Anonymous wrote:Op here. It’s been hard to piece together exactly what happened because her memories are all over the place. We connected all the dots yesterday. She is really happy and attached to the teacher/ school and I don’t want to pull her out bc I don’t want her to feel like she is being punished. I’d rather that the boys are moved from the classroom.

Something similar happened at Lafayette a few years ago. The boy was moved to. Different classroom from the girls but he kept up the same behavior for years. Hope your situation works out better.

OP, How are you doing and what did you decide?

OP, I am so sorry to hear of this situation. I was a social worker at a children's hospital in a different large city. We had hundreds of abuse and neglect cases each year. I am sorry to say this situation sounds very real. 3 year olds rarely ever make an accusation like this unless something really happened. I'm glad you took her to the pediatrician. I'm not familiar with Safe Shores, but many cities have a coordinating center serving kids who are potential victims of abuse or neglect, that will do one exam, one interview, etc. that others can observe as appropriate, rather than multiple exams and multiple interviews, unless the situation is immediate (e.g., person was raped and hospital needs to collect evidence that day).

I am beyond furious at the school. They are mandated reporters and should be reported to the public charter school board and any other governing bodies. Most mandated reporters will be fired for not reporting. What some don't get is that nobody is asking them whether or not something happened, just asking child protective services to investigate a suspicion of something happening. What you describe certainly qualifies.

The alleged perpetrators also need help. Anyone who does something like that to another kid may be at risk of something difficult happening in their own home. This is not normal, not remotely.

I'll be thinking about your family and hoping you get the help you deserve.

I’m so sorry, OP. I seriously don’t understand why the other student wasn’t asked to leave the school. I had a 3 year old that ran out of preschool classroom with a pencil, and stood on a table, and they asked her to leave the school because it wasn’t safe. I can’t imagine keeping a child abusing other children. Also having someone check your child at an er is better because they have special nurses that know how to specifically look for signs of abuse. Hopefully this never happens again but next time go to the ER, report to CPS, then advise the school you did both and ask what the hell they are going to do about it to ensure YOUR child has a safe environment. I’m so sorry this happened and please get her into therapy so she doesn’t have other issues that fester from this. Hugs.

Op I am so sorry your family is going through this. I have dealt with sexual abuse Of my preschooler before too and it is the worst gut wrenching feeling. If you need a good therapist recommendation the Gil institute specializes in this area.
http://www.gilinstitute.com/

No advice just so sorry for your child and your family.

OP, just a reminder to you (and everyone else) that you have zero obligations to answer any prying and invasive questions on this board. You've gotten good advice, which I hope has been helpful. Anyone saying, well, what exactly was penetrated? By what? who when how what what what does not require a response. Their skepticism is meaningless and a reflection of them, not you, your child, or the situation. Talking about it here generally is good - ignore the people who press for salacious details.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP--I know of situations within DCPS where there are emergency transfers to schools *of your choice* for far less difficult cases. DCPS central office has the ability to place students wherever they want, any time. If there is a DCPS school close to you that would be a good fit for your family, it may be worth a try to contact DCPS.

Maybe start with the Office of Family Engagement and see where that takes you:

https://dcps.dc.gov/node/1132037

OP’s child is at a charter. DCPS cannot help.

That sounds definitive. One can always ask. And perhaps the Charter Board could help in a similar way, by finding an alternate school. OSSE May also be a good resource for an emergency placement

Anonymous wrote:OP--I know of situations within DCPS where there are emergency transfers to schools *of your choice* for far less difficult cases. DCPS central office has the ability to place students wherever they want, any time. If there is a DCPS school close to you that would be a good fit for your family, it may be worth a try to contact DCPS.

Maybe start with the Office of Family Engagement and see where that takes you:

https://dcps.dc.gov/node/1132037

OP’s child is at a charter. DCPS cannot help.

OP--I know of situations within DCPS where there are emergency transfers to schools *of your choice* for far less difficult cases. DCPS central office has the ability to place students wherever they want, any time. If there is a DCPS school close to you that would be a good fit for your family, it may be worth a try to contact DCPS.

Maybe start with the Office of Family Engagement and see where that takes you:

https://dcps.dc.gov/node/1132037

Whether or not the allegations can be proven by the OP or by the school, the school is required to report it to CFSA so that an appropriate investigation can occur. A KIPP principal recently faced criminal charges for failing to report on time (she made the report a week late).

OP, the school probably has an executive director or CEO. Call that person ASAP to get your daughter transferred to a different classroom where she/you will feel it is safer. To other posters, we all get that three-year-olds may be unreliable reporters, however, isn't it better to be safe than sorry?

OP. Your DD’s reaction obviously suggests something bad happened... but 3 year olds are not reliable narrators, especially long after the fact. Did you actually see blood? Or did your DD just mention blood? Because her story definitely doesn’t sound like “penetration” and, tbh, I’m still not sure exactly what you mean by that in the context of a very prepubescent perp; penetration with what exactly?

OP, I'm sorry this happened. It sounds stressful, but it also sounds like you are doing things right. I understand why you would not necessarily want to switch schools, because that would feel like a punishment. Your story sounds similar to what happened to a friend's daughter, but just touching in her case. The school's reaction is sounds similar. Did you actually see blood?

OP, just curious the timeline of when everything happened and when you found out? It sounds like you weren’t immediately told and I wonder if the school is trying to deny anything happened—hence not reporting?

OP, if this assistant principal who encouraged you to be “professional” has not reported the situation to CPS herself now, she is violating the ethics of being a mandated reporter and she should be fired, for cause, immediately, as should any other adult in the building who knew and didn’t report it immediately. I am outraged and appalled and also desperately want to know what school allows issues like this to be treated so poorly so I can make sure NOT to send my preschooler there next year. I understand why you wouldn’t want to name the school, but I really wish I knew it anyway.