Anonymous wrote:Do your kids get sick often? Mine both have asthma which is why aftercare doesn't help us, and so we have to go with the f/t nanny + school.

I have asthma but I don't see the connection to asthma and after care. Your kids are already in school with kids who are sick all day. An extra hour or two is not likely to make much of difference. If they have activities restrictions during the school day, you can tell the folks at after care and they should be able to make sure that the kids don't do what they are not suppose to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not trying to be sarcastic or judged... just in awe “ looking from the other side of the fence” and wondering how on Earth you do:
Private school for two kids
Full time nanny
Flexible 9-5, work from home jobs

I earnestly want to know so I can consider how to do whatever you are doing and consider career change for husband and me!

Not family money as PP said. My husband and I both have multiple advanced degrees in the fields in which we work, we both worked our asses off before we had kids and were able to rise to the top of our professions. Then he started his own company and I got to dictate what I wanted to do with my job. So we're lucky enough to be very well paid but also have flexible jobs. My in-laws are not remotely rich (my husband has paid for everything since his bike at age 12). My parents are wealthy and paid for my college but not either of my graduate degrees and they don't give us money. Honestly, we're very lucky. I don't think either of us necessarily thought this is where we'd end up, but we did. I know a ton of people who have worked their asses off their whole lives and haven't been as fortunate. So really we're just lucky.

OP, thanks for the candid answer. It is almost like you need mentors: coaches to guide you through life and parenting choices but people seldom talk about things like this- at least I. My age bracket. As I start planning for the future it is helpful to hear from others and find ways to sprinkle with luck my hard work-Working to pursue a Masters degree currently. May I ask what are the fields you and your husband are in? I feel every few years there are lots of which jobs have demand and which are dead ends. Sorry if I am prying too much and thank you again!

I'm a lawyer and my husband is an engineer who works in the defense industry. I'm in a relatively specialized field and went to work for the government straight out of law school even though I made way less than my friends in private practice but after ten years there I was in high demand in the private sector and got to write my own ticket. My husband designed a highly specialized piece of detection equipment that is used on all Navy ships. Again, very lucky.

So, OP, you are a lawyer in the private sector who works 9-5 and is able to telework pretty much whenever you want? Sorry, I call BS on this. The only lawyers with that type of flexibility and hours I know of are in the government.

Ok, I don't know why you think I'd make this up? The teleworking is because I have clients all over the place so I never have meetings in my office. If I do have meetings, which aren't often because with technology these days it's not usually worth the cost of flying people around, then I go to my clients or to the agency's offices. So from my clients' perspectives they don't care if I'm sitting at a desk in my office or my home office. You don't have to believe me, it doesn't hurt my feelings.

Anonymous wrote:Do your kids get sick often? Mine both have asthma which is why aftercare doesn't help us, and so we have to go with the f/t nanny + school.

I don't want to jinx things but not really. They don't have asthma, thankfully (my best friends' kids do so I know how hard that is). They do get the occasional bug but are generally pretty healthy.

Anonymous wrote:I am laughing at the question, which is the most DCUM post possibly ever, of whether there are any two household working parents ("anyone...") that don't also have a FULL TIME NANNY. OP, welcome to the real world. This is 99% of two parent working families.

Actually, that wasn't my question. If you had bothered to actually read, I was wondering if anyone has NO CHILDCARE. As in, no aftercare, no before care, no sitters, no nothing. Not who doesn't have a full time nanny.

Anonymous wrote:We have two working parents and no childcare outside of school hours. My kids are a little older than yours, but still in elementary school.
We make it work- but I am in a very different income bracket than you appear to be.
We had a series of part time people who we paid pretty well- but the quality was extremely uneven. The best one left fairly quickly. The weaker ones have quit or been fired. I felt like I was spending an inordinate amount of time hiring and managing part time help- so DH and I rearranged our work schedules to cover the child care-- I start working at 6am, and am home at 4 to get kids off the bus and take them to after school activities. DH does morning.
Even our better nannies were bad at household tasks, so I don't miss not having that assistance- but we do outsource a lot of stuff- groceries are delivered, house cleaners come once a week, yard work is outsourced, etc.
We use camps for teacher workdays summer etc- which the kids love.
Are you thinking that you would be working while your kids were home in the afternoon? If so- I wouldn't do that to them- i have to do it occasionally and it is just frustrating. The only way to really keep kids from bothering me is to set them up with screens. My kids play independently- but the level of interruption that you can tolerate when you are say making dinner, or doing laundry as compared to writing a brief? no comparison.
If I had the financial situation that you have- I would probably try and hire a full time household manager, who had a small part of her duties as child care/ driving kids.

I had the 6 am start when I worked at the government and I loved that it made my commute faster (as did leaving earlier in the afternoon) but I hated never seeing my kids in the mornings. However, that was when they were younger and their bedtimes were earlier, and now that I do mornings I feel like I may have romanticized them a bit! I am very worried about flaky part-time help, and the idea of having to find people over and over again is daunting.

I would not work in the afternoons if the girls were home, which would mean I'd have to start earlier those days. Other days they'd stay at school for dance or whatever and wouldn't get home until before dinner. I know I cannot accomplish anything work-related when they're there (sick days are an exception), so I would not plan to do so. They are good at helping with dinner and other stuff around the house. They also love playing outside (they would ride their bikes all day if we let them), but of course you can't plan for the weather. I know if I gave them screens they'd leave me alone completely but that would be a last resort and only if needed. I will say that now that they're older, having less of a nanny and more of a house manager makes sense. Our nanny has somewhat transitioned into that role now that they're in school but it would make more sense to look in that direction. It may mean we wouldn't keep our maid, since presumably the house manager could do cleaning while the kids are at school. Our nanny does some stuff now, but mostly neatening as opposed to cleaning (for example, she's never scrubbed one of our toilets).

Although- if you are used to having 12 hours of childcare a day, I think it would be to big of a shock to go to none. I'm one of the pp who doesn't have childcare outside of school- but we trickled down our childcare, and never had 12 hours of coverage daily (we had been at 10 before kids were in school.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not trying to be sarcastic or judged... just in awe “ looking from the other side of the fence” and wondering how on Earth you do:
Private school for two kids
Full time nanny
Flexible 9-5, work from home jobs

I earnestly want to know so I can consider how to do whatever you are doing and consider career change for husband and me!

Not family money as PP said. My husband and I both have multiple advanced degrees in the fields in which we work, we both worked our asses off before we had kids and were able to rise to the top of our professions. Then he started his own company and I got to dictate what I wanted to do with my job. So we're lucky enough to be very well paid but also have flexible jobs. My in-laws are not remotely rich (my husband has paid for everything since his bike at age 12). My parents are wealthy and paid for my college but not either of my graduate degrees and they don't give us money. Honestly, we're very lucky. I don't think either of us necessarily thought this is where we'd end up, but we did. I know a ton of people who have worked their asses off their whole lives and haven't been as fortunate. So really we're just lucky.

OP, thanks for the candid answer. It is almost like you need mentors: coaches to guide you through life and parenting choices but people seldom talk about things like this- at least I. My age bracket. As I start planning for the future it is helpful to hear from others and find ways to sprinkle with luck my hard work-Working to pursue a Masters degree currently. May I ask what are the fields you and your husband are in? I feel every few years there are lots of which jobs have demand and which are dead ends. Sorry if I am prying too much and thank you again!

I'm a lawyer and my husband is an engineer who works in the defense industry. I'm in a relatively specialized field and went to work for the government straight out of law school even though I made way less than my friends in private practice but after ten years there I was in high demand in the private sector and got to write my own ticket. My husband designed a highly specialized piece of detection equipment that is used on all Navy ships. Again, very lucky.

So, OP, you are a lawyer in the private sector who works 9-5 and is able to telework pretty much whenever you want? Sorry, I call BS on this. The only lawyers with that type of flexibility and hours I know of are in the government.

$30 an hour is fantastic pay- well above market rate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You answered your question in your post.

You have flexible jobs.
Kids can do activities after school sometimes.
Kids can entertain themselves while you work from home after school.
Other things you listed.

What is the issue?

She has a FT nanny now. She has no idea how much the nanny’s doing. Kids will be needy if “entertaining themselves” after school almost every day.
It’s weird that she doesn’t just get a normal amount of care, such as a sitter. Or aftercare.

Actually, I do know exactly how much she's doing, which is why I'm trying to be realistic about not hiring someone to take her place. I'm not expecting my kids to entertain themselves after school every day. A lot of people have suggested after care, so it's good to know that kids seem to really like that. It's not an option we've ever used before so I don't know much about it. I never said I wouldn't use that option. Also, sorry you think it's "weird" that I wouldn't get a sitter, but part-time sitters are incredibly hard to find, at least ones that are really reliable. And payment is not an issue. We pay our current nanny $30/hour ($45/hour for overtime) so I'm not cheap.

Wow $30/hr for multichild care cooking, cleaning and errands? TBH that sounds like a good deal for you, and kind of a bad deal for the nanny

My kids are in school from 8-3 most days but she's still paid full-time, even on the days when she's not working. M, W, and F she'll run occasional errands but is mostly off while they're at school. T and Th is when she does groceries and other stuff. She's paid for 12 hours a day so she makes overtime. It's actually a very good deal for her.

Do your kids get sick often? Mine both have asthma which is why aftercare doesn't help us, and so we have to go with the f/t nanny + school.

I am laughing at the question, which is the most DCUM post possibly ever, of whether there are any two household working parents ("anyone...") that don't also have a FULL TIME NANNY. OP, welcome to the real world. This is 99% of two parent working families.

My schedule is very flexible. I go in early and my spouse does the morning routine (breakfast, getting them ready, takes them to school). I leave work at 3 and have a short commute to their school (15 minutes) to pick them up in the afternoon. It works for us.

We have two working parents and no childcare outside of school hours. My kids are a little older than yours, but still in elementary school.
We make it work- but I am in a very different income bracket than you appear to be.
We had a series of part time people who we paid pretty well- but the quality was extremely uneven. The best one left fairly quickly. The weaker ones have quit or been fired. I felt like I was spending an inordinate amount of time hiring and managing part time help- so DH and I rearranged our work schedules to cover the child care-- I start working at 6am, and am home at 4 to get kids off the bus and take them to after school activities. DH does morning.
Even our better nannies were bad at household tasks, so I don't miss not having that assistance- but we do outsource a lot of stuff- groceries are delivered, house cleaners come once a week, yard work is outsourced, etc.
We use camps for teacher workdays summer etc- which the kids love.
Are you thinking that you would be working while your kids were home in the afternoon? If so- I wouldn't do that to them- i have to do it occasionally and it is just frustrating. The only way to really keep kids from bothering me is to set them up with screens. My kids play independently- but the level of interruption that you can tolerate when you are say making dinner, or doing laundry as compared to writing a brief? no comparison.
If I had the financial situation that you have- I would probably try and hire a full time household manager, who had a small part of her duties as child care/ driving kids.

Two working parents here but I have a super flexible schedule. I typically get up early a few days a week to do calls overseas, and often will do work while the kids do homework. It sets a good example for me and the kids.

DH has a less flexible job so he's on morning duty and then we walk to school with the dog. I do pickup and will trade playdates with SAHM/PT friends at school if I have conflicts. I always try to give more than I get as a life rule, but it has the added benefit of always having someone willing to watch/pickup the kids if I'm in a jam. I've also been able to meet lots of parents at pickup and we've coordinated activities/carpools.

This is not what you asked OP but want to also add that I know people on this board are horrified by young babysitters but I have found that 13 years old is the sweet spot. They are responsible, the kids love them, and they don't have high school demands/activities yet. Takes some effort and networking to find the right person but we've loved our young-ish babysitters. I'm biased because I did afterschool care when I was in middle and high school and am close with those families to this day. It was great for me - A fun job that I took seriously and really enjoyed that also paid great money. It was great for the families - Someone who is flexible, has lots of energy, and lives down the street/has the same snow days/days off, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You answered your question in your post.

You have flexible jobs.
Kids can do activities after school sometimes.
Kids can entertain themselves while you work from home after school.
Other things you listed.

What is the issue?

She has a FT nanny now. She has no idea how much the nanny’s doing. Kids will be needy if “entertaining themselves” after school almost every day.
It’s weird that she doesn’t just get a normal amount of care, such as a sitter. Or aftercare.

Actually, I do know exactly how much she's doing, which is why I'm trying to be realistic about not hiring someone to take her place. I'm not expecting my kids to entertain themselves after school every day. A lot of people have suggested after care, so it's good to know that kids seem to really like that. It's not an option we've ever used before so I don't know much about it. I never said I wouldn't use that option. Also, sorry you think it's "weird" that I wouldn't get a sitter, but part-time sitters are incredibly hard to find, at least ones that are really reliable. And payment is not an issue. We pay our current nanny $30/hour ($45/hour for overtime) so I'm not cheap.

Two parents working with flexible schedules and no after care here. I pick my son up from school and he comes home and does homework, plays, and chills out. I don't have to work when he is home so that is not an issue for us but he is old enough that he can play by himself if he needs to. Kids need to learn how to entertain themselves. They should not need a Nanny/Babysitter/Parent to entertain them after school.

I leave work at 2:30, have about 30 minutes to myself before I get my son. If the weather is good, we stop at the park with some of his friends. He plays for 30 minutes when we get home an does homework, if he ha any, when I make dinner. Eat, play, shower, brush teeth, read, bed. Two nights a week he has an activity, Scouts or a sport. Three days a week he has an after school program that he does and I don't have to get him until 4:30. He chooses those programs and really enjoys them. There are actually activities Monday - Friday that we could enroll him in so we would be picking him up at 4:30 every day.

This works for us because

1) My job is very flexible and lets me come in at whatever time I want. The building is half full when I get here at 6:30 because a good number of people are in at 5 or 5:30 to beat traffic.
2) My job does not allow me to work more then 40 hours or from home. The contract is very clear on both points. I am expected to get my work done at the office in 40 hours. If something does come up and I need to work more hours, I have to get permission and I get over time pay. The only time this has happened, for me, has been when I have traveled, which is about once or twice a year.
3) My commute is 15 minutes with traffic. We live close to where I work.

I am well aware that not everyone has the above situation but I know other families who work a similar schedule and make it work.

OP: I know the Y in our area allows you to buy 10 days of aftercare that can be used in case of an emergency. They ask that you give them 24 hours advanced notice so they have your child on the bus roster but I know that the Y bus goes to our school to pick up kids. I suspect that we could call at 1 or 2 and get DS on the list if we needed to. We bought the days when DS was in K and never used them so we have not bought them since then. Those days don't cover sick days or snow days so they would cover any day that one of us could not pick him up on time.