Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow. I should just buy cats and say goodbye to any chance of finding a normal well adjusted professional guy eh?

Nope. You could easily find someone. Your just need more realistic expectations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The UMC guys already got married to the rest of us.

What a self-serving b**ch you sound like?


Do you know the odds you will be widowed or divorced before all is said and done?

QUITE high.

So stop being so smug.

Shrug. Ok. It shouldn't be shocking news that the first people out of the dating pool are on average better looking, earn more, not crazy, etc.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Wow. I should just buy cats and say goodbye to any chance of finding a normal well adjusted professional guy eh?

That’s a little extreme. Do most UMC men in their 30s want to date you? No. Are most late 40s divorced men lower quality? Yes. That’s all

Anonymous wrote:The UMC guys already got married to the rest of us.

What a self-serving b**ch you sound like?


Do you know the odds you will be widowed or divorced before all is said and done?

QUITE high.

So stop being so smug.

OP here. Wow. I should just buy cats and say goodbye to any chance of finding a normal well adjusted professional guy eh?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, late 30s, when women ask me to set them up with my single friends, I have none that fit your description except one that is recently divorced with a young kid. I know a couple male middle class guys, making low 100s that are catches but shy so you may need to be more aggressive when you are out. All the attractive, charismatic men your age are married or cheating (or both).

But there are some, and I agree - club sports (softball is a good one) alumni networks including game day get togethers, I liked the golf suggestion.

Also agree you should expand your criteria and look for mid-40s divorced men

95% of these are men that cheated and are narcissists so they will charm and willingly convince you that it was the wife that cheated or the wife did not want sex.

I would be VERY careful entering into any relationship with divorced men 40 and over. You will be the next victim. 75% of second marriages end in divorce.

+100

If you have never been married, a divorced guy has serious issues and/or a ton of baggage.

Who wants to start out life as a step-parent and dealing with an ex-wife (for the rest of your life?).

UMC men don’t need dating apps. Simply existing and having money and a decently put together life on your mid 30s and beyond guarantees a solid success rate in relationships. Also most mid 30s UMC guys have no desire to date a woman in their 30s. You spend two years trying to figure out if this woman is worth marrying, another year getting a place together, marriage, and by the time you’re about ready to have a kid she’s 37 and needs fertility treatment. Also most divorced UMC guys don’t need or have the desire to date a divorced woman because the supply of never married 20s girls is too strong. I second other advice here that you need to be looking at late 40s. Divide their age by two and add seven. That very honestly is the age most men are looking for

Anonymous wrote:It's not common for UMC guys to even have "starter marriages"--that's a lower class/enlisted military thing.

Are you saying rich people don't have divorces? or infidelity?

I second the recommendation to try a different app - I personally had the best luck on Bumble. IMHO, it attracts people more serious about finding a relationship - Tinder has a reputation as a hookup app. Not saying it can't be the way to a relationship, but I feel like your odds are lower. And online dating is a total numbers game, at the end of the day. An additional plus of Bumble is that you get 1 or 2 free filters, so use them to your advantage to filter on education (i.e. College degree and above). I don't think there are similar filters on Tinder. I've found there to be quite a few mid-30s single, never married guys in DC. A lot of them are lawyers.

How are you defining UMC?

Anonymous wrote:Lots of people meet in their 30's and get married and have kids. OP, try changing the age range from 28-38. I'll likely get flamed for this, but there's something wrong with most guys who are pushing 40 and haven't been married yet.

Join events through either sports, religion, hobbies, etc. where you can meet men who like to do the same things you can. Ask your friends to set you up with guys. You have to approach this like a part-time job. It might take a while but hopefully one of the guys will work out. Good luck!

This I was at 27 with a Master’s unmarried and realizing I played around too much in grad school. I hadn’t made those connections. I made it a job to get a husband. I didn’t even last a year on the market.

Anonymous wrote:I am not trying to be snobby but I have been on Tinder and OKC and most of my matches are....not college educated and/or blue collar. Some of them are hot and smart. But I am looking for a longterm match with a 30something UMC guy with a professional job.

Is it my profile? What is going on?

The UMC guys all get married in their early 30’s which means they’re already in relationships. You missed the boat on first marriages - especially if you’re a woman in your 30’s. There will be a lot more available men in their 40’s when the divorces start.

They also don’t need dating sites to hookup.

Not really sure, OP. But I'm a guy and it seems like Tinder is full of broke chicks.

It's not common for UMC guys to even have "starter marriages"--that's a lower class/enlisted military thing.

The highest quality UMC guys are already married to women they met in high school, college, grad school, or at their first job.