Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dating as a single Mom with full custody has not been easy for me. I am a firm believer of keeping my dating life and kids separate...this makes dating much different. In addition, the logistics are difficult and your availability is limited. You’ll need to arrange and pay for a sitter for every date .... there is zero spontaneity. You’ll feel guilty if you go out too much so once a week is about it. There is also no sleeping over at either place ...which can be frustrating for guys and yourself. You’ll be better off dating divorced men with kids because they’ll understand your unavailability.

Unfortunately, I don't think many divorced men with kids are interested in a single mom. It's hard to date as a single dad, but when I was a single dad, single moms were a hard pass for me. It's kind of like how 2s want to date badly, but they want to date 6s or 8s. Not other 2s. And no 6 or 8 wants to date a 2.

Anonymous wrote:

Childless man here. Women are not commodities. The reality for most of us is, if we are into you, we do not care about your circumstances.

We don't care about your job. We don't care about your kids. We don't care about your master's degree.

We care about YOU. DCUM will say I don't know what I'm talking about because I'm a man, but it's the truth.

Ladies, find this man's number. Because almost no other man agrees with him. I'm a PP who was a temporary single dad. I wish everyone had an equal chance in dating, but it's just not true. Replace this guy's words with, "We don't care if you're short," "We don't care if you're bald,", "We don't care if you can get an erection." Because that's the magnitude of importance for a woman with kids. He IS correct about job and masters degree. 99% of men couldn't care less about your employment status or education. It's all about physical attractiveness, meshing of personalities, and NO BAGGAGE (baggage could include psych problems, family problems, KIDS, etc.)

The question, as always, is "care about... for what?"

A man who is looking for a ONS or FWB will not care about your job, kids, education, only about your physical attractiveness. In that scenario, looks are necessary and sufficient.

A man who is looking for an LTR or marriage will care about your job, kids, and education - at least, if he has any sense at all - because he will not want to get saddled with a trashy gold-digger no matter how hot she is. He will still require physical attractiveness - however, in this scenario, looks are necessary but not sufficient.

Childless man here. Women are not commodities. The reality for most of us is, if we are into you, we do not care about your circumstances.

We don't care about your job. We don't care about your kids. We don't care about your master's degree.

We care about YOU. DCUM will say I don't know what I'm talking about because I'm a man, but it's the truth.

Ladies, find this man's number. Because almost no other man agrees with him. I'm a PP who was a temporary single dad. I wish everyone had an equal chance in dating, but it's just not true. Replace this guy's words with, "We don't care if you're short," "We don't care if you're bald,", "We don't care if you can get an erection." Because that's the magnitude of importance for a woman with kids. He IS correct about job and masters degree. 99% of men couldn't care less about your employment status or education. It's all about physical attractiveness, meshing of personalities, and NO BAGGAGE (baggage could include psych problems, family problems, KIDS, etc.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I divorced at age 35 when my daughter was a baby. Adopted another child and was a single mom with two (young) kids by age 37. I am very average looking. Financially sound.

I found online dating to be a real boon because any potential dates knew your situation right off the bat so avoided situations where the potential date was not OK with a single mom etc.

I dated from the time my kids were babies (including while going through the adoption). I found lots of great men that were fine with the situation-- and were flexible with my schedule (especially with early dates being weekday lunch dates or around my preferred babysitter's schedule etc.). Some of the men had kids, plenty were childless.

I found the hardest years to date were when my kids were tweens/young teens. They need a lot of driving around at that age, they sleep less, are nosier and more generally aware so more explanations are needed but they are not yet mature enough to really "understand."

The only real tough time I had dating was when I had put on some significant weight.... As soon as I took that back off, I had plenty of dating opportunities.

Good luck! Congrats from getting out of a bad situation. I never regretted my choice to divorce or my adoption or being a mom first or dating while being a single mom.

I find this very interesting. I’m really curious though. I know quite a few single moms and many of them say they get a lot of interest from childless men. Most of them ended marrying childless men.

It makes me wonder why a childless man would consider a single mom. Because a single mom usually has kids and that’s a lot of responsibility. Also, what makes him choose a single mom over a childless woman?

I’m not hating on single mom’s. I’m just curious as to how they get dates from childless men. I know plenty of childless men who outright refuse to marry single moms and have a negative attitude towards them. They refer to them as baggage. But I haven’t really come across childless men who willingly date single moms.

If you or any PP were single moms and received interest from childless men, I’m just curious to how these men were like and what were there reasons in not minding to peruse you when they had other options?