Anonymous wrote:I'm really surprised a SAHM thinks they're white collar. It's the the most pink collar job ever?!

Anonymous wrote:It can work, OP. I had a cousin who came from a very "high society" background with an advanced degree from an Ivy, and she was very well-off. She started dating a roofer or handyman who she met because he did work on her vacation home.

The family was initially mystified and a little scared that it sounded like a gold-digger situation on his part. But over time, everyone realized that they loved each other despite their differences, and they had a great relationship for many, many years. He would occasionally come to her fancy cocktail parties, and she would occasionally go camping with him, but for the most part they had separate hobbies.

The real key, though, is that she never, ever judged him or treated him as "less than" because of his blue collar background. And she wouldn't tolerate anyone else doing that either. I honestly never saw her worried about the things that you're worried about. (It also didn't hurt that he was a very happy-go-lucky guy who wasn't the type to worry whether people in her circle were judging him. He just didn't care.)

Anonymous wrote:

He makes good money, which, may not be a popular opinion, but is important to me. NOWHERE near how I used to live or what my ex made, so I'm not a gold digger- but I do want to have a modicum of standards and dont' want to struggle financially.

So I am truly mystified by this approach. OP do you not feel you can support yourself? You don't want to? While you may not want to work, your last plan of being supported by someone didn't work out. So why take this approach a second time? I won't touch your "modicum of standards" remark. And I'm a single mom so I do know what I'm saying by suggesting you "support yourself". It's not easy, but you sleep much better at night.

I will also point out that you are potentially hanging not just your life plan on this dude, but your baby's. If you can't do better for yourself, do it for the kiddo.

Anonymous wrote:Yes this post is too long.

I don’t see this lasting... he’s probably really into you, which feels damn good after an unfulfilling marriage... but after that wears off, you don’t have anything in common.

It’s ok to be single.

He makes good money, which, may not be a popular opinion, but is important to me. NOWHERE near how I used to live or what my ex made, so I'm not a gold digger- but I do want to have a modicum of standards and dont' want to struggle financially.

Anonymous wrote:Yes this post is too long.

I don’t see this lasting... he’s probably really into you, which feels damn good after an unfulfilling marriage... but after that wears off, you don’t have anything in common.

It’s ok to be single.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dr Phil says the only thing you need to have in common is that you love each other. He says he and his wife have no interests or hobbies alike, yet they have been married for years.

This can be true, and why I felt it may not work. She is not deeply in love with him. Spoken as a woman married to a man with a different education level, background and a variety of other differences. But we were deeply in love when we met and it has carried us through 25 years.(We also had children, sought therapy, were committed, did not want to lose our financial status, etc etc). But the Deep Love and our children was what made it hard to ever truly let go. This is where first "True Love" marriages have an advantage.

It's a common misconception that you need to share hobbies/ interests. I highly recommend reading Dr. Meg Jay when it comes to summarizing the keys to a successful long-term relationship. The main take always, though, are that you need to have some sort of convergence along the five factors for how people interact with the world: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Neuroticism.

Anonymous wrote:BTDT. The political differences will matter more than the social class ones.

Anonymous wrote:Dr Phil says the only thing you need to have in common is that you love each other. He says he and his wife have no interests or hobbies alike, yet they have been married for years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dr Phil says the only thing you need to have in common is that you love each other. He says he and his wife have no interests or hobbies alike, yet they have been married for years.

This can be true, and why I felt it may not work. She is not deeply in love with him. Spoken as a woman married to a man with a different education level, background and a variety of other differences. But we were deeply in love when we met and it has carried us through 25 years.(We also had children, sought therapy, were committed, did not want to lose our financial status, etc etc). But the Deep Love and our children was what made it hard to ever truly let go. This is where first "True Love" marriages have an advantage.

Anonymous wrote:No. This cannot work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not going to work so enjoy the ride while it lasts.

If I were you, I'd put this time and energy into becoming self-sufficient. You are newly single and your child is very young. Now is not the time to jump into another relationship, which you may be tempted to do , considering your limited dating experience and marriage. You are divorced without a real career; if your ex husband pays alimony, now is a great time to figure out how to stand on your own two feet financially. I say this without bitterness. Independence is a great feeling.

Good point!