Anonymous wrote:I was surprised that there was no mention of the mother with special needs kids. While our parents had the luxury of letting us run free, we have an epidemic of ADHD/ Autistic children who are unable to manage independently as a typical child of their same chronological age.

And we are fighting the schools for minimally effective services and trying to figure it all out on our own.

Anonymous wrote:This unhappiness is because women have 'drank the Koolaid' instead of doing what makes them happy - regardless of your generation. If someone else is living your best life instead of you, then ask yourself why you built the life you have.

interesting thought

I was surprised that there was no mention of the mother with special needs kids. While our parents had the luxury of letting us run free, we have an epidemic of ADHD/ Autistic children who are unable to manage independently as a typical child of their same chronological age.

Anonymous wrote:The point is parenthood is a job in itself, add a career/job to it and it is stress fest. Few people with 2 jobs are enjoying their life. They struggle.

Excellent point.

Anonymous wrote:It gets better. Truly. I am now in the upswing of that U curve.

One thing I think might be missing, despite all our technology, is connecting with women (non-relatives) who are older. And wiser. Where is that community?

We've become too peer-focused IMO. There is so much we can all gain from women who are on the path ahead of us.

They may be a different generation and have lived through different trials but they still can help guide us.

I was in the upswing until caregiving for my elderly father hit me like a freight train. I feel like I’ve been knocked back into the depth of the baby years when I can’t pause the space of a breath but the baby can talk and until recently walk and drive.

Anonymous wrote:The point is parenthood is a job in itself, add a career/job to it and it is stress fest. Few people with 2 jobs are enjoying their life. They struggle.

very true. I was just thinking this morning how I would love sah spouse who handled all the house/kids stuff, and I could just focus on work. If I could do that, I'd be so much happier and probably make more money,too.

-signed a working mom with a working DH who also does his fair share, but it's still tough

The point is parenthood is a job in itself, add a career/job to it and it is stress fest. Few people with 2 jobs are enjoying their life. They struggle.

Anonymous wrote:This unhappiness is because women have 'drank the Koolaid' instead of doing what makes them happy - regardless of your generation. If someone else is living your best life instead of you, then ask yourself why you built the life you have.

Sorry, but this sounds like a line from an MLM playbook. This whole 21-century concept of “living your best life” just adds to unhappiness I think, and it breeds comparison and insecurity. I feel better living a “good enough under the circumstances” life.

I'm an older Gen X and I can only sort of relate to the article. While I do think that everyone has their own U curve in life based on many different factors - it's basically when your own personal life stresses go very high causing your sense of satisfaction to go way down (ex: stress of work, stress of aging parents, difficulties with children/school, ill spouse, financial worries, divorce) - I do not think that this is at all unique to women. I also think that it's possible to bottom out on the U curve earlier than late 40's and that some people stay bottomed out longer than others do. Some might have a very quick low point and more of a V curve, with things staying bad for a relatively short time. Others might wind up with a W (or repeated W) depending on their life circumstances.

This unhappiness is because women have 'drank the Koolaid' instead of doing what makes them happy - regardless of your generation. If someone else is living your best life instead of you, then ask yourself why you built the life you have.

Anonymous wrote:Weird. This is me demographically but I don't identify with the article at all. Maybe it'll catch to me in a couple of years. Married, 45, work FT, two kids in ES.

I'm a few years older than you with a kid starting K next year and a kid in ES and I think that having kids later and being focused on them because they are still quite young to some extent upends this model. I identified with some aspects of it but not all.

I’m fast realizing that it’s probably better for me to spend more time elsewhere, as my husband works very hard to keep me home so that he can have all the freedom he wants/needs to pursue his own stuff and avoid responsibility here. This long weekend? He pursued his sport for 7 hours on Sat, spent all day Sunday with family, and pursued his sport for 5 hours yesterday. He will also pursue his sport in off-hours from work at least three times this week, weather permitting. Rain? Pursue sport in garage.

Getting away for four days to drive kid back to college and combine that with family visit in that same area has him in internal fits, because he will not be free to pursue his sport as freely. Trying to convince my kid to have a car at college (doesn’t want or need one) and for me to get a full-time job here to carry benefits so he can make more $$ contracting with more freedom. Would love a full-time job, but doing it here means very few family visits out of state - I have NO family that’s not at least an 8 hour drive away. Suggested we move in a few years to pursue that goal, and he refuses to entertain that idea.

I will not be living out the rest of our marriage here. He doesn’t know that yet. He can file for divorce if he wants.

Age 46 + declining parents + child’s college entrance rat race + irregular periods + younger child’s hormone surge + the phenomenon of Trump = Prozac for me!

Still not perfect but I no longer feel the urge to stab people or get in the car and never return. Very low dose but it does help.

I was, fine, even great at 42. At 48, this article describes me to a T. I have fantasies about walking away from it all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup, i thought i had it all under control at 42, and 45. I’m 47.4 and want to walk away from it all....

I just turned 45. You guys are making me scared for what’s ahead! Why does it get worse?

Yes, please don't leave us hanging here. Is it menopause? Sandwich generation stuff?