I'm sure we will soon have a thread griping about experience gifts, DCUM style. How dare Aunt Midge get Larla a gift certificate to an ice cream place when she knows we don't eat desserts. And so on.

Anonymous wrote:Mother in Law gave us $$ to buy gifts for DD since we won't see them for Christmas. I was going to use it for an experience but she wanted a photo/list of the gifts purchased with the money. Wanted it to go towards a "big" pile of stuff. Then keeps sending me links of things (mostly princess/pink stuff) that my tomboy would absolutely hate. Ugh.

I wish she'd just send a few gift cards and be done with it.

Yes, I have family that turns gifts into an endless string of attachment. You can't just receive the giftcard or toy and write a thank you. They waaaaant piiiiictures of the kid with the gift, and they keeep asking about the gift. Then they try to mainpulate...we got this gift so you need to do x, y and z. I finally had to say to one person no gifts. If you give a gift that is your choice, but we say thank you and are done. There will be no photos and endless updates on said gift.

Mother in Law gave us $$ to buy gifts for DD since we won't see them for Christmas. I was going to use it for an experience but she wanted a photo/list of the gifts purchased with the money. Wanted it to go towards a "big" pile of stuff. Then keeps sending me links of things (mostly princess/pink stuff) that my tomboy would absolutely hate. Ugh.

I wish she'd just send a few gift cards and be done with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to not receive any gifts or for you to give my kids money for their savings account if you simply HAVE to give something. Truly I prefer nothing at all, they don’t need it, but that crappy $5 1000 piece puzzle is going straight in the trash if you buy it.

+1. I won't throw it in the trash, but I'll likely keep it for a little while and then donate it unopened in a couple of months.

It's not about you. It's about your kid, who I'm sure enjoys opening up a gift on Christmas.

No, again, my kids have plenty and they know a “this is thoughtless junk but I wanted you to open something so I could feel giving” gift when they see it. Absolutely nothing at all is necessary. Really.

Why don't you teach them to think the best of the giver rather than the worst?

Anonymous wrote:Experience gifts don’t make sense in UMC circles. It’s not like the kids would be paying for their ice cream/museum/movie entry anyway. The parents would. My kids don’t care if you pay or I do - it’s free to them either way.

Yes, this is definitely true for us. Going out to movies/ice cream/museums/McDonald's are all things that we do with our kids anyway, especially around the holidays, so I would feel like it isn't much of a "gift" to give them something they would likely have done anyway. They don't pay for those things with their own money. Same with clothes and even books -- my kids know that if they ever want a book, they just have to ask and I will gladly purchase it from Amazon on the spot (to promote/encourage reading). Not that my kids don't appreciate receiving books as gifts, I just feel sort of bad about it.

Anonymous wrote:Experience gifts don’t make sense in UMC circles. It’s not like the kids would be paying for their ice cream/museum/movie entry anyway. The parents would. My kids don’t care if you pay or I do - it’s free to them either way.

This, to an extent. One year, my parents told my kids (age 9 and 11 at the time) that they would take them out to lunch as part of their present. My kids don’t love “lunch” food. Eating out for lunch is not a treat. It is a chore for when we are traveling or shopping/running errands all day.

It never even happened. My parents offered once or twice on days we had other commitments. Kids didn’t miss it.

Anonymous wrote:My sister kept pushing for experiences, like contribute to her Disney Christmas cruise or 6-horse jingle belle sleigh ride through the park. So last year I got her kids a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter and jelly, and a "gift certificate" to help out at the local shelter. My nephew told me they ended up volunteering and her really enjoyed it, but this year my sister just asked for Legos.

Exactly. Parents are making it about what they want or don't want, not about their kids.

My SIL didn't want things. So my mom bought gifts that she would keep at her house (the grandkids are over a few times per week). At the end of Christmas last year my SIL said they could use them at home, and took everything with her. You really can't win.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to not receive any gifts or for you to give my kids money for their savings account if you simply HAVE to give something. Truly I prefer nothing at all, they don’t need it, but that crappy $5 1000 piece puzzle is going straight in the trash if you buy it.

+1. I won't throw it in the trash, but I'll likely keep it for a little while and then donate it unopened in a couple of months.

It's not about you. It's about your kid, who I'm sure enjoys opening up a gift on Christmas.

My kids are 3 and 5. They cannot keep track of who gave them what or how many things they get. As long as they have 2-3 new things - Santa, parents, grandparents or an aunt, they are fine. There have been years where they get so much their presents from us sit under the tree, unopened for a week or more. It took us 2 weeks to open presents from the 3yr old’s BD because he would open one and play with it a lot for 1-2 days before asking to open another.

File this under things that totally didn’t happen

This is totally my kids (age 3 & 4).

Anonymous wrote:Seriously - the “experience” can be a gift card to an ice cream shop. My kids would love that and it’d set you back $20 for the family. It’s also fine to just pay what you were planning on and let the parents pick up the rest if it’s something they suggested - I.e. your sister Rose suggests movie tickets, to which you reply “oh, great! My budget will cover two tickets for the kids and some popcorn - but that means you’ll be stuck with the bill for the rest. Is that okay? Or should I just get some my little ponies like I originally planned.”

The “experience” doesn’t need to be sky diving lessons!

+1

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would prefer no gifts to the junk my in-laws insist on giving each year (in spite of us asking for no more toys for the kids). And it's not so easy to just give stuff away. I have to sort through everything, find all the missing pieces, load it up, and take it to the donation center. My labor isn't free. I'd rather take that time to play with my kids at a museum or park.

We just had a second baby, same sex as the first. We said firmly - no clothes for the baby. We're already bursting at the seams with baby clothes. Guess what MIL brought? And she said, "I know you said no clothes, but what else do you buy for a new baby?!" Yet they refuse to open a 529 or give us money to put into the 529s we already have. It's just selfish, really. They have fun watching kids open gifts and we're stuck dealing with the junk. [/quote]

What an ungrateful brat. [/quote]

Lol I wish my MIL would consider me ungrateful and stop buying me stuff that I explicitly ask her NOT to buy. Then she could feel morally superior and I wouldn't have to find time to get rid of the junk she buys that the kids never even look at! Win/win.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to not receive any gifts or for you to give my kids money for their savings account if you simply HAVE to give something. Truly I prefer nothing at all, they don’t need it, but that crappy $5 1000 piece puzzle is going straight in the trash if you buy it.

+1. I won't throw it in the trash, but I'll likely keep it for a little while and then donate it unopened in a couple of months.

It's not about you. It's about your kid, who I'm sure enjoys opening up a gift on Christmas.

My kids are 3 and 5. They cannot keep track of who gave them what or how many things they get. As long as they have 2-3 new things - Santa, parents, grandparents or an aunt, they are fine. There have been years where they get so much their presents from us sit under the tree, unopened for a week or more. It took us 2 weeks to open presents from the 3yr old’s BD because he would open one and play with it a lot for 1-2 days before asking to open another.

File this under things that totally didn’t happen

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift card to movies or Barnes and noble or similar. It doesn’t need to cost you more. You don’t need to pay in full for the experience.

I would be fine being in the receiving end (or having my kids on the receiving end) of something like this but there was a recent thread where people complained about movie gift cards because it would only pay for one ticket or it would pay for two but not the popcorn or whatever. Really, gift givers can't win.

I know. I read that thread too. But if they are asking specifically for experiences, then I am assuming they will be happy to make up the difference or may receive a bunch of cards to same “experience”. But I agree with you, gift givers can’t seem to win.

Neither can gift recipients. Either you suffer in silence with crap that your kid doesn’t even want or you are a vile human being for suggesting what the child would actually enjoy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift card to movies or Barnes and noble or similar. It doesn’t need to cost you more. You don’t need to pay in full for the experience.

I would be fine being in the receiving end (or having my kids on the receiving end) of something like this but there was a recent thread where people complained about movie gift cards because it would only pay for one ticket or it would pay for two but not the popcorn or whatever. Really, gift givers can't win.

I know. I read that thread too. But if they are asking specifically for experiences, then I am assuming they will be happy to make up the difference or may receive a bunch of cards to same “experience”. But I agree with you, gift givers can’t seem to win.

Great. Then let’s all just stop the madness. Give to your own kids, the end!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to not receive any gifts or for you to give my kids money for their savings account if you simply HAVE to give something. Truly I prefer nothing at all, they don’t need it, but that crappy $5 1000 piece puzzle is going straight in the trash if you buy it.

+1. I won't throw it in the trash, but I'll likely keep it for a little while and then donate it unopened in a couple of months.

It's not about you. It's about your kid, who I'm sure enjoys opening up a gift on Christmas.

My kids are 3 and 5. They cannot keep track of who gave them what or how many things they get. As long as they have 2-3 new things - Santa, parents, grandparents or an aunt, they are fine. There have been years where they get so much their presents from us sit under the tree, unopened for a week or more. It took us 2 weeks to open presents from the 3yr old’s BD because he would open one and play with it a lot for 1-2 days before asking to open another.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift card to movies or Barnes and noble or similar. It doesn’t need to cost you more. You don’t need to pay in full for the experience.

I would be fine being in the receiving end (or having my kids on the receiving end) of something like this but there was a recent thread where people complained about movie gift cards because it would only pay for one ticket or it would pay for two but not the popcorn or whatever. Really, gift givers can't win.

I know. I read that thread too. But if they are asking specifically for experiences, then I am assuming they will be happy to make up the difference or may receive a bunch of cards to same “experience”. But I agree with you, gift givers can’t seem to win.