Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with OP and PP. it is a nerve wracking process so go in with your eyes open. Don’t be the parent who thinks their own kid is amazing and pushes their child to apply to top ivys. Be encouraging but realistic. I saw several disappointed kids whose parents encouraged them to apply early to Harvard or Stanford. Kids had top grades and scores but didn’t stand out in any other way.

+1 And Naviance isn't really helpful with this. My DS has very high SATs and strong GPA but not one of the best in the class and hasn't done much with extracurriculars. Still, the college search tool in Naviance says Ivies are a "match" for him, which is ridiculous. But, some parents will believe that.

Naviance had every Ivy a "reach" for even the top kids at our school. I thought it defaults to "reach" on all Ivies

Full package with private counselors is a waste of money. Maybe 3 sessions but that is enough

My advice would be not to over rely on college counselor either at your school or private college counselor. They can help and have useful advice but they have a big picture outlook. They don’t care if kid A or kid B or C get into Yale or Harvard just as long as someone does. They don’t have the time to make sure your kids application is as good as can be. You need to be a parent and make sure to stay involved. Don’t act ignorant even if you didn’t go to college in the US. All the information can be found online. Use reddit, college blogs, etc and guide your kid appropriately.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like it or not, prestige matters in this world. It shouldn’t count for everything but it does play a small part.

You wouldn't know it from reading about all the hand-wringing that goes on among DCUM posters!

Can't people be aspirational without being insulted?

Anonymous wrote:Like it or not, prestige matters in this world. It shouldn’t count for everything but it does play a small part.

You wouldn't know it from reading about all the hand-wringing that goes on among DCUM posters!

Like it or not, prestige matters in this world. It shouldn’t count for everything but it does play a small part.

My lesson learned:

1) Apply to a rolling admission safety school that is good in your area early. For example, DD applied to a mid-western state school which is top 10 in her field (Iowa State), and was admitted within two weeks. That reduced stress. Had she done it earlier (she sent it in around 10/5), she would not have applied to 4 other safeties (Mich state, Miami - Ohio, Indiana, Delaware).

2) If there is a school that you like more than any other, and can afford, ED. DD did that, ED2, at her preferred school. Stats wise, she was 50-50, but that is where she is going.

3) Do not get caught up in the prestige game...focus on the good fit for the jid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Learned:
Applying where you are in the top 85-99% does not guarantee much scholarship $.

Applying where you are in the top 80-99% does not guarantee acceptance. WL, in fact.

Apply to schools that are financial fits! This generation of kids with credit cards (my kid) doesn’t really understand $.

Applying to a school that costs 73k a year, when that’s more that our 4-year budget for college, is crazy!

Be more on top of which schools they are applying to.

Insist on meeting with the GC. Our DC did everything with zero guidance. How I wish, looking back is always 20/20, I had insisted on 1 parent-child-GC meeting yo make sure that DC and I understood the process.

What happened? Does your kid not have any reasonable options?

No, DC has reasonable options. Just a lessons learned post.

Anonymous wrote:Learned:
Applying where you are in the top 85-99% does not guarantee much scholarship $.

Applying where you are in the top 80-99% does not guarantee acceptance. WL, in fact.

Apply to schools that are financial fits! This generation of kids with credit cards (my kid) doesn’t really understand $.

Applying to a school that costs 73k a year, when that’s more that our 4-year budget for college, is crazy!

Be more on top of which schools they are applying to.

Insist on meeting with the GC. Our DC did everything with zero guidance. How I wish, looking back is always 20/20, I had insisted on 1 parent-child-GC meeting yo make sure that DC and I understood the process.

What happened? Does your kid not have any reasonable options?

1. Don't pay application fees. Most schools waive them altogether. (Some schools, however, use them as an important source of revenue, know that all but a few of the 30,000 applicants who paid application fees will be rejected.)

2. Don't pay full sticker price. Almost no one does. Why should you?

3. Don't borrow money. If a school expects you to borrow money to meet its inflated costs and fees, go to a different school.

4. Look for a place that provides a serious academic experience, and where the students behave in a decent, humble, and respectful manner -- and don't think of college as an entitlement.

5. Satisfy yourself that the colleges you are considering take education seriously. And avoid colleges where what's going on is simply a credentialing exercise.

6. When you've narrowed down your list to two or three finalists, make sure you spend time on campus, and have your kid do an overnight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realize I don’t know anything about legacies.

I thought legacy applied mostly for Undergraduate degree..
But does the idea of legacy also apply for graduate School?

Parents only?
What about grandparents?
Aunts/Uncles?

The legacy connection will only help your kid if donations have been made regularly and loyally over the years, and are sizable enough to suggest that there is more to come.

Any college that is considering a legacy applicant isn't concerned with perpetuating a family tradition for tradition's sake; rather colleges are concerned with the flow of dough. If you've been giving regularly since your graduation, and have proved loyal and dependable in terms of financial support, then there's a reasonable possibility that your kid will do the same.

But if you haven't been a loyal donor, don't expect the legacy connection to do anything for your kid. In fact, it may work against him.

^^^ All the above is 100% incorrect.

Colleges treat legacies different. Check with the colleges you are interested in to know. It's all public knowledge and in the CDS.

Anonymous wrote:I realize I don’t know anything about legacies.

I thought legacy applied mostly for Undergraduate degree..
But does the idea of legacy also apply for graduate School?

Parents only?
What about grandparents?
Aunts/Uncles?

The legacy connection will only help your kid if donations have been made regularly and loyally over the years, and are sizable enough to suggest that there is more to come.

Any college that is considering a legacy applicant isn't concerned with perpetuating a family tradition for tradition's sake; rather colleges are concerned with the flow of dough. If you've been giving regularly since your graduation, and have proved loyal and dependable in terms of financial support, then there's a reasonable possibility that your kid will do the same.

But if you haven't been a loyal donor, don't expect the legacy connection to do anything for your kid. In fact, it may work against him.

Learned:
Applying where you are in the top 85-99% does not guarantee much scholarship $.

Applying where you are in the top 80-99% does not guarantee acceptance. WL, in fact.

Apply to schools that are financial fits! This generation of kids with credit cards (my kid) doesn’t really understand $.

Applying to a school that costs 73k a year, when that’s more that our 4-year budget for college, is crazy!

Be more on top of which schools they are applying to.

Insist on meeting with the GC. Our DC did everything with zero guidance. How I wish, looking back is always 20/20, I had insisted on 1 parent-child-GC meeting yo make sure that DC and I understood the process.

Anonymous wrote:I realize I don’t know anything about legacies.

I thought legacy applied mostly for Undergraduate degree..
But does the idea of legacy also apply for graduate School?

Parents only?
What about grandparents?
Aunts/Uncles?

Your question is not clear. Are you asking whether legacy can help you get into grad school or whether if you went to grad school at a university, your child gets legacy? Aunts, uncles, grandparents - usually not but some schools count the connection as legacy. Penn includes grandparents under legacy, not sure about aunts and uncles.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with OP and PP. it is a nerve wracking process so go in with your eyes open. Don’t be the parent who thinks their own kid is amazing and pushes their child to apply to top ivys. Be encouraging but realistic. I saw several disappointed kids whose parents encouraged them to apply early to Harvard or Stanford. Kids had top grades and scores but didn’t stand out in any other way.

Completely agree. Listen to the college office when they say that your perfect, high iq kid is not going to get into Ivy's. Lots of exceptional geniuses out there, but they all can't go to Ivys!