Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, welcome to DCUM where people love to see SAHMs be punished and assume they will live in poverty forever.

When I divorced I was a SAHM for 11 years after working for about 15. 3 children spaced 2-3 years apart.

I was able to get a mortgage with a down payment of $400k and my income was my alimony and child support (and don’t tell me that’s just for children’s school supplies or whatever or I will ask what part of your paycheck goes to just Gymboree) and it was fine.

I got half his retirement, let that grow and will get half his SS.

I was able to SAH for about 3-4 more years and now work full time.

My husband was making ~ 600k throughout the marriage and I’m not hurting for money.

Your husband made close to $10M over the course of the marriage and you only got half a million is the point. OP seems to think she’s set for life or should be and even you - with a previous million-dollar household - went back to work in less than five years.

PP here. I’m not directly picking on you PP, but nowhere in my post did I say how much money I actually got from the divorce, how long we were married for, and what retirement I got.

I got way more than $400k, that’s just what I put down on a house. Over all I got closer to 1.5 million and besides the $400k I’m not touching anything and the bank easily gave me a mortgage just based on alimony and child support. Its declared as income on a tax return as well.

Anonymous wrote:Of course he wants the house. But what do you get for raising kids for ten years?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, welcome to DCUM where people love to see SAHMs be punished and assume they will live in poverty forever.

When I divorced I was a SAHM for 11 years after working for about 15. 3 children spaced 2-3 years apart.

I was able to get a mortgage with a down payment of $400k and my income was my alimony and child support (and don’t tell me that’s just for children’s school supplies or whatever or I will ask what part of your paycheck goes to just Gymboree) and it was fine.

I got half his retirement, let that grow and will get half his SS.

I was able to SAH for about 3-4 more years and now work full time.

My husband was making ~ 600k throughout the marriage and I’m not hurting for money.

Your husband made close to $10M over the course of the marriage and you only got half a million is the point. OP seems to think she’s set for life or should be and even you - with a previous million-dollar household - went back to work in less than five years.

PP here. I’m not directly picking on you PP, but nowhere in my post did I say how much money I actually got from the divorce, how long we were married for, and what retirement I got.

I got way more than $400k, that’s just what I put down on a house. Over all I got closer to 1.5 million and besides the $400k I’m not touching anything and the bank easily gave me a mortgage just based on alimony and child support. Its declared as income on a tax return as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, welcome to DCUM where people love to see SAHMs be punished and assume they will live in poverty forever.

When I divorced I was a SAHM for 11 years after working for about 15. 3 children spaced 2-3 years apart.

I was able to get a mortgage with a down payment of $400k and my income was my alimony and child support (and don’t tell me that’s just for children’s school supplies or whatever or I will ask what part of your paycheck goes to just Gymboree) and it was fine.

I got half his retirement, let that grow and will get half his SS.

I was able to SAH for about 3-4 more years and now work full time.

My husband was making ~ 600k throughout the marriage and I’m not hurting for money.

Your husband made close to $10M over the course of the marriage and you only got half a million is the point. OP seems to think she’s set for life or should be and even you - with a previous million-dollar household - went back to work in less than five years.

Anonymous wrote:Op, welcome to DCUM where people love to see SAHMs be punished and assume they will live in poverty forever.

When I divorced I was a SAHM for 11 years after working for about 15. 3 children spaced 2-3 years apart.

I was able to get a mortgage with a down payment of $400k and my income was my alimony and child support (and don’t tell me that’s just for children’s school supplies or whatever or I will ask what part of your paycheck goes to just Gymboree) and it was fine.

I got half his retirement, let that grow and will get half his SS.

I was able to SAH for about 3-4 more years and now work full time.

My husband was making ~ 600k throughout the marriage and I’m not hurting for money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My name isn't on the house. To buy him out, does that mean refinancing it in my name? If for some reason I can't buy him out, could he buy me out and I stay in the house as a renter? The other option might be renting a townhouse in a nearby school district, but then wouldn't he have to have the kids the majority of the school week to keep them in the same schools? Or do the schools not really care who has them as long as you can get them to school?

Here is another example (in MoCo). Husband was on the mortgage, wife gave up career to SAH.

Divorce decree allowed her to stay in the home for 36 months (he continued paying the mortgage, electricity, and gas). She received child support. She went back to school for her masters, then began working.

At the end of 36 months, she moved out, husband moved in. It's his house.

By then she was ready to buy her own home.

That depends if home was bought pre or post marriage, wife's age and length of marriage.

No way a 20 year marriage of a SAHM when house was bought jointly gets that deal. A 55 year old SAHM who left workforce for good at 30 is not the same as a 40 year old SAHM who left work force at 35. The 55 year old will never replicate her lifestyle.

Also make sure Dad pays 100 percent the kids college!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My name isn't on the house. To buy him out, does that mean refinancing it in my name? If for some reason I can't buy him out, could he buy me out and I stay in the house as a renter? The other option might be renting a townhouse in a nearby school district, but then wouldn't he have to have the kids the majority of the school week to keep them in the same schools? Or do the schools not really care who has them as long as you can get them to school?

Here is another example (in MoCo). Husband was on the mortgage, wife gave up career to SAH.

Divorce decree allowed her to stay in the home for 36 months (he continued paying the mortgage, electricity, and gas). She received child support. She went back to school for her masters, then began working.

At the end of 36 months, she moved out, husband moved in. It's his house.

By then she was ready to buy her own home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My name isn't on the house. To buy him out, does that mean refinancing it in my name? If for some reason I can't buy him out, could he buy me out and I stay in the house as a renter? The other option might be renting a townhouse in a nearby school district, but then wouldn't he have to have the kids the majority of the school week to keep them in the same schools? Or do the schools not really care who has them as long as you can get them to school?

Here is another example (in MoCo). Husband was on the mortgage, wife gave up career to SAH.

Divorce decree allowed her to stay in the home for 36 months (he continued paying the mortgage, electricity, and gas). She received child support. She went back to school for her masters, then began working.

At the end of 36 months, she moved out, husband moved in. It's his house.

By then she was ready to buy her own home.