Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am just BURNT out. I just have this deep rage now and scream at my kids over little things. One moment I'm Mary Poppins (a teleworking full time one) and then I'm just the Hulk. I don't know what is wrong with me but I can't deal. My 1.5 and 3 year old are just too much. They need a new activity every 15 minutes and they don't like TV. I'm saving my leave for if/when we get it, plus it's my only connection to the outside world. At night I just can't sleep. Last time I went in at 9:30 and it was after 1am by the time I got to sleep. I've taken benadryl too. I basically just want to drink until this has all passed by.

All of our savings were in the stock market, so we definitely need our jobs too.

This is very disturbing. It is unreasonable to expect that a 1.5yo and 3yo can entertain themselves. At the same time, it is unreasonable to expect you to entertain them AND work all day. You need someone to help you. Sure, you might have a 10% chance of contracting coronavirus (hopefully not this much, assuming you find someone responsible who is socially distancing) but by continuing on your current path, you have a 100% chance of damaging and your children’s mental health.

Theirs and ours. I truly feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown soon. I'm the poster above with the 4 and 2 year old.

Anonymous wrote:I am just BURNT out. I just have this deep rage now and scream at my kids over little things. One moment I'm Mary Poppins (a teleworking full time one) and then I'm just the Hulk. I don't know what is wrong with me but I can't deal. My 1.5 and 3 year old are just too much. They need a new activity every 15 minutes and they don't like TV. I'm saving my leave for if/when we get it, plus it's my only connection to the outside world. At night I just can't sleep. Last time I went in at 9:30 and it was after 1am by the time I got to sleep. I've taken benadryl too. I basically just want to drink until this has all passed by.

All of our savings were in the stock market, so we definitely need our jobs too.

This is very disturbing. It is unreasonable to expect that a 1.5yo and 3yo can entertain themselves. At the same time, it is unreasonable to expect you to entertain them AND work all day. You need someone to help you. Sure, you might have a 10% chance of contracting coronavirus (hopefully not this much, assuming you find someone responsible who is socially distancing) but by continuing on your current path, you have a 100% chance of damaging and your children’s mental health.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I would get a nanny. If she quarantines herself you will be fine.

Our nanny is married and her husband still has to go to work. So unless she came to live with us and didn't leave the house, she couldn't quarantine herself. I'm not sure how many nannies you think there are who are single, live alone, and don't need to eat?

At this point I think dual WOH parent families with young kids may just have to assume the risk that their childcare provider could be bringing the virus into the home. Otherwise they may lose their jobs due to failing to work. Not every job can support going on unpaid leave for months. DH and I are in 'essential' areas (allowed to operate under the new Hogan order), and we're basically going to need a nanny (currently a babysitter is keeping us afloat).

That's assuming you have a nanny/babysitter. Our daycare is closed and we are both working from home with a 4 and 2 year old. It is truly hell to say the least.

I'm the PP you're responding to. I don't doubt it. That's why I think people will eventually have to find childcare providers. It just seems unsustainable to me.
If you can swing the cost (I know not everyone can) I'd recommend trying to find a college student or out-of-work daycare worker etc. to help, even just a few hours a day. We are basically suspending savings to pay for it, because that's cheaper than losing our jobs.

NP no way. Why are you putting your kid's health below your job? I'd rather us both work full time and stay home and not get sick.

That is because you are probably not doing it because if you are, you know it's undoable. I have been back to back conference calls and right before, prepare lunch, husband is changing diapers. everyone is wailing or shouting. You have no clue. I am on a call right now that i am not actively participating, husband is on a staff meeting, the 4 year old is running around, and the 2 year old is cryinhg in his crib.

To answer the poster question about finding a college.. we don't know anyone like that and honestly, we can't swing the cost. We are still paying for a daycare (for two kids).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get a nanny. If she quarantines herself you will be fine.

Our nanny is married and her husband still has to go to work. So unless she came to live with us and didn't leave the house, she couldn't quarantine herself. I'm not sure how many nannies you think there are who are single, live alone, and don't need to eat?

At this point I think dual WOH parent families with young kids may just have to assume the risk that their childcare provider could be bringing the virus into the home. Otherwise they may lose their jobs due to failing to work. Not every job can support going on unpaid leave for months. DH and I are in 'essential' areas (allowed to operate under the new Hogan order), and we're basically going to need a nanny (currently a babysitter is keeping us afloat).

That's assuming you have a nanny/babysitter. Our daycare is closed and we are both working from home with a 4 and 2 year old. It is truly hell to say the least.

I'm the PP you're responding to. I don't doubt it. That's why I think people will eventually have to find childcare providers. It just seems unsustainable to me.
If you can swing the cost (I know not everyone can) I'd recommend trying to find a college student or out-of-work daycare worker etc. to help, even just a few hours a day. We are basically suspending savings to pay for it, because that's cheaper than losing our jobs.

NP no way. Why are you putting your kid's health below your job? I'd rather us both work full time and stay home and not get sick.

I am just BURNT out. I just have this deep rage now and scream at my kids over little things. One moment I'm Mary Poppins (a teleworking full time one) and then I'm just the Hulk. I don't know what is wrong with me but I can't deal. My 1.5 and 3 year old are just too much. They need a new activity every 15 minutes and they don't like TV. I'm saving my leave for if/when we get it, plus it's my only connection to the outside world. At night I just can't sleep. Last time I went in at 9:30 and it was after 1am by the time I got to sleep. I've taken benadryl too. I basically just want to drink until this has all passed by.

All of our savings were in the stock market, so we definitely need our jobs too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get a nanny. If she quarantines herself you will be fine.

Our nanny is married and her husband still has to go to work. So unless she came to live with us and didn't leave the house, she couldn't quarantine herself. I'm not sure how many nannies you think there are who are single, live alone, and don't need to eat?

At this point I think dual WOH parent families with young kids may just have to assume the risk that their childcare provider could be bringing the virus into the home. Otherwise they may lose their jobs due to failing to work. Not every job can support going on unpaid leave for months. DH and I are in 'essential' areas (allowed to operate under the new Hogan order), and we're basically going to need a nanny (currently a babysitter is keeping us afloat).

That's assuming you have a nanny/babysitter. Our daycare is closed and we are both working from home with a 4 and 2 year old. It is truly hell to say the least.

I'm the PP you're responding to. I don't doubt it. That's why I think people will eventually have to find childcare providers. It just seems unsustainable to me.
If you can swing the cost (I know not everyone can) I'd recommend trying to find a college student or out-of-work daycare worker etc. to help, even just a few hours a day. We are basically suspending savings to pay for it, because that's cheaper than losing our jobs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get a nanny. If she quarantines herself you will be fine.

Our nanny is married and her husband still has to go to work. So unless she came to live with us and didn't leave the house, she couldn't quarantine herself. I'm not sure how many nannies you think there are who are single, live alone, and don't need to eat?

At this point I think dual WOH parent families with young kids may just have to assume the risk that their childcare provider could be bringing the virus into the home. Otherwise they may lose their jobs due to failing to work. Not every job can support going on unpaid leave for months. DH and I are in 'essential' areas (allowed to operate under the new Hogan order), and we're basically going to need a nanny (currently a babysitter is keeping us afloat).

That's assuming you have a nanny/babysitter. Our daycare is closed and we are both working from home with a 4 and 2 year old. It is truly hell to say the least.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get a nanny. If she quarantines herself you will be fine.

Our nanny is married and her husband still has to go to work. So unless she came to live with us and didn't leave the house, she couldn't quarantine herself. I'm not sure how many nannies you think there are who are single, live alone, and don't need to eat?

At this point I think dual WOH parent families with young kids may just have to assume the risk that their childcare provider could be bringing the virus into the home. Otherwise they may lose their jobs due to failing to work. Not every job can support going on unpaid leave for months. DH and I are in 'essential' areas (allowed to operate under the new Hogan order), and we're basically going to need a nanny (currently a babysitter is keeping us afloat).

Anonymous wrote:Is it so hard to imagine that people have actual work to do? I'm a lawyer, I've got a deadline Friday due to a judge that hasn't been extended so that's actually something I have to get done. It's not optional and it won't happen unless I do it, which means working everyday between now and then. I'm not special and I can take time off, but not THIS time, not right now.

I'm making it work (getting up before the kid is up to do work, working during the limited downtime, working after she goes to bed), but it's exhausting.

This. I don't know why this thread had to turn into yet another mommy war about who has it hardest. It was about how working parents with young kids are struggling to juggle full time work with full time childcare. That's it. Many people with jobs still have a lot of work to do. Why is anyone disputing that?

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. My husband and I are both teleworking, but neither of us can "call out sick" in any realistic way unless we legit get COVID 19. Our employers (and coworkers, and supervisors, and direct reports, etc.) all need things from us and we have so much work to get done. Plus we know we're not the only ones struggling so we're not about to dump the work on other people. And we can't exactly call in sick for 8 weeks!!

But we have two young kids at home and IT IS SO HARD. I'm exhausted, and it's only week 1. I don't have any advice. Just commiseration.

This is such BS. If you had the flu, if you broke your arm, if your kid was ill, you would call out for a day or more and your work would be fine. If you died, your work would figure it out. A lot of people here are addicted to the feeling of busyness. The universe is giving you an unprecedented opportunity to slow down and you won't take it.

I have a job, I manage people, I have deliverables. They can wait a few hours each day, or a day or two. They can call me if I'm offline and they desperately need an answer. It's ok to put myself first.

This x1000. The only thing worse than SAHMartyrs is WOHMartyrs. Yes, the world can survive if you take a day off. You may think the company would go bankrupt without you, but they’re resilient, I promise.

Do you think all working moms are just easily replaceable drones? I am the only person at my company who does what I do, which happens to be in high demand at this particular time given what is going on. I don’t have an inflated sense of self-importance, it’s just the truth. So stop pretending like your job or your friend’s job is like all other jobs out there. I actively try not to be a martyr, but I’m pretty sure if I told my boss I just wasn’t going to take some sick leave when I don’t actually have the coronavirus (I assume), then I’ll get fired or, at best, burn some major bridges.

Lol, get over yourself. You’re not that important. Maybe you tell yourself that to justify all of the hours you work? But trust me, if you were to die tomorrow, you would be forgotten by your boss by next week.

I don't know if you think you're going to make me feel bad by saying that, but it didn't work. I don't work a ton of hours, actually. I like my job a lot and I get paid a lot to do it. But some people have specialties and are good at what they do. Obviously you're not one of them, so I feel sorry for you.

NP, but the bolded is so needlessly mean.

And the previous post wasn't? It literally said if PP were to DIE tomorrow, their boss would forget them. That's incredibly mean.

It is--and I missed that. Thanks for correcting me.

Frankly, both of them were going back and forth in a pretty ugly way. None of it helps right now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. My husband and I are both teleworking, but neither of us can "call out sick" in any realistic way unless we legit get COVID 19. Our employers (and coworkers, and supervisors, and direct reports, etc.) all need things from us and we have so much work to get done. Plus we know we're not the only ones struggling so we're not about to dump the work on other people. And we can't exactly call in sick for 8 weeks!!

But we have two young kids at home and IT IS SO HARD. I'm exhausted, and it's only week 1. I don't have any advice. Just commiseration.

This is such BS. If you had the flu, if you broke your arm, if your kid was ill, you would call out for a day or more and your work would be fine. If you died, your work would figure it out. A lot of people here are addicted to the feeling of busyness. The universe is giving you an unprecedented opportunity to slow down and you won't take it.

I have a job, I manage people, I have deliverables. They can wait a few hours each day, or a day or two. They can call me if I'm offline and they desperately need an answer. It's ok to put myself first.

This x1000. The only thing worse than SAHMartyrs is WOHMartyrs. Yes, the world can survive if you take a day off. You may think the company would go bankrupt without you, but they’re resilient, I promise.

Do you think all working moms are just easily replaceable drones? I am the only person at my company who does what I do, which happens to be in high demand at this particular time given what is going on. I don’t have an inflated sense of self-importance, it’s just the truth. So stop pretending like your job or your friend’s job is like all other jobs out there. I actively try not to be a martyr, but I’m pretty sure if I told my boss I just wasn’t going to take some sick leave when I don’t actually have the coronavirus (I assume), then I’ll get fired or, at best, burn some major bridges.

Lol, get over yourself. You’re not that important. Maybe you tell yourself that to justify all of the hours you work? But trust me, if you were to die tomorrow, you would be forgotten by your boss by next week.

I don't know if you think you're going to make me feel bad by saying that, but it didn't work. I don't work a ton of hours, actually. I like my job a lot and I get paid a lot to do it. But some people have specialties and are good at what they do. Obviously you're not one of them, so I feel sorry for you.

NP, but the bolded is so needlessly mean.

And the previous post wasn't? It literally said if PP were to DIE tomorrow, their boss would forget them. That's incredibly mean.

Anonymous wrote:I would get a nanny. If she quarantines herself you will be fine.

Our nanny is married and her husband still has to go to work. So unless she came to live with us and didn't leave the house, she couldn't quarantine herself. I'm not sure how many nannies you think there are who are single, live alone, and don't need to eat?

OP,

We're going through the same thing. I'm the mom, and my office is pretty crazy right now. It's extremely stressful, and causing me great anger (particularly since the work that I'm doing right now is not even essential, although my agency is critical in the current situation). I've basically resigned myself to the fact that i'll be gaining tons of weight from the stress and snacking (coping mechanism) and have spent my "off" time trying to organize/clean and then clean again. I've given up on following the school's schedule as my kids are 5 and 8. I give them worksheets when I have time to do, but don't bother logging on to whatever programs they've sent passwords for. Older kid already had math and piano lessons via video this week. I stream endless videos at night to turn my brain off. It's exhausting b/c although I'm on an alternative schedule at work, I pretty much respond whenever an email is sent (which is at all hours and weekends).

Is it so hard to imagine that people have actual work to do? I'm a lawyer, I've got a deadline Friday due to a judge that hasn't been extended so that's actually something I have to get done. It's not optional and it won't happen unless I do it, which means working everyday between now and then. I'm not special and I can take time off, but not THIS time, not right now.

I'm making it work (getting up before the kid is up to do work, working during the limited downtime, working after she goes to bed), but it's exhausting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get it. My husband and I are both teleworking, but neither of us can "call out sick" in any realistic way unless we legit get COVID 19. Our employers (and coworkers, and supervisors, and direct reports, etc.) all need things from us and we have so much work to get done. Plus we know we're not the only ones struggling so we're not about to dump the work on other people. And we can't exactly call in sick for 8 weeks!!

But we have two young kids at home and IT IS SO HARD. I'm exhausted, and it's only week 1. I don't have any advice. Just commiseration.

This is such BS. If you had the flu, if you broke your arm, if your kid was ill, you would call out for a day or more and your work would be fine. If you died, your work would figure it out. A lot of people here are addicted to the feeling of busyness. The universe is giving you an unprecedented opportunity to slow down and you won't take it.

I have a job, I manage people, I have deliverables. They can wait a few hours each day, or a day or two. They can call me if I'm offline and they desperately need an answer. It's ok to put myself first.

This x1000. The only thing worse than SAHMartyrs is WOHMartyrs. Yes, the world can survive if you take a day off. You may think the company would go bankrupt without you, but they’re resilient, I promise.

Do you think all working moms are just easily replaceable drones? I am the only person at my company who does what I do, which happens to be in high demand at this particular time given what is going on. I don’t have an inflated sense of self-importance, it’s just the truth. So stop pretending like your job or your friend’s job is like all other jobs out there. I actively try not to be a martyr, but I’m pretty sure if I told my boss I just wasn’t going to take some sick leave when I don’t actually have the coronavirus (I assume), then I’ll get fired or, at best, burn some major bridges.

Lol, get over yourself. You’re not that important. Maybe you tell yourself that to justify all of the hours you work? But trust me, if you were to die tomorrow, you would be forgotten by your boss by next week.

I don't know if you think you're going to make me feel bad by saying that, but it didn't work. I don't work a ton of hours, actually. I like my job a lot and I get paid a lot to do it. But some people have specialties and are good at what they do. Obviously you're not one of them, so I feel sorry for you.

NP, but the bolded is so needlessly mean.