Anonymous wrote:OP back again. It looks like we have some resolution... DH told me this afternoon that ILs decided not to come at all. Maybe it was more DH's wishful thinking that he could convince them to come. I spoke with my mom this morning, she and my ILs are same generation/same culture and she said "you can tell DH that your ILs can come because no way are they going to." Looks like Mom does know best.

As to the bigger picture of my DH's issues, yes, I'm aware of them, we've been married for 10 years. We were in couples therapy when sheltering in place began. He is 85% okay and 15% WTF crazy, but at least he's willing to go into therapy so hopefully, we can work with the 15% crazy.

Incidentally, I had no idea that infants were at greater risk of covid 19; last I heard was a few weeks ago when they were saying that there were no deaths and only mild symptoms for the under 10 lot. I thought that if our ILs came, we were putting all of the adults at risk, but I thought the kids would be okay. Never would I knowingly put my child at serious risk. And no, I don't compromise on the car seat, I make sure the kids are strapped in before we start driving. And now that we have a baby, DH sits in the front and no longer fiddles with car seat straps while I'm driving.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back again. It looks like we have some resolution... DH told me this afternoon that ILs decided not to come at all. Maybe it was more DH's wishful thinking that he could convince them to come. I spoke with my mom this morning, she and my ILs are same generation/same culture and she said "you can tell DH that your ILs can come because no way are they going to." Looks like Mom does know best.

As to the bigger picture of my DH's issues, yes, I'm aware of them, we've been married for 10 years. We were in couples therapy when sheltering in place began. He is 85% okay and 15% WTF crazy, but at least he's willing to go into therapy so hopefully, we can work with the 15% crazy.

Incidentally, I had no idea that infants were at greater risk of covid 19; last I heard was a few weeks ago when they were saying that there were no deaths and only mild symptoms for the under 10 lot. I thought that if our ILs came, we were putting all of the adults at risk, but I thought the kids would be okay. Never would I knowingly put my child at serious risk. And no, I don't compromise on the car seat, I make sure the kids are strapped in before we start driving. And now that we have a baby, DH sits in the front and no longer fiddles with car seat straps while I'm driving.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

They’re not. The only reason we hear about them in the news is that the infant deaths are huge outliers.

Anonymous wrote:OP back again. It looks like we have some resolution... DH told me this afternoon that ILs decided not to come at all. Maybe it was more DH's wishful thinking that he could convince them to come. I spoke with my mom this morning, she and my ILs are same generation/same culture and she said "you can tell DH that your ILs can come because no way are they going to." Looks like Mom does know best.

As to the bigger picture of my DH's issues, yes, I'm aware of them, we've been married for 10 years. We were in couples therapy when sheltering in place began. He is 85% okay and 15% WTF crazy, but at least he's willing to go into therapy so hopefully, we can work with the 15% crazy.

Incidentally, I had no idea that infants were at greater risk of covid 19; last I heard was a few weeks ago when they were saying that there were no deaths and only mild symptoms for the under 10 lot. I thought that if our ILs came, we were putting all of the adults at risk, but I thought the kids would be okay. Never would I knowingly put my child at serious risk. And no, I don't compromise on the car seat, I make sure the kids are strapped in before we start driving. And now that we have a baby, DH sits in the front and no longer fiddles with car seat straps while I'm driving.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I agree with most of what everyone is saying here. I think it is CRAZY that DH wants to bring his parents here. His parents might have covid by the time they get here and give it to us. We might be asymptomatic carriers and give it to them. DH says nope, none of us have it As to the newborn, what we last heard is that there were no deaths among infants and a rare case or two of deaths among young children and I think this is reducing DH's concern about our kids getting sick.

Like I said, DH has outlier ideas. He doesn't want our preschooler DD to use a carseat because "none of our parents did" and that "we just need to drive more safely." He actually gets mad at me for waiting until DD is buckled in to start driving and will secretly undo her straps to make her more comfortable.

But aside from having "unusual opinions," I think DH is desperately worried about his parents continuing to work and it's making him think not so rationally.

Anonymous wrote:OP back again. It looks like we have some resolution... DH told me this afternoon that ILs decided not to come at all. Maybe it was more DH's wishful thinking that he could convince them to come. I spoke with my mom this morning, she and my ILs are same generation/same culture and she said "you can tell DH that your ILs can come because no way are they going to." Looks like Mom does know best.

As to the bigger picture of my DH's issues, yes, I'm aware of them, we've been married for 10 years. We were in couples therapy when sheltering in place began. He is 85% okay and 15% WTF crazy, but at least he's willing to go into therapy so hopefully, we can work with the 15% crazy.

Incidentally, I had no idea that infants were at greater risk of covid 19; last I heard was a few weeks ago when they were saying that there were no deaths and only mild symptoms for the under 10 lot. I thought that if our ILs came, we were putting all of the adults at risk, but I thought the kids would be okay. Never would I knowingly put my child at serious risk. And no, I don't compromise on the car seat, I make sure the kids are strapped in before we start driving. And now that we have a baby, DH sits in the front and no longer fiddles with car seat straps while I'm driving.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

Anonymous wrote:Please stop having kids with that man. He had severe psychological problems.

And also start planning a divorce. You will end up that way eventually anyway. Do NOT compromise on anything in the meantime. In-laws staying with you is downright ridiculous, let alone such unreasonable in-laws and such a nutcase DH.

Start planning your escape now. Make sure you document all the stuff about the kids, it will be important soon for custody.