Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand OP.

Duke University Hospital 1990"s. I was told continuously breast is best by the Lactation Consultant that worked the maternity wards there. I was not breast feeding, I had my reasons. Those women were ridiculously pushing. DH and nurses and doctors had to ask them to leave.

Last child I switched hospitals UNC Chapel Hill no problems at all.

Funny in dc I had the opposite problem. They would feed my baby formula before getting me to breastfeed her. They were mostly pro formula! I had one good nurse who supported me.

But op doesnt want to hear my story.

Your story is not relevant to this conversation. You can have been unsupported in your choice to breastfeed, and that is bad. And there can, currently, be a culture that is harmful in how it has convinced women that breastfeeding is the be all end all.

Your story doesn't have to be false for ops opinion to be correct.

I would expand her original statement to say that anyone giving any mom a hard time for how she chooses to feed her baby is a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:I just hope everyone is paying attention to what people are actually saying, and not just imagining their judgement and putting words and thoughts in their mouths. I nursed my kids longer than usual, and very frequently a mother would see me and immediately launch defensively into why she couldn’t breastfeed, or why she had to quit or whatever, without me ever saying anything, when I really and truly didn’t care how she fed her child. Many of us project our anger or frustration or disappointment onto other people.

This is true, it happens. But it happens because breast is best and concepts like that pp who just casually threw out there that "formula is convenient for moms and I give my baby the best" line. So women walk around convinced everyone is judging them. And women who couldn't breastfeed they way they want feel crushing guilt because they bought into all that. It's a recipe for oversensitive rationalizing.

Personally I formula fed from day one because I had no interest in trying, at all, and that's it, no medical reason at all. I was very confident in that decision and honestly felt like I never had anyone in real life judge me. My cousin would have but I just didnt tell her. The number of lactivists out there in real life isnt that large I dont think (or maybe no one talked to me because they knew I'd snap back!). But the neurosis we have created in new moms is very real.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you hate how breastfeeding women made you feel...so you want to put down breastfeeding women? Hypocritical?

I feel like everyone should at least try breastfeeding, if just in the hospital to get colostrum. And then if it doesn't work, just move on! No need to fret about how you can't nurse or go on rants about women who do. There seems to be some feeling amongst women who don't/can't breastfeed that they're broken. Nope. Just move onto formula and stop talking about it.

This is so true.

I don’t understand the angst that moms who formula feed feel about this issue. Seriously, stop obsessing about other moms are doing. Move on. In the wise words of Elsa, Let it go!

First of all, if a woman does not want to try breastfeeding, that is totally fine. The benefits of colostrum are overblown. Yes, it's got a lot of antibodies, but they never enter the baby's bloodstream. They go through the digestive tract, and have local effects there. Human babies get the antibodies they need to survive while they are still in the womb.

I have been BFing for 10 months. It is easy and convenient now, but it was rough for a long time, and I often wonder if we all would have been better off with formula from the start. Why didn't I stop earlier? Because the medical establishment tells women that breastfeeding is the best way to feed a baby, and you should keep doing it for 12 months. I don't have a ton of experience with babies, so I follow my doctor's advice. Looking back, I wish the message had been more balanced.

The angst comes from all of the false/exaggerated information out there about the benefits of breastfeeding. A friend who formula-fed thought her baby was getting sick at daycare and mine wasn't because I was breastfeeding and she wasn't. Actually, it was because my baby wasn't mobile yet and hers was. Once DD started touching everything, all bets were off. Yes, on a public health level, breastfeeding reduces illnesses in babies, but on an individual level, the impact is tiny.

Anonymous wrote:So you hate how breastfeeding women made you feel...so you want to put down breastfeeding women? Hypocritical?

I feel like everyone should at least try breastfeeding, if just in the hospital to get colostrum. And then if it doesn't work, just move on! No need to fret about how you can't nurse or go on rants about women who do. There seems to be some feeling amongst women who don't/can't breastfeed that they're broken. Nope. Just move onto formula and stop talking about it.

This is so true.

I don’t understand the angst that moms who formula feed feel about this issue. Seriously, stop obsessing about other moms are doing. Move on. In the wise words of Elsa, Let it go!

So you hate how breastfeeding women made you feel...so you want to put down breastfeeding women? Hypocritical?

I feel like everyone should at least try breastfeeding, if just in the hospital to get colostrum. And then if it doesn't work, just move on! No need to fret about how you can't nurse or go on rants about women who do. There seems to be some feeling amongst women who don't/can't breastfeed that they're broken. Nope. Just move onto formula and stop talking about it.

You guys all need to calm down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formula is convenient. May not be the best for a kid but it is convenient for the mom. I don't know about activism because as a mom who EBF, I don't give a damn if other moms don't bf their kids. My kid gets the best I can give and that what matters, not what other kids are being fed. There is enough literature available about benefits of BF, and I do not need to educate anyone.

Mean girls are selfish. To BF is opposite of being selfish. So your assertion does not make sense.

Should corporations have accomodations for working moms to pump at work or at work daycare etc. Yes. Absolutely.

Way to prove a point.

Seriously. To be so un-self-aware.

Yes, you are. This woman is not pushing anything on you. She made different choices and is totally down with you making your own.

Are you unfamiliar with the term "throwing shade?"

Anonymous wrote:Agreed, breastfeeding is overrated. Some women turn it into a competition.

And other women turn ridiculing moms who breastfeed into sport. If only you could focus all that energy on your baby, I bet you and your child would be a lot happier (and healthier.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone needs to stop with the "formula is 100% just as good as breast milk" stuff. It's not.

Have you ever heard of a NICU or hospital anywhere in the world with a bottle of breastmilk from the baby's mom and decides not to give it because, "well the baby can just get some variety and formula is 100% just as good"???

Would any hospital anywhere not do whatever they knew how to do (which admittedly varies wildly) to help the mom produce milk for a new baby or especially a baby in the NICU who needs all the help they can get?

No, of course not. That's because formula is NOT as good as breastmilk. End of story.

I don't know what you're all arguing about. What are all the insults for? There's no need to make anyone feel bad for their choices. There are plenty of very "valid" reasons why breastfeeding doesn't work for a woman or a family - if she's sick, or doesn't produce enough, or is taking medications, has health issues, etc etc.

.

You are a moron. Go read the actual science on breastfeeding (though I suspect you could not understand any of it) and then come back.

- Extended BFer

The backlash against breastfeeding is insane. So, now people think it’s moronic for hospitals to give NICU babies breast milk?

You guys need to stop being so insecure. It’ll be okay. Really. You don’t to ridicule women who breastfeed just to make yourself feel better about giving your baby formula. In fact, you’d be much better off if you stopped obsessing about what other women are doing and focus on your own baby.

Would it be amazing if we could all just deal with our personal traumas and not take them out on other people ?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formula is convenient. May not be the best for a kid but it is convenient for the mom. I don't know about activism because as a mom who EBF, I don't give a damn if other moms don't bf their kids. My kid gets the best I can give and that what matters, not what other kids are being fed. There is enough literature available about benefits of BF, and I do not need to educate anyone.

Mean girls are selfish. To BF is opposite of being selfish. So your assertion does not make sense.

Should corporations have accomodations for working moms to pump at work or at work daycare etc. Yes. Absolutely.

Way to prove a point.

Seriously. To be so un-self-aware.

Yes, you are. This woman is not pushing anything on you. She made different choices and is totally down with you making your own.

Anonymous wrote:The mean girls i knew growing up, Kelly, I'm looking at you, did so because they were deeply insecure. Everyone does what they think is best for their baby, except, maybe, drug addict mothers, but that is not the audience we are talking to on DCUM. Everyone is educated and most are sane/functional.

The category of women who are still nursing preschoolers + should be ACTIVELY ignored/mocked. If a kid can eat a sandwich and be comforted with a hug and a snuggle, there no reason to put your boob in their mouth. It is 100% about the MOM's pleasure and validation.

OPINION

Anonymous wrote:The mean girls i knew growing up, Kelly, I'm looking at you, did so because they were deeply insecure. Everyone does what they think is best for their baby, except, maybe, drug addict mothers, but that is not the audience we are talking to on DCUM. Everyone is educated and most are sane/functional.

The category of women who are still nursing preschoolers + should be ACTIVELY ignored/mocked. If a kid can eat a sandwich and be comforted with a hug and a snuggle, there no reason to put your boob in their mouth. It is 100% about the MOM's pleasure and validation.

Oh, look, mean girl Exhibit B.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Formula is convenient. May not be the best for a kid but it is convenient for the mom. I don't know about activism because as a mom who EBF, I don't give a damn if other moms don't bf their kids. My kid gets the best I can give and that what matters, not what other kids are being fed. There is enough literature available about benefits of BF, and I do not need to educate anyone.

Mean girls are selfish. To BF is opposite of being selfish. So your assertion does not make sense.

Should corporations have accomodations for working moms to pump at work or at work daycare etc. Yes. Absolutely.

Way to prove a point.

Seriously. To be so un-self-aware.

The mean girls i knew growing up, Kelly, I'm looking at you, did so because they were deeply insecure. Everyone does what they think is best for their baby, except, maybe, drug addict mothers, but that is not the audience we are talking to on DCUM. Everyone is educated and most are sane/functional.

The category of women who are still nursing preschoolers + should be ACTIVELY ignored/mocked. If a kid can eat a sandwich and be comforted with a hug and a snuggle, there no reason to put your boob in their mouth. It is 100% about the MOM's pleasure and validation.