Anonymous wrote:I think the scolding would make me more upset than the actual “cleaning” of the Legos. She messed up and her response was to deflect to her grandson.
Not okay.

+1. The cleaning was a mistake. Her comment to grandson was unacceptable. Not her place to decide that toys need to be picked up.

Anonymous wrote:I can totally see my mother doing something like this and having the exact same response. I figured out years ago that the reason my mom can never acknowledge her mistakes is because her self-esteem is so low that she can't tolerate criticism or disappointment.

+1. The lesson son is going to learn is whether mom will defend son, or whether mom lines up with grandma’s “no big deal and it’s your fault anyway nonsense.” Grandma is a lost cause here anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I did ask her and her response was “how was I supposed to know!” She told me she would write him a note an apologize. Admitting to a mistake is not something my mom really does. My dad was pretty upset with her too. He offered to help my son sort them out and start putting some back together.

Ugh. Your mom needs some coaching. She needs to make the apology in person. Have her write the note but then make her say it in person. A 6 year old needs to hear this from his grandmother. A note will not cut it. And she needs to be the one to help him re-sort the pieces.

Your son wants his pieces sorted.
He doesn't care less about the apology without that action.

Really? He can sort them. They're his Legos.

So fragile.

Funny how this didn’t come into play when grandma decided to destroy them.

What if the grandson had decided to undo all of grandma’s cross stitch because it looked messy? Or if he’d decided to put her (hand wash only) China in the dishwasher to be helpful and damaged ALL of it? Would you still be saying the grandma was being “fragile” for being upset? Would the grandson be exempt from apologizing?

Huh? I'm saying that you people who think Grandma should sort the pieces are nuts.

And this is a good time to teach DS how to handle being upset appropriately. Not making it into a bigger issue than it already is.

You’re missing the point. Would it still be no big deal to you if the grandson had destroyed something valuable to his grandmother?

I’m sure the grandmother would recognize it as an accident and get over it! You think she would demand an apology and demand the offending party sit there with her and glue china back together? Of course not. It’s a setback. Teach your child the skills to move on.

Anonymous wrote:Grandma seems psycho. I would simply discard the whole thing and start fresh. And maybe send granny home.
I am a professional artist and something like this would make me livid.
However I have learned through the years that most people have little respect for things that are handmade. The housekeepers seem to want to destroy them. I lock everything in a cabinet before they come.

Maybe you are a terrible artist if everyone wants to discard your art!

This is all great advice if you want your kid to grow up like a fragile and entitled child. Sheesh. Stuff happens. Grandma says sorry and buys him new legos and everyone gets on with their lives.

Or

Grandma gets a real scolding from mom and then apologizes and helps grandson rebuild precious precious LEGO creations, teaching him the he’s the center of the universe, that he doesn’t have the coping skills to move forward when life happens, and that grandma sucks and she owes him.

Which scenario do you prefer?

Choose wisely bc you’ll have to repeat it whenever a sibling, parent, young child, or play date accidentally breaks his legos or anything else he deems special. Hell of a way to live.

Grandma seems psycho. I would simply discard the whole thing and start fresh. And maybe send granny home.
I am a professional artist and something like this would make me livid.
However I have learned through the years that most people have little respect for things that are handmade. The housekeepers seem to want to destroy them. I lock everything in a cabinet before they come.

OP—update?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is like throwing away a favorite lovey.

I left my favorite lovey on the seat at a restaurant when I was 6 and my grandpa wouldn't let me go back inside to retrieve it (we were in the parking lot, so not far away). I cried myself to sleep for weeks missing that lovey. It still hurts a little. Nothing else from childhood effected me the way that did. It's the only thing i think of when people talk about my grandpa.

Oh, no! Why would he do that?

To teach her "a lesson" and "harden her up." Which it did, just not the lesson and hardening grandpa expected.

Unless you grow up with these sorts of parents and grandparents, you don't understand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is like throwing away a favorite lovey.

I left my favorite lovey on the seat at a restaurant when I was 6 and my grandpa wouldn't let me go back inside to retrieve it (we were in the parking lot, so not far away). I cried myself to sleep for weeks missing that lovey. It still hurts a little. Nothing else from childhood effected me the way that did. It's the only thing i think of when people talk about my grandpa.

Oh, no! Why would he do that?

See, we don't know. Maybe he was feeling sick.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:... I was 6 and my grandpa wouldn't let me go back inside to retrieve it (we were in the parking lot, so not far away). I cried myself to sleep for weeks ...

"on a mission" parents/g-parents - clock ticking, time to go, already in parking lot, already in car, time to clean-up, learn a lesson....

6 is pretty young for a tough lesson.

Anonymous wrote:OP ~ your Mom will get what's coming to her. Your son will remember this forever. You don't really need to do anything.

She didn't maliciously kill the family pet. Jeez.

Anonymous wrote:This is like throwing away a favorite lovey.

I left my favorite lovey on the seat at a restaurant when I was 6 and my grandpa wouldn't let me go back inside to retrieve it (we were in the parking lot, so not far away). I cried myself to sleep for weeks missing that lovey. It still hurts a little. Nothing else from childhood effected me the way that did. It's the only thing i think of when people talk about my grandpa.

Oh, no! Why would he do that?

Anonymous wrote:... I was 6 and my grandpa wouldn't let me go back inside to retrieve it (we were in the parking lot, so not far away). I cried myself to sleep for weeks ...

"on a mission" parents/g-parents - clock ticking, time to go, already in parking lot, already in car, time to clean-up, learn a lesson....

Anonymous wrote:I agree with other posters that she is mean and this was intentional not an "accident". It takes effort to do this. She is most likely upset or feels slighted about something. You haven't kissed her fanny enough, she feels old and unimportant or she is simply self centered and bored. She "cleaned" and broke something that she could dismiss and now will not take any responsibility. I'd ask her to leave and tell her that mean behavior toward a six year old is not allowed in your house.

If grandma wants to be a jerk. So, be it. You can tell your mom that she can decide to be a part of the problem or the solution. Her choice.

Whatever plans you had today are canceled. So, if you were planning to go to the American History museum with the grandparents- that’s on hold.

Today, you take your kid to the LEGO store and buy a new set. You tell your kid that grandma was wrong to take apart his structure and you’re going to help fix it. Then you all spend the afternoon building together. Grandpa is welcome to help. Same for grandma. But if she wants to pout, you ignore her geriatric tantrum and make it a fun day for your kid.

This is like throwing away a favorite lovey.

I left my favorite lovey on the seat at a restaurant when I was 6 and my grandpa wouldn't let me go back inside to retrieve it (we were in the parking lot, so not far away). I cried myself to sleep for weeks missing that lovey. It still hurts a little. Nothing else from childhood effected me the way that did. It's the only thing i think of when people talk about my grandpa.