I’m getting it on with my office husband.

Anonymous wrote:Mine hits me in the face with toys and when I tell her no, she says "But Mommy I'm only hitting you a little bit!"

She also decorates me with stickers all day, telling me "it's because i love you and want to make you beautiful."

This is my daughter allll the way.

Anonymous wrote:Mine are hobbits who set the butter to smoking yesterday while making popcorn for their elevenses. Then one was terrified by National Geographic and announced during a video team meeting that we were all going to die and be eaten by carnivorous hermit crabs like Amelia Earhart.

HR will now prescreen National Geographic documentaries for graphic and disturbing content about crabs.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: now they are passing really stinky gas and talking about it.

My other new coworker, DH locks himself in a room upstairs because he “needs” to work (whereas I don’t?!?) and decided based on this morning’s events that he would rather brave Costco than face this.

This is a cry for help.

Mine are hobbits who set the butter to smoking yesterday while making popcorn for their elevenses. Then one was terrified by National Geographic and announced during a video team meeting that we were all going to die and be eaten by carnivorous hermit crabs like Amelia Earhart.

HR will now prescreen National Geographic documentaries for graphic and disturbing content about crabs.

Anonymous wrote:One of my coworkers is wearing only underwear and touches his penis about 10,000 times a day.

Who is running your HR department???? Get them on this STAT

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Somebody ate my lunch. It had my name on it.

MY SANDWICH???? MYYYYYY SANDWICCCHHHHHHHH?!!!?!?!?!?!?!!

Ha, I recognize this! Friends: Ross & his Thanksgiving sandwich

Thank you for this great thread - I needed to laugh!

My coworker put her underwear on my desk today.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one of the most amusing threads we've had in a while. Maybe the site needs a Best Of like Craig's List has.

OP here:

I also started THIS THREAD:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/670012.page

I need to start changing Jeff $$$ and/or get a life.

OMG! You have the 2 best threads ever! I LOVE YOU!

My coworker does nothing but watch videos of video games all day.

My coworkers appear to be having a hard time finding one another. They keep opening my office door and conducting searches at random intervals. From time to time, I hear recitation of the numbers one through thirty followed by “Ready or not, here I come!” And the giggling and squealing. OH the giggling and squealing.

Oooooh OP great work on both threads.

My co worker burst into tears when he tried to get his google doc to link into Dropbox before the Zoom call. After texting tech support (his buddy) and figuring it out he said to me: Look, this platform proliferation is really a problem. These teachers need to get together and decide on common platforms, because this is terribly inefficient. He then went off in a huff, leaving me to try to get my One Drive document to open up so I could use it on the Skype call called by the coworker on Slack. I hear ya, kid. I hear ya.

Anonymous wrote:One of my coworkers is wearing only underwear and touches his penis about 10,000 times a day.

Wait, are you my DH? BC this is DS, 100%.

My coworkers all (even the big one) expect me to be the office mom, with snacks and hugs and shit. Oh, wait...