We've done one birthday party for one DC for the 10th birthday. Kids haven't asked for them in others years and we've never pushed them.

We do a family celebration and the birthday kid picks an activity.

Anonymous wrote:Most of you need to remember that this is not about YOUR kids' birthday once a year. This is about being overwhelmed by the sheer number of birthday parties for all of your kids' friends.
My son is 8 and my daughter is 6. Right now, it seems that all we do is take our kids to birthday parties every single weekend. And that includes having to buy presents for every single kid and block out an entire morning or afternoon every weekend to go help chaperone the party. Add in your kids' sports or other activities on top of all of that. When do you ever have time for yourself, or have time to do things that you need to do? And some weekends there are multiple birthday parties to go to. Between both our kids, we've had many weekends with 3 parties to go to.
Maybe some of you love going to these parties as much as your kids do, and that's fine. But when is enough enough? At some point you need to scale things back or just do a fun family activity or weekend trip in lieu of a party.

Maybe you shouldnt have had multiple kids if your weekend priority is time to yourself?

Beyond a certain age they are dropoff anyway, you can come home, errands, gym, whatever.

You can also just decline. Of course we do weekend trips etc.

We stopped at age 2, but some people have then yearly until 12. Do whatever you like.

Ugh I hate what your neighbors are doing, OP! What a way to kill kid happiness, celebration and community. Downers.

I agree with PP that it doesn't "stop" (especially as young as 7 or 8) but moves to smaller parties - closer friends instead of the whole class.

People who don't want to do them should just opt out - say their kid can do a trip or event instead (we did this recently, went on a vacation instead of one kid's bday) - but pressuring others is awful.

Most of you need to remember that this is not about YOUR kids' birthday once a year. This is about being overwhelmed by the sheer number of birthday parties for all of your kids' friends.
My son is 8 and my daughter is 6. Right now, it seems that all we do is take our kids to birthday parties every single weekend. And that includes having to buy presents for every single kid and block out an entire morning or afternoon every weekend to go help chaperone the party. Add in your kids' sports or other activities on top of all of that. When do you ever have time for yourself, or have time to do things that you need to do? And some weekends there are multiple birthday parties to go to. Between both our kids, we've had many weekends with 3 parties to go to.
Maybe some of you love going to these parties as much as your kids do, and that's fine. But when is enough enough? At some point you need to scale things back or just do a fun family activity or weekend trip in lieu of a party.

50 or something then it picks back up at 70

My 12 year old probably went to at least 10 but probably more 12th birthday parties. She has already been to two 13th birthday parties as well. My 14 year old’s friends all get together for birthdays but it’s pretty casual.

Anonymous wrote:DD opted not to have one at 7 because she REALLY wanted a Nintendo Switch so we offered her that in lieu of a party. She was thrilled, and decided this year she doesn't want a party either. She's going to grab her 2 BFF's and we'll take them to the mall to see a movie, grab some food and maybe build a bear or American Girl or something.

That...is a birthday party basically.

Our last party was 4th only because Covid hit

We stopped having large birthday parties in Kindergarten. In 1st and 2nd, we had maybe 10 kids, and after 3rd, we had 3-5 friends over for a casual party at home (game night, movie night, painting party). Oldest is in 9th grade and I don't see this stopping any time soon.

Just don’t invite those kids. The parents don’t want parties, don’t want to throw parties, so just don’t invite so they don’t have to deal with any of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So they don't want *any* kids to have parties because they don't want *their* kids to have a party? And they don't want their kids to feel left out by not having a party they don't want to give, so they're trying to make sure no one has parties?

Yes. -OP

And how exactly are they “strong arming” others or influencing them? I really don’t get it. Other than vocally expressing their own opinion- which they are allowed to do, how can they possibly influence anyone on what they do for their own children?

OP said other families are spreading the word that birthday parties are only for little kids. That is bizarre. It is one thing to choose not to have a party for your kids but to tell your 7 year old that nobody their age should be having a party is not normal behavior for parents.

This is likely OPs interpretation. I highly doubt they are telling they are “spreading the word” to anyone other than their own kid. What kids say to each other, who cares? It’s not like they are amending the HOA or PTA bylaws to include to kid parties after age 7. Do what you want, as always

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have a party with school friends. Don’t invite your sour grapes neighbors

School friends are neighbor friends. They all play in the neighborhood, attend school together and play on sports teams together. -OP

How old are the parents that they are so exhausted over birthday parties?

We almost always had big parties in elementary school. It’s not difficult if you do it at a venue. I’ve rented out places like rolling rink, a room at a museum, anywhere we could have space alone. You pretty much just show up.

The last big one was a birthday party at age 14 at a downtown hotel. About 15 girls slept over at the hotel . The male guests left after dinner. After that birthdays were just a couple of kids going out.

My 4th grader has gone to approximately 50 thousand 10th laser tag or game truck birthday parties this year.

7 seems so little to stop parties. I would let your kid have the party he wants (or alternatively invite a few friends to take somewhere more expensive and/or sleepover in lieu of a big party).

Invite whomever you/your child want! People can decline. It’s a party invitation, not a court summons. This year my second grader went to several all class or all boy parties, but chose to have a small party of 7 boys. I sincerely hope nobody was offended, but also…. I feel like if they were, that’s their choice.