Anonymous wrote:I can't believe the amount of people OK with raising lazy, fat, loser kids. Seriously. You are screwing your kid for life by letting him/her drop structure at 12/13.

These kids become society's problems later.

Uh that might be a little alarmist. Just saying

Ok? You do realize can be perfectly fine and happy, successful adults without all the structured organized activities?

I can't believe the amount of people OK with raising lazy, fat, loser kids. Seriously. You are screwing your kid for life by letting him/her drop structure at 12/13.

These kids become society's problems later.

^ they do homework, read, art and yes, some screen time.
what's the issue, we have to spend our down time sitting in the same room?

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Anonymous wrote:We did this. Kids older now and I really wish we hadn’t. Not good for the family, our marriage or relationships. It’s hard when “everyone is doing it”

I feel the opposite. This is how we have built our friendships (kids and adults alike) - with sports, scouts, dance, and school. Kids are now 20, 18 and 17 and getting ready for empty nest soon. All of the projects we've put off through the years can be done then but we spent the time together while we had each other.

Newsflash, those of us not over scheduled are spending a lot more time together.

Not necessarily. A lot of the parents I know who refuse to let their kids join travel sports or other time-intensive activities do so because they can't be bothered/feel like it takes away from their leisure time. They do not fill the extra hours with more family time.

Leisure time around the house IS family time.

Not always. When my tween kids are home, we have dinner together then its off to thier respective rooms - are you really having that much family interaction nightly.

If money and time is a factor, then find a balance. I happen to think sports, music, social activities have so many benefits, so we make it work, and they love it - win/win.

Why are you just letting the tweens hole up in their rooms. They aren't even teens yet.

My post was't just about familt time, which is import, but also kid time
More free time for them to just be kids. I have never bern a big believer of busy kids and don't know why its an assumed thing.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did this. Kids older now and I really wish we hadn’t. Not good for the family, our marriage or relationships. It’s hard when “everyone is doing it”

I feel the opposite. This is how we have built our friendships (kids and adults alike) - with sports, scouts, dance, and school. Kids are now 20, 18 and 17 and getting ready for empty nest soon. All of the projects we've put off through the years can be done then but we spent the time together while we had each other.

Newsflash, those of us not over scheduled are spending a lot more time together.

Not necessarily. A lot of the parents I know who refuse to let their kids join travel sports or other time-intensive activities do so because they can't be bothered/feel like it takes away from their leisure time. They do not fill the extra hours with more family time.

Leisure time around the house IS family time.

Not always. When my tween kids are home, we have dinner together then its off to thier respective rooms - are you really having that much family interaction nightly.

If money and time is a factor, then find a balance. I happen to think sports, music, social activities have so many benefits, so we make it work, and they love it - win/win.

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Anonymous wrote:Well ok, what do you think constitutes a selfish reason though? For argument sake, let's just speak on travel sports. They are very expensive and time consuming and usually don't leave much time for said kid in the sport to be actually be a kid. It's very intrusive on life and not just for the kid involved. I can absolutely see myself saying not because of money and time. Do you think that makes me selfish? I guess if it does so be it then.

Guarding family time should be a top priority, not sports. I like you.

Thank you

Carpool. Carpool is the answer. Especially if the activity is further from home. We have often had a 4 kid carpool so sometimes we drive one way every other practice or sometimes we drive both ways every 4th practice. It is a major help. My 2 kids' piano lessons are back to back so at least those are only one trip. The one can do homework while the other has a lesson. One troop meets at the school and kid can go straight from aftercare to scouts. Other troop meets only on the weekends. It's busy but it works. If it's not working for you, change something - either limit/back off on activities or look for ways to carpool/reduce driving.