Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

Have you done it? You are not helpful at all. I did it for a year and it almost broke me. I couldn't work, could not leave the house or turn my back for a minute. We have a small house, so that was another huge issue.

No judgement here. Believe me I get it. I'm currently touring nursing homes in Maryland and Florida.

I'm guessing in 3rd world locations seniors just don't live as long.

That is probably an accurate assumption.

Looked up average lifespan:

M/F
63/66 - least developed
67/71 - less developed
76/82 - more developed

So, a woman from a more developed country can expect to live a full 16 years longer than the average woman in a least developed country. Op's mom has lived nearly 30 years longer than the average woman lives in a least developed country.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

Have you done it? You are not helpful at all. I did it for a year and it almost broke me. I couldn't work, could not leave the house or turn my back for a minute. We have a small house, so that was another huge issue.

No judgement here. Believe me I get it. I'm currently touring nursing homes in Maryland and Florida.

I'm guessing in 3rd world locations seniors just don't live as long.

That is probably an accurate assumption.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

Have you done it? You are not helpful at all. I did it for a year and it almost broke me. I couldn't work, could not leave the house or turn my back for a minute. We have a small house, so that was another huge issue.

No judgement here. Believe me I get it. I'm currently touring nursing homes in Maryland and Florida.

I'm guessing in 3rd world locations seniors just don't live as long.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are bringing in hospice care per the recommendation of her GP. It is not considered end of life care (a learning point for us--I had misunderstood this about hospice) but will mean she has someone with her 24/7. Until that is in place we are putting a mattress on the floor and will take turns staying with her. The mats are ordered. They were suggested as a good idea even after the hospice aid is in place. Thank you all for your input.

Hospice is not All day and night care.

I may be wrong, but I don't know that hospice offers lift assist or help with bathroom/bathing.

An aide will come in an hour or less a few days a week to help with bathing. A nurse will come a few times a week to check vitals. If she needs a higher level of care, you need to pay for an aide or nursing home (but care will not be better).

Since Op's mom is already in AL she is presumably already getting help with bathing, right? How is calling hospice in going to help Op's mom if her mom needs overnight assistance that the AL doesn't provide? Is the solution supposed to be to get the hospital bed and a fall mat and hire a night nurse to stay with Mom overnight?

It depends on how often the AL provides the bathing and other help. The nursing home we were at only did bathing twice a week so my loved one stunk most other days. Hospice was great as they came the other days. Hospital bed only helps with falls if she's sleeping, not if she's walking or getting out of bed. She needs a higher level of care with an aide or nursing home. Hospice does not help with over night or extended care.

I agree that it does sound like she needs a higher level of care. Not sure why the physician suggested hospice as opposed to a nursing home.

Not all doctors know the fine details of what others do outside the office. They probably suggested it based off age and medicare pays for it. My sibling is a doctor and pretty clueless with this stuff and her recommendations so it becomes a huge debate as she thinks she knows it all and knows very little.

+10. Physicians generally know precious little about insurance, long term care, aging and care options. Knowing the biological process of aging is not the same as knowing the insurance and care industry and policies.

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

My father grew up this way. He hated sharing his room. It literally killed his father dealing with the stress and his mother struggled with severe depression from dealing with it. I don't recommend unless you have a mansion and lots of hired help. Actually I know of a family with the latter and they divorced before inlaws died.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

In the test of the world they don't try to prolong life no matter what. They stop aggressively treating elderly people when their quality of life declines. Only in the US do doctors and hospitals insist on doing every treatment and giving every medication to prolong life instead of making elderly people comfortable. For example, in the developing world in winter or rainy season mainy elderly who are bed-ridden die of pneumonia. If they have dementia no one is rushing out to get the elderly person x-rays, the top of the line antibiotics, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

Have you done it? You are not helpful at all. I did it for a year and it almost broke me. I couldn't work, could not leave the house or turn my back for a minute. We have a small house, so that was another huge issue.

I know someone who did it for maybe 6 months and it was very hard to put it mildly. The elderly person fell once and the family member on duty could not lift the person back up. They had to wait for another family member to leave work, drive home and help get the parent back up. If the caregivers had hurt themselves in the process that would have only compounded the ordeal.

Anonymous wrote:They need a bed with side rails, not fall mats.

In some states the side rails are no longer legal in facilities.

Hospice might allow side rails in the bed. If it is Maryland I can verify that Mom's hospice hospital bed came with side rails. A lot of times the hospice rules overrule a facility's rules.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

We live in the U.S. and children are not typically not held responsible for the overnight supervision of their elderly grandparents. Maybe that happens in other countries but it is far from the norm here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

Only the developing world.

They need a bed with side rails, not fall mats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

Have you done it? You are not helpful at all. I did it for a year and it almost broke me. I couldn't work, could not leave the house or turn my back for a minute. We have a small house, so that was another huge issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was growing up, most people in our neighborhood lived in multi-generational households. Typically a grandchild shared a bedroom with the frail elderly relative.

Where did you grow up? I can say that I have never once heard of anything like this. Ever. You seriously think that children should be responsible for helping their elderly parents get up off the floor when they fall down and that children should be helping their elderly grandparents to the bathroom at night? Yikes.

Much of the world takes care of the elderly in their home by family. It is only in the western world, particularly in the US where putting seniors in nursing homes
away from their families and younger generations is common.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would put a thin mattress on the floor next to her bed.

That sounds like a tripping hazard

Yeah the assisted living place will never allow this. It’s likely a violation of safety and fire rules

The fall mattresses are the new standards in more progressive states for senior protection.

Bedrails are illegal in my state as bed rails are considered restraints and there have been many deaths from bedrails. Restraints have serious controls in my state also.
The new standard is bed is dropped as low as possible to the floor. Gym pad (thin mattress on floor) is placed next to the floor. This is State of Florida law in nursing homes.

Florida has a lot of protective laws for seniors as we have so many seniors.

Does your mother have a hospital bed with electric up down controls? If not get her a hospital bed. EVery night have hospital bed lowered to the lowest setting.
Gym pad/fall protection goes next to the bed. You can buy these on Amazon.

Even for otherwise mobile adults who might struggle to get up from the floor or could lose their balance on a soft floor mat if they get up during the night to pee?

The ones that I've seen in use provided by the nursing home were pretty firm. They were not soft and spongy. THey might give an inch or so in a fall but won't be the
hard fall of hitting the floor. My friend's mother was supplied with one only after she had had numerous falls in the room of her nursing home and only after
the family requested that something be done. I don't think they are routinely provided unless there have been a history of falls. The bed that I saw in the nursing home
that had this in place probably had the top of the mattress at maybe 18" from the mat and the spacing may have been even less, i.e. the nursing home bed was dropped
way down to the lowest setting.