Anonymous wrote:

What’s your definition of down? Not as pretty? Not as rich? Not as “connected”? Sounds like he had that and decided to go for someone who was glad to see him.

People “affair down” by definition because anyone willing to cheat with a person they know is married is, at a minimum, morally bankrupt. And no, I have not been cheated on because my spouse and I have solid boundaries and respect each other.

I'm not that PP but I was cheated on and I promise you that you don't know if you have been cheated on or not. I would not sit so high on that horse, the fall could be painful.

OW in the DC area are dating too. The married guy is the sidepiece for them. Adventure, dinner, and fun. No one is sitting at home waiting for your husband, that's you.

I like having my own space. My own home and my own life. I get to involve someone else in it when I feel like it, and remain "single" when I don't.

Anonymous wrote:My ex tells his girlfriends he is still married. There is something special about a side piece, the low expectations .... the ability to see them once a month or once a week or every day if you decide. Their inability to ask for what they want because they don’t think they deserve it.

Or because they don’t want what you think they want.

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Anonymous wrote:I feel like these posts really peak around the holidays.are people just slippy about their affairs around Christmas?

OW are a mess this week. Year after year after year.

Yup. It’s when they realize they’re always someone’s second choice. Who wants to live like that?

OW aren’t the ones starting these threads. It sucks when you have a nagging feeling that your spouse might be cheating, and they all but confirm it when they go out for milk on Christmas evening and don’t come back for three hours, and when you saw some charges on the credit card bill that don’t match what’s under the tree for you.

There whole hours

Vs cuddling in bed xmas morning with his kids giggling all around.

As he watches the clock waiting to escape you for a few blissful hours.

You’re with a guy who describes getting away from his children is escaping wow that’s sad.

Who said anything about escaping the children? Previous post said “you.”

The post she responded to was about him cuddling in bed xmas morning with his kids.

Are you saying the wife is wholly absent from this bed cuddling and it’s just dad and the kids? Everyone’s happier when mom goes downstairs to make coffee?

When I did it, I did not have the bandwidth (time, mental energy, etc.) for a full-time committed relationship, but still needed/wanted regular sex, and one-time stands are not my thing. When my situation changed, I moved on to marriage.

My ex tells his girlfriends he is still married. There is something special about a side piece, the low expectations .... the ability to see them once a month or once a week or every day if you decide. Their inability to ask for what they want because they don’t think they deserve it.

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Anonymous wrote:I feel like these posts really peak around the holidays.are people just slippy about their affairs around Christmas?

OW are a mess this week. Year after year after year.

Yup. It’s when they realize they’re always someone’s second choice. Who wants to live like that?

OW aren’t the ones starting these threads. It sucks when you have a nagging feeling that your spouse might be cheating, and they all but confirm it when they go out for milk on Christmas evening and don’t come back for three hours, and when you saw some charges on the credit card bill that don’t match what’s under the tree for you.

There whole hours

Vs cuddling in bed xmas morning with his kids giggling all around.

As he watches the clock waiting to escape you for a few blissful hours.

You’re with a guy who describes getting away from his children is escaping wow that’s sad.

Who said anything about escaping the children? Previous post said “you.”

The post she responded to was about him cuddling in bed xmas morning with his kids.

NP here. So a serious question for the women AP’s: are there any traits you see in men who will cheat on their spouses vs. divorcing? I guess are there certain traits/ careers/ mindset that you find common in those men? Again, if they are unhappy in a marriage, they can divorce and so just trying to see if there’s any way to identify those men in advance.

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Anonymous wrote:I feel like these posts really peak around the holidays.are people just slippy about their affairs around Christmas?

OW are a mess this week. Year after year after year.

Yup. It’s when they realize they’re always someone’s second choice. Who wants to live like that?

OW aren’t the ones starting these threads. It sucks when you have a nagging feeling that your spouse might be cheating, and they all but confirm it when they go out for milk on Christmas evening and don’t come back for three hours, and when you saw some charges on the credit card bill that don’t match what’s under the tree for you.

There whole hours

Vs cuddling in bed xmas morning with his kids giggling all around.

As he watches the clock waiting to escape you for a few blissful hours.

You’re with a guy who describes getting away from his children is escaping wow that’s sad.

Who said anything about escaping the children? Previous post said “you.”

They are damaged and/or hypersexual.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What’s your definition of down? Not as pretty? Not as rich? Not as “connected”? Sounds like he had that and decided to go for someone who was glad to see him.

People “affair down” by definition because anyone willing to cheat with a person they know is married is, at a minimum, morally bankrupt. And no, I have not been cheated on because my spouse and I have solid boundaries and respect each other.

That you know of.

I know you are but what am I

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Anonymous wrote:Insanely hot sex with a handsome and successful man. He was kind and thoughtful and extremely eager to please. Fancy hotel rooms on business trips and authentic connections.

I have moved on from it but no regrets, no one found out and apparently I was doing the "work" his wife had no interest in. Pity her.

Interesting. My cheating spouse is not particularly handsome or successful, is not thoughtful, and is not great in bed. I think some side pieces are really just that desperate.

He’s not any of those things to YOU. Maybe he steps because, I don’t know, he’s underappreciated and can sense your contempt? Just a guess LOL.

Most men affair down so even crumbs are good to you. LOL

What’s your definition of down? Not as pretty? Not as rich? Not as “connected”? Sounds like he had that and decided to go for someone who was glad to see him.

All the above and then some. Yeah it’s called positive mirroring he hast to date someone who is really low on the totem pole to look up to him. That’s what it’s about ... feeling inadequate and having to date so far down that he feels better about himself... better compared to the AP though so not great.

Just like guys that want to be whipped they need to feel subservient sometime who knows why, they are damaged.

Anonymous wrote:

What’s your definition of down? Not as pretty? Not as rich? Not as “connected”? Sounds like he had that and decided to go for someone who was glad to see him.

People “affair down” by definition because anyone willing to cheat with a person they know is married is, at a minimum, morally bankrupt. And no, I have not been cheated on because my spouse and I have solid boundaries and respect each other.

That you know of.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like these posts really peak around the holidays.are people just slippy about their affairs around Christmas?

OW are a mess this week. Year after year after year.

Yup. It’s when they realize they’re always someone’s second choice. Who wants to live like that?

OW aren’t the ones starting these threads. It sucks when you have a nagging feeling that your spouse might be cheating, and they all but confirm it when they go out for milk on Christmas evening and don’t come back for three hours, and when you saw some charges on the credit card bill that don’t match what’s under the tree for you.

There whole hours

Vs cuddling in bed xmas morning with his kids giggling all around.

As he watches the clock waiting to escape you for a few blissful hours.

You’re with a guy who describes getting away from his children is escaping wow that’s sad.