Anonymous
Post 01/28/2020 14:19     Subject: Re:Rich husband always threatens divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Some of you sound incredibly low class and mean. This is a marriage whereby it's obvious she's contributed and takes care of this guy. He wants a nurse and a maid, but refuses to treat her with respect.

OP what did you actually sign before you married him? Does he have a 401k or a retirement? I'm sure you've talked to a lawyer, and he probably knows going on the 10 yr mark his pre-nup etc. may prove invalid.


where does it say she's contributed and takes care of him? She decorated his house and has said she is otherwise totally spoiled. I saw absolutely nothing that said he wanted a nurse and a maid.

I wouldn't respect my spouse either if they wanted half my money and assets for literally doing nothing.



Trust me!! I do take care of him in every way. Not only does he come home to a gourmet dinner at least 5 to 6xs a week, but because of me he has been able to see HIS own grandchildren more because I insist we should be more involved. If I left it up to him he’d see them once a yr. And he has thanked me for that. FYI we live in the same town. And I wasn’t looking for half of his assets. This all started because he’s a big talker and he is the one who said my name wld be on the next property he bought and I wasn’t expecting that but of course was really happy because it made me feel more valuable to him. When you sign a prenup that basically throws you a few bucks i think it empowers the wealthy party to treat you as they please and makes them less tolerant and have the upper hand. There is noway in hell my DH wld threaten divorce the way he does if he knew he had to split his money with me!! Or if tables were reversed. The disappointment I felt when I found out my name was nowhere on the home because he lied to me mostly.
And yes buying 3k faucets is with his credit cards that he owns. Like I said he doesn’t give me much cash . Maybe 1500 a year . And he checks the CC statements regularly to make sure there’s no big ticket items that are not for his home. I use to go to the salon a few times a week amounting to $1200 a month which he was completely fine with but when I asked him to give me that in cash instead omg hell no! He does everything in his power to limit my access to cash. I never understood this but now I know 100% he doesn’t want me stashing away money to keep me less likely to leave and keep the his power in our relationship.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2020 13:05     Subject: Re:Rich husband always threatens divorce
Anonymous wrote:Some of you sound incredibly low class and mean. This is a marriage whereby it's obvious she's contributed and takes care of this guy. He wants a nurse and a maid, but refuses to treat her with respect.

OP what did you actually sign before you married him? Does he have a 401k or a retirement? I'm sure you've talked to a lawyer, and he probably knows going on the 10 yr mark his pre-nup etc. may prove invalid.


where does it say she's contributed and takes care of him? She decorated his house and has said she is otherwise totally spoiled. I saw absolutely nothing that said he wanted a nurse and a maid.

I wouldn't respect my spouse either if they wanted half my money and assets for literally doing nothing.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2020 13:04     Subject: Rich husband always threatens divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Squirrel away money. Prepaid Visa cards are good for this. Be sweet and compliant and plan your exit. Get copies of all financial docs.


I did this for 5 years, was in a similar situation. I took some classes then quit and got them refunded. Lot's of ways to pad your get away.[/quot

I think I might need to buy a book on ways to get cash from credit card purchases! I did the cash back at grocery stores but on the credit card statements it will say the amount with the cash back amount . Busted! Lots of purchases made on credit cards will only return with the original payment .. I could get away with big purchases rt Now for the beach house decorating . I just bought 3k faucets. I could return and get $150 ones and he wouldn’t know the difference but they’d only return to original payment . I swear if he had the choice of giving me a 10k piece of jewelry or 5k in cash he’d never pick the cash ! It’s the weirdest thing . His aversion to giving me cash . But it has to be To keep me from stashing away money to keep more in control.

Updates: Today I saw his grown kids and they were so cold to me it was horrible. After they left I was in tears. I said this is what happens when you tell your family and friends all the details, your side of course, of our fights. He said oh well, they don’t want to see anyone abuse me . Omg I think he relishes in making me look like the bad guy and having people dislike me. I told him well you look like the fool for staying married to this “abusive woman”. Because I know when I’ve had friends complain constantly about their horrible partner but continue to stay with them I think they’re total dumbasses. That’s why I don’t tell my friend’s anything.


Why would you buy 3k faucets for a home that you don't own? Buy some clothes etc. and return them for cash. I'd start selling some of HIS stuff he won't notice missing. Apparently he doesn't want you to have any cash because that would empower you. He is an abuser and the court will see that.


She didn't buy $3000 faucets. She used credit cards paid entirely by him to buy $3000 faucets for his house. Now she wants to return them for $150 faucets and keep the $2850 balance because, you know, she's been slaving to decorate the house for the last 9 years and is entitled to half of it plus his cash.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2020 12:20     Subject: Rich husband always threatens divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Squirrel away money. Prepaid Visa cards are good for this. Be sweet and compliant and plan your exit. Get copies of all financial docs.


I did this for 5 years, was in a similar situation. I took some classes then quit and got them refunded. Lot's of ways to pad your get away.[/quot

I think I might need to buy a book on ways to get cash from credit card purchases! I did the cash back at grocery stores but on the credit card statements it will say the amount with the cash back amount . Busted! Lots of purchases made on credit cards will only return with the original payment .. I could get away with big purchases rt Now for the beach house decorating . I just bought 3k faucets. I could return and get $150 ones and he wouldn’t know the difference but they’d only return to original payment . I swear if he had the choice of giving me a 10k piece of jewelry or 5k in cash he’d never pick the cash ! It’s the weirdest thing . His aversion to giving me cash . But it has to be To keep me from stashing away money to keep more in control.

Updates: Today I saw his grown kids and they were so cold to me it was horrible. After they left I was in tears. I said this is what happens when you tell your family and friends all the details, your side of course, of our fights. He said oh well, they don’t want to see anyone abuse me . Omg I think he relishes in making me look like the bad guy and having people dislike me. I told him well you look like the fool for staying married to this “abusive woman”. Because I know when I’ve had friends complain constantly about their horrible partner but continue to stay with them I think they’re total dumbasses. That’s why I don’t tell my friend’s anything.


Why would you buy 3k faucets for a home that you don't own? Buy some clothes etc. and return them for cash. I'd start selling some of HIS stuff he won't notice missing. Apparently he doesn't want you to have any cash because that would empower you. He is an abuser and the court will see that.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2020 12:16     Subject: Re:Rich husband always threatens divorce
Some of you sound incredibly low class and mean. This is a marriage whereby it's obvious she's contributed and takes care of this guy. He wants a nurse and a maid, but refuses to treat her with respect.

OP what did you actually sign before you married him? Does he have a 401k or a retirement? I'm sure you've talked to a lawyer, and he probably knows going on the 10 yr mark his pre-nup etc. may prove invalid.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2020 09:26     Subject: Re:Rich husband always threatens divorce
OP - the concrete things you complained about are he cut off your credit cards and didn't put your name on the beach house. You literally are mad because he's not giving you money.

You are the definition of a gold digger. If I were his kids, i'd dislike you too.

And you spend all your time working with underprivileged kids and babysitting his grandkids? lol.

And you slaved away decorating his beach house so now you want half for your estate?

You're nuts.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2020 08:11     Subject: Rich husband always threatens divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Squirrel away money. Prepaid Visa cards are good for this. Be sweet and compliant and plan your exit. Get copies of all financial docs.


I did this for 5 years, was in a similar situation. I took some classes then quit and got them refunded. Lot's of ways to pad your get away.[/quot

I think I might need to buy a book on ways to get cash from credit card purchases! I did the cash back at grocery stores but on the credit card statements it will say the amount with the cash back amount . Busted! Lots of purchases made on credit cards will only return with the original payment .. I could get away with big purchases rt Now for the beach house decorating . I just bought 3k faucets. I could return and get $150 ones and he wouldn’t know the difference but they’d only return to original payment . I swear if he had the choice of giving me a 10k piece of jewelry or 5k in cash he’d never pick the cash ! It’s the weirdest thing . His aversion to giving me cash . But it has to be To keep me from stashing away money to keep more in control.

Updates: Today I saw his grown kids and they were so cold to me it was horrible. After they left I was in tears. I said this is what happens when you tell your family and friends all the details, your side of course, of our fights. He said oh well, they don’t want to see anyone abuse me . Omg I think he relishes in making me look like the bad guy and having people dislike me. I told him well you look like the fool for staying married to this “abusive woman”. Because I know when I’ve had friends complain constantly about their horrible partner but continue to stay with them I think they’re total dumbasses. That’s why I don’t tell my friend’s anything.


Honestly, OP, sell a piece of jewelry and use the money to see a lawyer.

FWIW, his kids owe you nothing. It doesn’t matter what he tells them - good or bad. You are an interloper who married into a family. Marriage alone doesn’t make a family; it takes years of consistent positive behavior towards someone to earn a family relationship that others are born into.

Frankly, you sound very immature, which doesn’t excuse your DH’s abusive behavior, but, really, please see an individual therapist. See someone in network so you don’t have to spend money on it. That person can help you grow up and plan your life and help you figure out how to get out of this abuse and make sure you don’t fall back in with someone else.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2020 07:54     Subject: Re:Rich husband always threatens divorce
If this is a real post, it’s insane that people like you OP reach for sympathy when you have done nothing to improve your situation. I can’t believe women like this exist, and further proves money means shit and if that’s all you married for you get what you deserve.
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2020 02:50     Subject: Rich husband always threatens divorce
Be careful with what you write online as well ... he may be snooping your online activity and reading this very thread. Use private browsing (Brave or incognito mode) so he cAnt track you
Anonymous
Post 01/28/2020 00:12     Subject: Rich husband always threatens divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Squirrel away money. Prepaid Visa cards are good for this. Be sweet and compliant and plan your exit. Get copies of all financial docs.


I did this for 5 years, was in a similar situation. I took some classes then quit and got them refunded. Lot's of ways to pad your get away.[/quot

I think I might need to buy a book on ways to get cash from credit card purchases! I did the cash back at grocery stores but on the credit card statements it will say the amount with the cash back amount . Busted! Lots of purchases made on credit cards will only return with the original payment .. I could get away with big purchases rt Now for the beach house decorating . I just bought 3k faucets. I could return and get $150 ones and he wouldn’t know the difference but they’d only return to original payment . I swear if he had the choice of giving me a 10k piece of jewelry or 5k in cash he’d never pick the cash ! It’s the weirdest thing . His aversion to giving me cash . But it has to be To keep me from stashing away money to keep more in control.

Updates: Today I saw his grown kids and they were so cold to me it was horrible. After they left I was in tears. I said this is what happens when you tell your family and friends all the details, your side of course, of our fights. He said oh well, they don’t want to see anyone abuse me . Omg I think he relishes in making me look like the bad guy and having people dislike me. I told him well you look like the fool for staying married to this “abusive woman”. Because I know when I’ve had friends complain constantly about their horrible partner but continue to stay with them I think they’re total dumbasses. That’s why I don’t tell my friend’s anything.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2020 12:35     Subject: Rich husband always threatens divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean you're a gold digger. Few true gold digger situations actually work out happily in the end. I'd probably be putting some restrictions on my husband if he did nothing but want to spend my money.


She married the guy when she was in her early 50's, he's still working so he's probably close to Op's age. This doesn't sound like a typical trophy wife, gold digger scenario to me. Usually those types of relationships involve a higher earning "rich" husband and a much younger wife who has babies and hires nannies to watch them while she shops and drinks champagne with her BFFs at the country club.

This guy sounds like a prince charming who lured Op in and then went crazy control freak on her.


Basically thats about right especially the last Prince Charming part! Actually he’s a few yrs younger then me. And he wanted me to quit working and take care of me and be in his words, “a lady of leisure”. I worked in the beauty field and the economy fall really hurt me. Since, I have become a gourmet cook and donate my time to underprivileged children and babysit his grandchildren(who love me more then him). I always worried this would happen because he’s always been a good husband and I always joked with him that he would end up showing his true colors as a controlling Douchebag like most men with money. He’s just been getting worse and worse with any argument, which is not very often, with threats of divorce. And now I have to really watch my steps and not make him angry or I might come home with a note that says, “I’m done!” and him gone like last time . I was thinking today to get a gemologist cert and work in a high end jewelry store. FYI I’m not a troll! This is all real what I’m dealing with . Which to me isn’t all that unusual. Rich man, poor woman, turning into a controlling jerk. I thought I was so lucky.


He's an abuser and no you're not out of bounds for wanting a normal marriage. At the very least he should make sure you can live in the home for the duration of your life. When things calm down I would try for that, otherwise don't sign anything. Check your state, but it's unlikely that he can waive your right to alimony. Also a prenup can be invalidated if it's too lopsided. And if there's a severe financial balance that will work in your favor if you divorce soon and things don't change. This would appear to be the case, but document everything. Get a safety deposit box and start putting away cash. At least it's something you can get to fast, and it doesn't leave a paper trail.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2020 11:41     Subject: Rich husband always threatens divorce
Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe how nice everyone is being to this. why do you feel entitled to his money anyway? You’ve been married 8 years, sounds like he had money before you met, He’s been supporting you and you’ve lived a good life. So now he’s a jerk, and you want half his stuff? What makes you so special? Grow up OP and start taking care of yourself. If he wants to give you gifts, fine. Get a job and start saving some cash.


This! It sounds like he's gotten sick of bankrolling a frivolous, parasitic spendthrift.
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2020 11:18     Subject: Rich husband always threatens divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Squirrel away money. Prepaid Visa cards are good for this. Be sweet and compliant and plan your exit. Get copies of all financial docs.


I did this for 5 years, was in a similar situation. I took some classes then quit and got them refunded. Lot's of ways to pad your get away.


Get cash back at the grocery store every time (as long as he doesn’t check receipts).
Anonymous
Post 01/27/2020 11:17     Subject: Rich husband always threatens divorce
Anonymous wrote:Squirrel away money. Prepaid Visa cards are good for this. Be sweet and compliant and plan your exit. Get copies of all financial docs.


I did this for 5 years, was in a similar situation. I took some classes then quit and got them refunded. Lot's of ways to pad your get away.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2020 18:29     Subject: Rich husband always threatens divorce
OP, you're in an abusive marriage. Straight-up. It's not your imagination.