Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 10:37     Subject: “Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?


"I don't work."
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 10:37     Subject: “Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:OP, please point out instances where this phrase has been used. Because it’s not.


I've seen a number of people post on social media that they're leaving the workforce to be a 'full-time mom.' *barfs
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 10:35     Subject: “Full time mom”
Honest question to those who feel the phrase "Full-time mom" is a dig at WOHMs --- what word do you wish the "full-time moms" would use for themselves?
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 10:29     Subject: Re:“Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:Honest question- how do "full-time moms" describe themselves when their kids are in elementary school? Child care isn't needed for 7 hours a day.

FWIW, I have no dog in this fight. I do work FT, but from home, and my kids are almost in middle school so there's certainly no need for a ton of oversight like when they too young for school. So maybe I have the best/worst of both worlds, really.

There are winter breaks, sick days teacher days etc when kids not in school. Also volunteering in school. At our elementary school there is enough need for parent volunteers a few days per week. I don’t know about middle or hs but we both hope to be “retired” at that point.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 10:17     Subject: “Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:Full-time mom is maybe not a dig, but implicates that working moms are part-time moms. So maybe not mean, but thoughtless statement and a little full of themselves.

I mean, how does this come up??


So, when you say you work full time, are you trying to implicate that “full time moms” don’t do any work? Or just nothing of value? It sounds like you’re pretty full of yourself, even if it’s not a direct dig at SAHMs.

See how annoying it is when people make other people’s decisions about them and take everything personally?
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 10:12     Subject: Re:“Full time mom”
Honest question- how do "full-time moms" describe themselves when their kids are in elementary school? Child care isn't needed for 7 hours a day.

FWIW, I have no dog in this fight. I do work FT, but from home, and my kids are almost in middle school so there's certainly no need for a ton of oversight like when they too young for school. So maybe I have the best/worst of both worlds, really.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 10:12     Subject: “Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, please point out instances where this phrase has been used. Because it’s not.


NP. It’s used frequently by Dr Laura. And it’s absolutely a dig.


But Dr. Laura is a toxic shrew.

If I asked someone what they do and that’s what they said, I would not be offended.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 10:08     Subject: “Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:OP, please point out instances where this phrase has been used. Because it’s not.


NP. It’s used frequently by Dr Laura. And it’s absolutely a dig.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 10:03     Subject: “Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yep,, there is not any perfect term for this (yet). "SAHM" is not accurate since we hardly "stay at home" most days. I think "full-time mom" is better, but if it's objectionable to other moms, I'd be happy to use some other term.

Suggestions? It would be so nice to have a term that doesn't diminish the real work we SAHMs do OR the real parenting of moms who do other work during the daytime.


I agree. I use SAHM but I don't love the phrase.


I think “full time mom” is fine too. People like OP are always going to find some reason to be offended by other mom’s choices.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 09:59     Subject: “Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yep,, there is not any perfect term for this (yet). "SAHM" is not accurate since we hardly "stay at home" most days. I think "full-time mom" is better, but if it's objectionable to other moms, I'd be happy to use some other term.

Suggestions? It would be so nice to have a term that doesn't diminish the real work we SAHMs do OR the real parenting of moms who do other work during the daytime.


Yes. I haven't ever found one word that conveys all this. I usually say something more wordy that I hope sounds neutral, like, "I don't work outside the home, I run the house and the family instead."

Let's all try on both sides not to look for offense when it's just semantics.



I see that you’re trying, but that doesn’t make sense. Because plenty of women both run the house and the family and work outside the home. There is no instead - it’s not either/or.


The above is cringeworthy.

You’re really invested in the idea that you do everything SAHMs do and you’re committed to getting offended at however they describe their days. “Full time mom” is offensive because you consider yourself a full time mom even though you’re at work during the day and outsourcing childcare. Acknowledging that reality upsets you. A longer explanation that someone doesn’t work outside the home and takes care of the family also offends you because you like to think you do all of that too. You are the special snowflake with infinite hours in the day who has time to take care of kids and family full time and work full time! It must be great to have more than 24 hours in a day!

But really just be honest and say you’re not going to be happy until SAHMs day they’re lazy and do nothing all day. Anything else, you’re going to find a way to get offended about.


+1
You can’t be watching your kids during the day AND working. You’re just not. And that’s OK.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 09:58     Subject: “Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yep,, there is not any perfect term for this (yet). "SAHM" is not accurate since we hardly "stay at home" most days. I think "full-time mom" is better, but if it's objectionable to other moms, I'd be happy to use some other term.

Suggestions? It would be so nice to have a term that doesn't diminish the real work we SAHMs do OR the real parenting of moms who do other work during the daytime.


Yes. I haven't ever found one word that conveys all this. I usually say something more wordy that I hope sounds neutral, like, "I don't work outside the home, I run the house and the family instead."

Let's all try on both sides not to look for offense when it's just semantics.



I see that you’re trying, but that doesn’t make sense. Because plenty of women both run the house and the family and work outside the home. There is no instead - it’s not either/or.


The above is cringeworthy.

You’re really invested in the idea that you do everything SAHMs do and you’re committed to getting offended at however they describe their days. “Full time mom” is offensive because you consider yourself a full time mom even though you’re at work during the day and outsourcing childcare. Acknowledging that reality upsets you. A longer explanation that someone doesn’t work outside the home and takes care of the family also offends you because you like to think you do all of that too. You are the special snowflake with infinite hours in the day who has time to take care of kids and family full time and work full time! It must be great to have more than 24 hours in a day!

But really just be honest and say you’re not going to be happy until SAHMs day they’re lazy and do nothing all day. Anything else, you’re going to find a way to get offended about.

Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 09:53     Subject: “Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:Momming so hard?

— you girls need a hobby —

I think my new hobby will be trying to find something more petty than this to be offended about.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 09:53     Subject: “Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:Yep,, there is not any perfect term for this (yet). "SAHM" is not accurate since we hardly "stay at home" most days. I think "full-time mom" is better, but if it's objectionable to other moms, I'd be happy to use some other term.

Suggestions? It would be so nice to have a term that doesn't diminish the real work we SAHMs do OR the real parenting of moms who do other work during the daytime.


I agree. I use SAHM but I don't love the phrase.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 09:52     Subject: Re:“Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don’t say you “work full time”. Employees don’t work full time because there are hours in a day outside employment.


Np: “full time” is a legitimate labor term to represent, generally, 40 hours per week.

So when kids go to preschool or they have a daily gym class, do they start saying they are part time moms?

For employment it’s used to generally differentiate benefits.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2020 09:52     Subject: “Full time mom”
Anonymous wrote:OP, please point out instances where this phrase has been used. Because it’s not.


I'm a SAHM who has never used the term, but older gentlemen have used it towards me ("oh, you are a full time mom") in conversation. I've always thought of it as an outdated phrase.