OP, I was an inexperienced dog owner who, unknowingly, adopted a high needs dog. Though I had some experience with applied behaviorism in humans, I had not worked much with animals before. I had no idea what the training commitment for a dog looked like, what the common errors were, and the risks of messing up training. I missed early warning signs that my rescue was becoming aggressive (a potential issue with a smart, strong breed like German Shepherd). I inadvertently reinforced behavior behavior I did not want to encourage, like jumping on people coming through the door and guarding resources. These behaviors can become a nuisance and, if a dog shows any aggression, can be dangerous. With small, docile, less intelligent dogs, it’s easier to undo the mistakes that first-time owners will inevitably make. The larger and brighter the dog, the more dangerous mis-training, poor supervision, and dog boredom become. We all start out with the best intentions, but every first-time dog owner will make mistakes.

For these reasons, I also recommend against fist-time dog owners with children adopting from shelters. If you don’t know the behavioral warning signs to look for, it can be really hard to find a good fit. It’s also not uncommon for dogs to be stressed by having boarded at the shelter, which changes their behavior. Almost all of them have some stress-related issue that, while fixable is a challenge —separation anxiety, leash reactivity, house soiling. You won’t know the true dog until you’ve had it home for a few days. It can be really hard on children if you have to return a dog that’s not a good fit.

I volunteered with a local GSD rescue for about a decade, and we absolutely have placed GSDs with families, even as their first dog. One of my favorite placements was in a VERY active (read chaotic) household with two kids, cats, birds, rodents, ... and a partridge in a pear tree. However, the dogs have to be VERY carefully screened for their compatibility with the situation, because miscalculations can end badly.

IMO, go with a good rescue where the dogs are fostered. You are likely to get a fair amount of information on the dog, and how likely it is to integrate into the household. You will also get support and handholding for things that go bump (and they most certainly will). Prioritize temperament over looks or breeds. You want a dog that is rock solid with everything under the sun, and you may not find it in the breed that you are in love with (on paper). My last foster went to a lovely family with kids, and is absolutely thriving.

American Eskimo is basically a German Spitz with similar treats to German Shepard minus the size,
minus the force and few other undesirable things. Great with cats, great with kids, energetic and happy
dog that is a choice of many local families. You see them all the time in the dog parks and there is a
reason for it. They are very good family dogs and kids just adore them. Do some research and
check youtube. They are bit smaller then Golden Lab and Yellow Lab, smarter and more protective
of the family and kids, more alert. They are work dogs unlike retrievers above who well..mostly.. retrive.

OP, two things to consider, whatever you get:

Don't get a dog because your kids got one (your reference to "three years of begging" makes me wonder whose idea this is -- be aware that the dog will be the adults' responsibility, even if the kids help out as much as they can)

Think about getting an adult dog rather than a puppy. If it's your first time, getting an animal that is already housebroken and knows basic obedience commands makes life much simpler. Adding a dog to a household with three little kids is going to upend your life, and the constant vigilance a puppy requires is exhausting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, I'm not in a competition with anyone. It's a forum where people can 'voice' their opinions. So I 'voiced' mine.

Well, the sheer number of poodles and poodle mixes would suggest that many people do like having those breeds of dog. Dogs are dogs. There are good and bad in every breed. There is no one that’s the best or the worst.

Amen to that.

Anonymous wrote:Go to the pound and pick the dog who seems the most relaxed and doesn't appear fearful or aggressive (and that the people say is the most relaxed). For a family home dog, you really just want a low energy, not terribly smart, very sweet angel. There are lots of them! They come in many shapes and sizes and breed backgrounds.

I would get a German Shepherd in a second if I lived on a farm. They're amazing dogs, but to make it work for a family home you have to be really committed to making it work for them.

I agree with this, but also want to point out that smart doesn’t mean dominant. So, a smart submissive dog would also be a good fit.

Anonymous wrote:Nope, I'm not in a competition with anyone. It's a forum where people can 'voice' their opinions. So I 'voiced' mine.

Well, the sheer number of poodles and poodle mixes would suggest that many people do like having those breeds of dog. Dogs are dogs. There are good and bad in every breed. There is no one that’s the best or the worst.

Go to the pound and pick the dog who seems the most relaxed and doesn't appear fearful or aggressive (and that the people say is the most relaxed). For a family home dog, you really just want a low energy, not terribly smart, very sweet angel. There are lots of them! They come in many shapes and sizes and breed backgrounds.

I would get a German Shepherd in a second if I lived on a farm. They're amazing dogs, but to make it work for a family home you have to be really committed to making it work for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like poodle mixes

Really?

I don't and don't really know anyone who does.

NP here. I don't like them either and if someone gave one to me as a present I'd give it away or sell it as soon as possible.

I don’t understand a response like this. Are you in some competition to better a stranger in your dislike of a breed of dog? Why does anyone need to know how you feel about it? Do you need to give some extreme example by which a person inexplicably gifts you a dog, which is not even a scenario that commonly happens? The OP asked a question and it was answered.

Nope, I'm not in a competition with anyone. It's a forum where people can 'voice' their opinions. So I 'voiced' mine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like poodle mixes

Really?

I don't and don't really know anyone who does.

NP here. I don't like them either and if someone gave one to me as a present I'd give it away or sell it as soon as possible.

I don’t understand a response like this. Are you in some competition to better a stranger in your dislike of a breed of dog? Why does anyone need to know how you feel about it? Do you need to give some extreme example by which a person inexplicably gifts you a dog, which is not even a scenario that commonly happens? The OP asked a question and it was answered.

A dog will be accepting of cats if the dog was exposed to cats as a puppy. A dog that has no socialization with cats as a young pup is not going to adapt as easily, if at all.

You either adopt a puppy and socialize the pup with your cat yourself or you get a rescue who does fine with cats.

It's a socialization issue, not a breed issue.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all of these thoughtful responses, which I will certainly share with my husband. Does anyone have any other suggestions for a good breed to consider? In researching dogs that will be good for our cat, I also came across an American Eskimo. I really do not want to traumatize our sweet cat, but we have held off on getting a dog for three years of begging, and I really think the kids are ready.

Get a beagle from BREW Beagle Rescue. Great with kids. Mine was scared of and then ignored by cat. Most of the BREW dogs live in foster homes, so you can find out if they've been exposed to cats yet.