I wonder, too, if my husband and I were drawn to each other because of our shared experiences with narcissistic parents (my mom, his dad). Both of our parents were always performing, always dramatic, even when it came to adopting children, animals or contributing to charities. Nothing was done for any purpose other than self-promotion.

Anonymous wrote:My friends never saw through my narcissistic mother. Honestly, I see the ways she is mean to me, but she still does a lot of good in the world.

Now that she's a batty, cranky old woman, everyone sees through her. Her inability to actually accurately assess the dynamics of any given situation have not served her well.

I feel sorry for her because she is such a user that she has no real friends who live near her. She's just too mean. Oh well. Best I can do is not become her.

I can relate to this some. Most people did not see through my mother. Another factor was she was quite stunning in her youth so when she did show glimpses of her NPD, people let it go. I think some people almost developed girl crushes on her as many of my friends would comment on how pretty she was. If she were ugly showing the same glimpses, I suspect they would have been quicker to assume she was not a nice person.

Anonymous wrote:That narc translation dictionary is painfully hilarious.

link?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever had anyone gush to you about how charming and wonderful your narc mother is even after you shared your abusive childhood? I swear people literally fall in love with my mother. When she turns it on women my age develop girl crushes on her.

No. Friends were always like "your mom is mad"

strangers however, seem to love her.

A lot of people loved and still love my mother. My friends tho called her "the anti-mother." When she heard that she said, "Well they only know your side of the story."

One of the hardest parts for me is realizing that people will never know the truth. People love my parents think they're great and wonderful and probably wouldn't believe the horrible things my parents did.

Anonymous wrote:If it’s any consolation OP, both of my parents are narcissists. My father is overt and my mother is covert. I haven’t had any contact in 2.5 years and it feels great!

Both of my parents are narcissists. My father ( who has now passed) was overt and my mother is covert. I also have a narcissists sibling. I didn't come to understand that they were narcissists and their behavior until about 2 years ago when I was looking into my own therapy. The light bulb going off. I still haven't completely severed the relationship because I thought I could have a normal parent/child relationship. I have finally come to accept that this isn't possible. That hurts a lot.

I wish I could get my younger sibling to see our mother is a narcissist and our older sibling is too, she's about to have her first child, and I have hope that this will be her awakening.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you both. When I fell pregnant with my first child I asked her if she wanted to feel the baby kick and she spat at me "God no. I think its time you grew up"

I never knew it was because it wasn't about her. It has taken me years.

She thinks she is a sweet old, harmless lady and actually her nickname amongst some of us is "tyrant". That is what my sibling's psychiatrist has called her. Tyrant.

Oh gosh! When I told my mother I was pregnant with my first, she said, "Ugh. I don't want to see you like that."

Your mother and mine would get along great.

Lol... mine asked how much weight I had gained

Anonymous wrote:I hear you both. When I fell pregnant with my first child I asked her if she wanted to feel the baby kick and she spat at me "God no. I think its time you grew up"

I never knew it was because it wasn't about her. It has taken me years.

She thinks she is a sweet old, harmless lady and actually her nickname amongst some of us is "tyrant". That is what my sibling's psychiatrist has called her. Tyrant.

Oh gosh! When I told my mother I was pregnant with my first, she said, "Ugh. I don't want to see you like that."

Your mother and mine would get along great.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever had anyone gush to you about how charming and wonderful your narc mother is even after you shared your abusive childhood? I swear people literally fall in love with my mother. When she turns it on women my age develop girl crushes on her.

No. Friends were always like "your mom is mad"

strangers however, seem to love her.

A lot of people loved and still love my mother. My friends tho called her "the anti-mother." When she heard that she said, "Well they only know your side of the story."

You could tell your mom that your friends said that? If I did it would set off a tirade to end all tirades, but I do think "they only know your side of the story" would be shrieked at some point. She might actually said she plans to call them herself to share her side.

LOL my mother would definitely do that but be covert about it.

Yes, I realized in my mid-late 30s. Death by a thousand paper cuts.

My friends never saw through my narcissistic mother. Honestly, I see the ways she is mean to me, but she still does a lot of good in the world.

Now that she's a batty, cranky old woman, everyone sees through her. Her inability to actually accurately assess the dynamics of any given situation have not served her well.

I feel sorry for her because she is such a user that she has no real friends who live near her. She's just too mean. Oh well. Best I can do is not become her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever had anyone gush to you about how charming and wonderful your narc mother is even after you shared your abusive childhood? I swear people literally fall in love with my mother. When she turns it on women my age develop girl crushes on her.

No. Friends were always like "your mom is mad"

strangers however, seem to love her.

A lot of people loved and still love my mother. My friends tho called her "the anti-mother." When she heard that she said, "Well they only know your side of the story."

You could tell your mom that your friends said that? If I did it would set off a tirade to end all tirades, but I do think "they only know your side of the story" would be shrieked at some point. She might actually said she plans to call them herself to share her side.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever had anyone gush to you about how charming and wonderful your narc mother is even after you shared your abusive childhood? I swear people literally fall in love with my mother. When she turns it on women my age develop girl crushes on her.

No. Friends were always like "your mom is mad"

strangers however, seem to love her.

A lot of people loved and still love my mother. My friends tho called her "the anti-mother." When she heard that she said, "Well they only know your side of the story."