Anonymous wrote:Of course I love my children and would always want them near me, but more I want them to experience everything the world has to offer. I hope they live somewhere exciting and have a fun life.

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Anonymous wrote:But upper income kids are more likely to go further. It is very much related to socioeconomic status.

I assume upper income people are more likely to live far away from their families as adults as well?

I find sad and problematic about US culture

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Anonymous wrote:I absolutely want my grown children to live near me. My own parents were a daily, loved presence in my kids’ lives as they were growing up. That relationship is something we all cherished, and I’d love to be that close to my own grandkids.

I’m an empty nester now, and 2 of my 4 kids live nearby. The other 2 are far away for career (son) & school (daughter). I never limited their prospects & let them know they could apply anywhere, but I also never disguised my wish that they would settle near us.

I do think we’re an exception because DH and I have been in the Mid-Atlantic region our entire lives, and though we’ve traveled extensively, we’re most happy here. FWIW, our kids all love this area too, and I can only hope they’ll stick around when they have kids of their own.

+1. This is exactly how I feel, and can’t think of any of my friends and family with kids who feel differently. I guess I just associate with closed-minded, “provincial” types.

If my kids end up on the other side of the country, so be it. But our preference is for them to settle nearby, and I hope to enjoy a close relationship with any grandkids and be there to help with them. Something I never had, with grandparents far away.

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t buy that going away to college makes it more likely that a DC will be is gone forever.

What if DC marries someone from another part of the country — say Chicago or Hartford. Will you object because it increases the risk they will settle near their spouse’s family and not you?

There is a great value in experiencing life in another part of the country or the world. College is a good time to start to do that.

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t buy that going away to college makes it more likely that a DC will be is gone forever.

What if DC marries someone from another part of the country — say Chicago or Hartford. Will you object because it increases the risk they will settle near their spouse’s family and not you?

There is a great value in experiencing life in another part of the country or the world. College is a good time to start to do that.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to restrict my kid’s opportunities. Life is an adventure especially when you are young. I hope he returns to this area but if not, that’s fine. There is a whole big world to be experienced. Why get stuck in one tiny corner of it?

Anonymous wrote:It has never been my goal for my children to remain in this area because it is not my choice. As they grow into adults, choose careers, follow opportunities, etc. I want them to make their own decisions about where they will live. I don't fear my kids going away to college--I think it is an exciting opportunity. One went 500+ miles away, another went 300 miles, one went 75 miles. For us, distance was not part of the deciding factors; they had a budget and had to stick to it.

A good relationship with your kid(s) is the best assurance of their return.

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Anonymous wrote:Staying one's whole life in, say, Virginia, or even in a three-state radius, sounds awfully limiting for one's career prospects.

There's a lot more to life than career.

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Anonymous wrote:I find it amazing that people on this board don't seemed fazed about their kids going very far away for college. If a kid goes to college far away, it greatly reduces their chances of returning after graduation. That being said many people in the DC area aren't originally from here and may not have plans to stay here indefinitely, so maybe that's it. They never expected to live close to their kids once they reached adulthood anyways. As for me, my entire family lives in VA, and it seems normal to be close to family. The idea of only seeing my adult kids 2x a year is heartbreaking. If my kid really wanted to go far away to school, I would allow, but I will be honest, I'm certainly not encouraging it in any way.

This is abnormal thinking. Cut the apron strings already.

NP. This is not abnormal thinking at all. Quite the contrary.

+1 the idea of living hours away from family and only seeing them a few times per year is not at all the norm anywhere in the world except for certain pockets or the US. In Fact this is one of the things I find sad and problematic about US culture.

Oh my dear. I am European and have cousins who lived or are currently living on every continent except Antartica. My father left his family to lived permanently on the other side of the world. My nephews have lived or plan to live on different continents than the ones they grew up in.

We are a much, much, larger group than you think, poor ignorant person.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amazing that people on this board don't seemed fazed about their kids going very far away for college. If a kid goes to college far away, it greatly reduces their chances of returning after graduation. That being said many people in the DC area aren't originally from here and may not have plans to stay here indefinitely, so maybe that's it. They never expected to live close to their kids once they reached adulthood anyways. As for me, my entire family lives in VA, and it seems normal to be close to family. The idea of only seeing my adult kids 2x a year is heartbreaking. If my kid really wanted to go far away to school, I would allow, but I will be honest, I'm certainly not encouraging it in any way.

This is abnormal thinking. Cut the apron strings already.

NP. This is not abnormal thinking at all. Quite the contrary.

+1 the idea of living hours away from family and only seeing them a few times per year is not at all the norm anywhere in the world except for certain pockets or the US. In Fact this is one of the things I find sad and problematic about US culture.

Anonymous wrote:In some jobs geographic mobility is expected, particularly in academia.