I’d rather have a kid at 40 than one at 20

Ugh to be that close to the finish line and then have to go all the way back. No way. I knew a mom once who had “oops” twins at 50. She was exhausted. Had them in full time day care even though she was at home.

Anonymous wrote:I'm speechless...my friends have 3 kids, all 20+ and out of the house. Out of nowhere, new baby! Scares the crap out of me. I have so many questions, but also just fears about the circumstances and if it could happen to me. Has anyone else gotten really scared or shocked by something similar?

Vasectomy. This is why they exist.

I was that baby and I am very happy to be here.

My mom had my brother when she was 20 and me when she was 40. Same father. They always said I was planned, but always had doubts, lol! We have no siblings in between. I had my first at 37 and my second at 41. I'm 46 now and had my tubes tied after delivering my youngest, no way I wanted to take a chance on an oops baby! They had told me after having my first that I would not be able to get pregnant again without IVF. They were obviously very wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm speechless...my friends have 3 kids, all 20+ and out of the house. Out of nowhere, new baby! Scares the crap out of me. I have so many questions, but also just fears about the circumstances and if it could happen to me. Has anyone else gotten really scared or shocked by something similar?

You need to get a life. You’re acting like a child died. Calm down.

No, I haven't. Worry about bigger things in the world, please. I'm more shocked that you have 44 year old friends with 20+ kids.

Anonymous wrote:aren't the odds insanely high of having a child with DS or autism with a 44 year old pregnancy?

No, they are no insanely high. Higher than average, but still.

Anonymous wrote:aren't the odds insanely high of having a child with DS or autism with a 44 year old pregnancy?

No.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised by people's experience having babies at 27. I was 30 when I had my first in D.C. and no one thought it was young. And it wasn't. Does 3 years really make a difference?

I had my first at 28, in DC. I was definitely the youngest mom in daycare/preschool. Many times I had been mistaken for a nanny or au pair.

Not my experience as a new mom at age 28 twelve years ago. This literally never happened to me.

aren't the odds insanely high of having a child with DS or autism with a 44 year old pregnancy?

I had my child at 30 and I'm definitely in the younger group of moms at my son's Ward 3 elementary school. Lots of parents in their 50s.

Anonymous wrote:I could not find the energy at age 44 to re-do the baby years, chase a toddler at age 47, or keep up with all the school aged activities at age 50, and not look like a grandma at high school graduation 18 yrs later.

Why the heck not? See a doctor.

Sounds lucky to me. Some of us wanted children and couldn't have them.

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised by people's experience having babies at 27. I was 30 when I had my first in D.C. and no one thought it was young. And it wasn't. Does 3 years really make a difference?

I had my first at 28, in DC. I was definitely the youngest mom in daycare/preschool. Many times I had been mistaken for a nanny or au pair.

Anonymous wrote:I am surprised by people's experience having babies at 27. I was 30 when I had my first in D.C. and no one thought it was young. And it wasn't. Does 3 years really make a difference?

No it doesn’t