OP here.

Thank you for the constructive remarks. And to the non-constructive remarks, I want to emphasize that I am NOT trying to just excuse my kid's behavior or performance. I am trying to figure out how to help my kid be more engaged and enjoy school, which right now is a big struggle.

His teacher in the assessment given to the psych. generally focused on attention issues, sloppiness, attention to detail, etc. Basically, a narrative that would support ADHD testing. The issue is that the workup did not support this. Like...at all.

So, we're back to trying to make the most of things. His teacher basically sees his behavior as (1) not giving effort (true); (2) defiant (well, possibly true), and (3) his performance is what it is. She isn't willing to go beyond what the pacing guide expects her to do, she is not going to modify her instruction absent an IEP and based on the I-ready he needs serious remediation and support notwithstanding other data points pointing to the opposite conclusion.

Basically, this teacher and my kid aren't jiving and I am trying to figure out how to be a good partner to the teacher and bridge this gap with minimal success.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When the kids comment the work is easy or boring, ask them to prove it by giving you excellent grades. Easy =/ bad grade.

Gifted or not, they need to have good work ethics.

You think children are small adults, right?

I do If they are gifted, they should certainly understand this. Okok, maybe not for K-2, but surely grade 3 and up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When the kids comment the work is easy or boring, ask them to prove it by giving you excellent grades. Easy =/ bad grade.

Gifted or not, they need to have good work ethics.

You think children are small adults, right?

No. I do think that kids in school need to complete their work and do what their Teachers ask them to do. And I expect them to do it without eye rolls.

I remind my son that the Teacher is asking him to show his work to make sure that he understands the concept that they are learning. Just writing down the answer and skipping the show your work part doesn't show the Teacher that you understand the concept.

Once DS shows his Teacher he understands the concept and can get the correct answer his Teacher allows them to move onto the next segment. In LA, he has a host of options he can choose to do when he completed his work properly. So he finishes and then he chooses something off that list to do. Any work that comes home incomplete is completed at home and returned to school.

Anonymous wrote:When the kids comment the work is easy or boring, ask them to prove it by giving you excellent grades. Easy =/ bad grade.

Gifted or not, they need to have good work ethics.

You think children are small adults, right?

When the kids comment the work is easy or boring, ask them to prove it by giving you excellent grades. Easy =/ bad grade.

Gifted or not, they need to have good work ethics.

Anonymous wrote:PP of the last post. I am not the OP, that was poorly worded on my part.

I agree. OP see if giving some incentives may help with his behavior at school. Especially if the teacher has extra material to give out if he finishes, or will just let him quietly work on something of his choice, or read a book. I believe 2nd grade teachers should already have an arsenal of incentives set up for them, they normally need to do it since at this age many kids rewards to get through everything that they're making them do in school.

OP, does he do enrichment outside of school? It's easier to put up with some drudgery when you get to do engaging things at other points in in your day. I'd try an assortment of piano or violin, chess club, robotics club, a new language or Odyssey of the Mind. Find an activity or two that challenge him.

PP of the last post. I am not the OP, that was poorly worded on my part.

OP: We reward DS for his effort score and not his grades. He brings home mainly 4's with the occasional 3. But we look straight at the effort score and that is what we discuss. All 3's and 4's in effort allows him to choose a special activity, going out to the movies, dinner, or bowling. We comment that his grades are great and they reflect that he is doing a good job making his best effort. He knows that if he comes home with an effort score below a 3 we are going to be disappointed. He did bring home a 2 in writing, there was no issue because his LA effort score was a 4. We did talk to the Teacher about writing and it turns out he needs to work on punctuation and capitalization. We are working on that at home but he still go to pick his reward.

He has told us that what they are doing is boring and we let him know that we hear him. We suggest he make up extra math problems or find something to write about when he finishes his work. But he cannot do anything that disrupts his classmates. There are others who don't find the work easy and they need to be able to do their work without being distracted. His Teachers have different activities that the can do when they are done with their work, either books to read or paper to draw on or write on.

I would focus on correcting his attitude. It is ok for the work to be easy but he has to complete it and without attitude. Tell him that he is learning to show his work and demonstrate that he knows the material. Once he has done that, he is more likely to do what he wants once the work is done then if he simply refuses to do what he told to do. If DS was unwilling to do the work he is expected to do or is rolling his eyes at his teachers he would be losing privileges at home and completing the work at home to return to school.

My DD (generally pretty smart kid, now in our district's advanced/gifted program) found second grade to be just brutal.
My sense is that 2nd is really just a holding patter. There's the whole mantra of "learning to read thought 2nd, and the reading to learn in 3rd" so they basically just hold the curriculum in second to make sure that everyone can read, add, and subtract reasonably well.
In our experience K and 1st was generally more flexible and offered more differentiation, but 2nd was just repeating 1st grade work, and not letting kids move on to 3rd grade work (ie, reading real novels and multiplication/division, etc.)

So just get through the year, OP. Don't make any drastic decisions or conclusions based on this year. Hopefully your kid gets into AAP, and if he doesn't on the first shot, definitely appeal. If he's still really struggling once he gets well into a good 3rd grade program, then you might have to worry about behavior and stuff, but for now... just survive the year.

How old was he when the fsiq was done?

I think these tests (WISC cogat NNAT) measure about 10% of what makes an intelligent person. Your kid did well on that 10% but clearly is not so good at the other elements not tested. I wouldn’t be too concerned. Your psych did not flag any LDs. Kids develop at different rates, and not every child is going to have all the gifts. Let your child be himself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing about so-called gifted kids who don't do well in school is success in life isn't measured by how many GIFTS or TALENTS you have. It's measured by hustle, work ethic and determination.

My concern with "gifted education" in places like this is it's a label people are quick to slap on a 6 or 7 year old and then with it comes either a sense of entitlement (for the parents) and a tendency to make excuses for bad behavior, laziness, whatever.

I am hard pressed to wonder what's a better framework for learning than school and if a child is truly "profoundly gifted" than a dedicated parent would be seeking those resources rather than making demands on a public school system. This may mean homeschooling with tutors or private school or whatever. But it's tiresome when people come on message boards and whine "my kid is soooo gifted, why aren't they doing more to challenge him? He's soooo bored."

Actually, one of the main reasons gifted education is mandated in so many places is that many gifted kids are underachieving for whatever reason. The idea is to apply interventions to get those kids back on track, so they can be successful adults rather than high school dropouts. Gifted high-achievers, non-gifted high-achievers, and gifted underachievers are three very different groups with very different educational needs. The gifted underachievers are the ones who need AAP the most, but are the ones least well served by it. I have two kids in AAP: A gifted high-achiever who is bored and hates school, but still does what is needed to get 4s, and a non-gifted high-achiever who would bloom wherever that kid is planted, even in gen ed.

Gifted, underachieving 7 year olds may have an undiagnosed learning disability. They may have undiagnosed autism, depression, anxiety, ADHD, or something else like that. They may just be immature and will grow out of it. They certainly need a program that engages them so they can develop that hustle, work ethic, and determination. FCPS is going about things the wrong way by prioritizing the non-gifted high achievers over the kids who are gifted and need a real gifted program.

God bless you for speaking the truth

Anonymous wrote:The thing about so-called gifted kids who don't do well in school is success in life isn't measured by how many GIFTS or TALENTS you have. It's measured by hustle, work ethic and determination.

My concern with "gifted education" in places like this is it's a label people are quick to slap on a 6 or 7 year old and then with it comes either a sense of entitlement (for the parents) and a tendency to make excuses for bad behavior, laziness, whatever.

I am hard pressed to wonder what's a better framework for learning than school and if a child is truly "profoundly gifted" than a dedicated parent would be seeking those resources rather than making demands on a public school system. This may mean homeschooling with tutors or private school or whatever. But it's tiresome when people come on message boards and whine "my kid is soooo gifted, why aren't they doing more to challenge him? He's soooo bored."

Actually, one of the main reasons gifted education is mandated in so many places is that many gifted kids are underachieving for whatever reason. The idea is to apply interventions to get those kids back on track, so they can be successful adults rather than high school dropouts. Gifted high-achievers, non-gifted high-achievers, and gifted underachievers are three very different groups with very different educational needs. The gifted underachievers are the ones who need AAP the most, but are the ones least well served by it. I have two kids in AAP: A gifted high-achiever who is bored and hates school, but still does what is needed to get 4s, and a non-gifted high-achiever who would bloom wherever that kid is planted, even in gen ed.

Gifted, underachieving 7 year olds may have an undiagnosed learning disability. They may have undiagnosed autism, depression, anxiety, ADHD, or something else like that. They may just be immature and will grow out of it. They certainly need a program that engages them so they can develop that hustle, work ethic, and determination. FCPS is going about things the wrong way by prioritizing the non-gifted high achievers over the kids who are gifted and need a real gifted program.

[quote=Anonymous]

Right, but it's (again) worth reading OP's post carefully. Directly from it: [i]"(We are constantly talking to him about staying on task, trying his best, etc.)."[/i] I'd like to see a higher level of discussion because this is an interesting thread (and I think the OP's problem is likely more common that we think). Let's argue to find solutions, not devolve into fighting.[/quote]

I agree it is interesting, and am not fighting (nor have any motivation for it to be a fight]. To me it is just not a simple issue, as some may suggest, that this school (AAP, FCPS, public education, whatever scale you want to consider) fails gifted children and you need to push/advocate for better or gifted children fail. I think as another PP said there may be shortcomings from a teacher/school and while of course you can address that, that is not the only thing to consider. I agree with that PPs observations about seeing where gifted acquaintances ended up in life having seen similar. Therefore I find it really important to make sure my child knows being gifted, even being smart or a quick learner, is not the real achievement; what he personally chooses and works to do with that - that is the real achievement. We try to focus not just on success in school, which is good but not the end-all be-all.