but. The school went from being a top choice for DD to I don’t think I should apply.

I am just wondering if others had similar experiences with colleges letting them down pre-admissions but applied anyway and went. My thought is if they can’t treat DD well when she’s a prospective student, why should I think they will treat her any differently if she were to be accepted?



This is going to sound more harsh than it is meant, but your post reeks of entitlement. Universities are not structured or staffed to respond to the whims and demands of prospective students. Advisors and professors have their hands full serving their current students. No way they can also serve tens of thousands of needy prospective students. And then to cry after a poorly executed virtual visit in the middle of a global pandemic? That's some serious snowflake behavior. I would suggest telling your DD to put on her big girl pants, and make a decision based on bigger picture factors and not whether the school catered to her scheduling wishes and had slick AV.


This. Please don't apply to my school - your family sounds needy. Some semesters I teach 100 students, many of whom require frequent meetings outside of classes. Depending on admin assignments, I may also advise undergraduates in my major - which again requires frequent meetings. I also advise several PhD students, which takes many hours of work each week. These students are my priority. Your high school student may or may not apply, and may or may not be accepted. You are asking me to donate my own private or research time to you and your family. Perhaps the other schools assign admin work to faculty specifically to deal with prospective students (perhaps because they are more in need of applicants) - in which case the faculty's schedule has specific time assigned for such tasks.


Not the PP to whom you're responding, but in all seriousness and without snark: Have you considered trying to move to a smaller college? Where you would not have 100-student classes, at least? Or is your research something that you feel only really can be done where you currently teach? Because all the undergrad and PhD advising and your very understandable protectiveness over your "private or research time" sound like things that are not contributing to making your academic career a source of fulfillment to you. Since we can't convey tone very well in posts, I'm adding that I really do not mean that as criticism. I just hear...stress.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 15:40     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again. The weird thing is at the moment that my DD LOVES her safety though that seems so cliché. While the safety has an okay academic reputation, the honors program which she will probably qualify for seems amazing. When we visited, we went on a special tour for kids applying to honors. We both felt like it was a place that she’s really fit in.


She goes where she thinks she will be happy. No question.


Trust your gut feeling.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 15:34     Subject: Re:Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
Anonymous wrote:Both my kids had negative reactions to schools that they liked on paper. And sometimes more positive reactions than expected. While we tried to separate things like not relating to the tour guide from other aspects of the school, sometimes you have to go with gut reactions. Part of this process is to narrow the list and OP it sounds like your DD has knocked a school off the list. Even if it's not for a rational reason (bad virtual tour), just move on.


DP just noting -- the bold is important and I don't want it to get lost among all the posts here talking about bad tours, etc.

Yep, some guides are stellar and others are duds, but it is important, as PP says, to try to separate the tour guide/tour quality from every other aspect of the school. We had two tours of the same college about 10 months apart (visited once pretty casually while in town, then later more seriously) and one tour was only so-so while the other was four-star, super enthusiastic, super informative. It really pointed up how the random selection of what student guide you land with on a given day can influence your views of the whole college.

With that said, gut reactions do really count, they just shouldn't be rooted solely in 90-minute campus walking tours and luck-of-the-draw tour guides. That's easier said than done, when one is talking to an impressionable high schooler, I know, but it's worth keeping in mind.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 15:33     Subject: Re:Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
Duquesne and Notre Dame both elicited "not getting out of the car" from different DCs.

Personally got harassed by some frat bros at Duke when visiting (after already have been admitted). Turned them down fast.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 15:31     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
Our family had the opposite experience there. To be honest, I was completely prepared to hate the place. DC and I were pleasantly surprised at its academic rigor, strong honor code and varied student life. I didn’t think any teetotalers existed there either but we met two.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 15:21     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
Washington & Lee. DS hated the tour and the visit. never applied.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 15:18     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
Anonymous wrote:You are making many poster's points. Faculty who are required to publish and get grants or lose their job, while teaching hundreds of students at a time, are under tremendous pressure. That translates into less time for students and less patience with teens who are still pretty wet behind the ears.

This is much less true for schools that stake their reputations on providing quality undergraduate experiences. It's just a different universe, with a different reward structure for faculty.

I am a researcher, who trained at Johns Hopkins, and I am constantly blown away by the experience my DC is having as an undergraduate at a second tier SLAC. One professor had his History of Cooking class over for dinner with his family to celebrate the end of the quarter, another took the Wildlife Society out "herping" (searching for reptiles and amphibians) on a Saturday night in the spring, they write numerous letters of recommendations for internships, read over important essays in advance of submitting applications, etc etc.

It has been a real eye opener.


New poster. Thank you, PP. You are giving a strong argument in favor of LACs/SLACs that focus on the undergraduate experience only. My DD is a freshman at a SLAC and the experience -- in just the semester and a half she's been on campus, cut short by the pandemic -- has been what you describe above. Professors are so very engaged with students there and students are seen and respected as individuals. I'm glad your own DC is having an excellent experience too.

I think many parents and high schoolers just do not understand that liberal arts colleges are not merely smaller institutions. Many parents and students don't quite get that LACs that do not have graduate programs are much better able to give undergraduates real attention and that can translate into a better educational experience.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 14:55     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
Had to chime in here. Our Princeton guide was terrible too.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 14:48     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
When we toured Bowdoin (which my child loved but did not get into), we ran into a professor who explained that they have SUCH a large endowment that teachers can carry a lighter teaching load than most colleges. That makes them less stressed, less likely to change universities and more generous with their time. The place resonated a student focus.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 14:42     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
Yes, some schools don't just see undergrads as a source of tuition dollars (they can use to build fancy labs), they are literally their raison d'etre.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 14:39     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
You are making many poster's points. Faculty who are required to publish and get grants or lose their job, while teaching hundreds of students at a time, are under tremendous pressure. That translates into less time for students and less patience with teens who are still pretty wet behind the ears.

This is much less true for schools that stake their reputations on providing quality undergraduate experiences. It's just a different universe, with a different reward structure for faculty.

I am a researcher, who trained at Johns Hopkins, and I am constantly blown away by the experience my DC is having as an undergraduate at a second tier SLAC. One professor had his History of Cooking class over for dinner with his family to celebrate the end of the quarter, another took the Wildlife Society out "herping" (searching for reptiles and amphibians) on a Saturday night in the spring, they write numerous letters of recommendations for internships, read over important essays in advance of submitting applications, etc etc.

It has been a real eye opener.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 14:30     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
PP can you tell me what school you work at? Id love to know since my DD shouldn’t apply there.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 14:09     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD is interested in going into a very specific major. Researching schools in advance, we both thought one particular school would be “perfect” for her. Our experience with the school including the virtual visit was so bad that she’s thinking of not applying. On paper the university sounds great and has great reviews.

I’m just trying to reconcile this in my head with I am reading with what we experienced. We tried to make an appointment to visit the University back in Jan (pre-COVID). We started off on the wrong foot because we wanted to meet with an academic advisor in the department my DD will be majoring in. I called and got a very snippy receptionist who told us who to contact. DD contacted and didn’t hear back for a week. DD sent a follow up message requesting a meeting. Person setting up meeting with academic advisor made DD feel like she was impatient. FWIW- all the other schools she set up meetings with got back with her Within 24 to 48 hours. Due to COVID visit was understandably cancelled. They offered a virtual tour. It was horrible. The AV was poor, they had technical difficulties and we were unimpressed with the admission rep. We met with the academic advisor later and she cut of off and was downright rude. My daughter was in tears after the virtual visit.

I’m sure if I posted the name of the school people here would say that’s an amazing school For the major- yet our experience was anything but. The school went from being a top choice for DD to I don’t think I should apply.

I am just wondering if others had similar experiences with colleges letting them down pre-admissions but applied anyway and went. My thought is if they can’t treat DD well when she’s a prospective student, why should I think they will treat her any differently if she were to be accepted?



This is going to sound more harsh than it is meant, but your post reeks of entitlement. Universities are not structured or staffed to respond to the whims and demands of prospective students. Advisors and professors have their hands full serving their current students. No way they can also serve tens of thousands of needy prospective students. And then to cry after a poorly executed virtual visit in the middle of a global pandemic? That's some serious snowflake behavior. I would suggest telling your DD to put on her big girl pants, and make a decision based on bigger picture factors and not whether the school catered to her scheduling wishes and had slick AV.


This. Please don't apply to my school - your family sounds needy. Some semesters I teach 100 students, many of whom require frequent meetings outside of classes. Depending on admin assignments, I may also advise undergraduates in my major - which again requires frequent meetings. I also advise several PhD students, which takes many hours of work each week. These students are my priority. Your high school student may or may not apply, and may or may not be accepted. You are asking me to donate my own private or research time to you and your family. Perhaps the other schools assign admin work to faculty specifically to deal with prospective students (perhaps because they are more in need of applicants) - in which case the faculty's schedule has specific time assigned for such tasks.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 13:59     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Had very unpleasant tour at a top ivy. The representative giving the introduction was snobby and off putting and "what can you do for us instead of what can we do for you".....central casting could not have done better. Student guide was fine.

Actually went back a second time because it is a top school and I did not want a poor quality tour to cross it off list unnecessarily. 2nd visit was better .

I think you have to look at the visits as just one piece of the puzzle. Can have a bad experience not really indicative of the school.


Princeton? Definitely got that vibe there


Seriously? The tour guides there were the most engaging and enthusiastic we ever encountered. They really love the place.
Anonymous
Post 05/12/2020 13:50     Subject: Did your kid not apply for to a college because of visit? Excellent School
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Had very unpleasant tour at a top ivy. The representative giving the introduction was snobby and off putting and "what can you do for us instead of what can we do for you".....central casting could not have done better. Student guide was fine.

Actually went back a second time because it is a top school and I did not want a poor quality tour to cross it off list unnecessarily. 2nd visit was better .

I think you have to look at the visits as just one piece of the puzzle. Can have a bad experience not really indicative of the school.


Princeton? Definitely got that vibe there


Did not like Princeton either. Off the list after the visit.