Anonymous
11/30/2019 10:13
Subject: Re:What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sorry but what is the benefit for the sexually active woman?
Men don’t get better with age...at least not in sex appeal. The only people who think this have to be men. Most men past 50 have poorly functioning equipment and dad bods....most lose their magic in that department by their mid 40s. Single and married women know this and discuss it all the time with one another.
Gorgeous women don’t want old and rich when they can be rich without a man and have sex with someone younger themselves.
OP- at some point, the old rich guy that doesn’t want to settle is going to have to because the odds are not in his favor with the passing of time. Few attractive women in today’s society will want an old bachelor who has lost his sex appeal.
I.am married with no do in this fight but you have to be kidding me with this post. My friends in their later 40s early 50s who are single have endless options for dating women. Mind you, they are attractive and professionally successful but women flock to them.
This isn't to say that an attractive woman can't find a sex partner if she just wants casual sex. That part is and always will be easy
I recently married for the second time. I’m 50 and my husband is 60. He was single for 11 years before I came along. Yes, he had lots of options for dating and didn’t think that he would marry again. Then I came along. I was single for 2 years. Neither of us needed to marry, but we fell in love so there you go.
Anonymous
11/30/2019 09:42
Subject: What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
Anonymous wrote:Lonely_Sojourner wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When I think about the womanizing men sometimes I wonder why they need to “settle down”.
Their market value keeps increasing. If they are handsome and make good money, they can sleep with so many women and never have to endure a dead bedroom.
They can get companionship and validation through various friends with benefits type arrangements.
Why even put up with marriage?
That lifestyle eventually gets very, very empty.
+1
53 y/o widowed male with two healthy 401ks, high paying job, great house, in shape w/ no medical issues and I can certainly attest to the lonely lifestyle. I'd kill to be in a solid relationship again...
L_S
But you've got no reason to remarry.
Unless you want that 35 year old Asian chick from the other thread, or something. She wants a tall white guy!
He wants to. He enjoyed it. Marriage is worth doing, for him. If you can’t as a woman understand why men might feel that way, just accept it and move on.
Anonymous
11/30/2019 09:32
Subject: What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
Anonymous wrote:Lonely_Sojourner wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When I think about the womanizing men sometimes I wonder why they need to “settle down”.
Their market value keeps increasing. If they are handsome and make good money, they can sleep with so many women and never have to endure a dead bedroom.
They can get companionship and validation through various friends with benefits type arrangements.
Why even put up with marriage?
That lifestyle eventually gets very, very empty.
+1
53 y/o widowed male with two healthy 401ks, high paying job, great house, in shape w/ no medical issues and I can certainly attest to the lonely lifestyle. I'd kill to be in a solid relationship again...
L_S
But you've got no reason to remarry.
Unless you want that 35 year old Asian chick from the other thread, or something. She wants a tall white guy!
How do you know this guy is tall or white?
Anonymous
11/30/2019 09:30
Subject: What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
Lonely_Sojourner wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When I think about the womanizing men sometimes I wonder why they need to “settle down”.
Their market value keeps increasing. If they are handsome and make good money, they can sleep with so many women and never have to endure a dead bedroom.
They can get companionship and validation through various friends with benefits type arrangements.
Why even put up with marriage?
That lifestyle eventually gets very, very empty.
+1
53 y/o widowed male with two healthy 401ks, high paying job, great house, in shape w/ no medical issues and I can certainly attest to the lonely lifestyle. I'd kill to be in a solid relationship again...
L_S
But you've got no reason to remarry.
Unless you want that 35 year old Asian chick from the other thread, or something. She wants a tall white guy!
Anonymous
11/30/2019 09:28
Subject: Re:What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I dunno, I suppose most men end up wanting one since most men end up in one (marriage). If you don’t want a LTR or marriage I don’t think you need to have one and no one is going to make you. What’s the debate?
+1. Marry if you want to and don't if you don't.
The thing is that men remarry at a higher rate after a divorce than women. [Because older men remain attractive, but older women not so much] So the question is what women get out of marriage. [They overwhelmingly want it, so it must do something for them, unless you think they're so stupid they act against their own interests] Men at least live longer if they are married than if they're not [This is bullshit - correlation not causation] and get to have someone do more of the daily work around the house. [This is also bullshit, and in any event, if the woman is dumb enough to do more of the work around the house, that's on them] For working women, what is it in f or them to remarry? [They'll probably outlive the guy, so they'll get widow's benefits on his social security and pension plan, so there's that.]
Lonely_Sojourner
11/30/2019 09:28
Subject: What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When I think about the womanizing men sometimes I wonder why they need to “settle down”.
Their market value keeps increasing. If they are handsome and make good money, they can sleep with so many women and never have to endure a dead bedroom.
They can get companionship and validation through various friends with benefits type arrangements.
Why even put up with marriage?
That lifestyle eventually gets very, very empty.
+1
53 y/o widowed male with two healthy 401ks, high paying job, great house, in shape w/ no medical issues and I can certainly attest to the lonely lifestyle. I'd kill to be in a solid relationship again...
L_S
Anonymous
11/30/2019 08:39
Subject: Re:What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I dunno, I suppose most men end up wanting one since most men end up in one (marriage). If you don’t want a LTR or marriage I don’t think you need to have one and no one is going to make you. What’s the debate?
+1. Marry if you want to and don't if you don't.
The thing is that men remarry at a higher rate after a divorce than women. So the question is what women get out of marriage. Men at least live longer if they are married than if they're not and get to have someone do more of the daily work around the house. For working women, what is it in f or them to remarry??
Nothing. There is nothing in it.
Were DH to die tomorrow,I would never remarry.
Anonymous
11/30/2019 07:59
Subject: Re:What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
Except for that man in the wheelchair may have desperately wanted to marry. But he made the best life he could on his own.
Anonymous
11/30/2019 07:57
Subject: What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
X 100
Anonymous
11/30/2019 07:49
Subject: What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When I think about the womanizing men sometimes I wonder why they need to “settle down”.
Their market value keeps increasing. If they are handsome and make good money, they can sleep with so many women and never have to endure a dead bedroom.
They can get companionship and validation through various friends with benefits type arrangements.
Why even put up with marriage?
That lifestyle eventually gets very, very empty.
Does it though. For some people it may, others not so. I knew a man who was disabled and lived in a wheelchair. Never married and never had kids. He lived with his mother until she died and then lived alone for many years until he died. He had hobbies and he went up to the club every day, there were a ton of men who would go and eat together and they had a betting club together. When he died he had so many people there to mourn him. He was out every day socialising.
I agree with the other poster who said it's not about dying alone, because he was alone when he died, as the majority of people are. It's about between now and then and he had a very full life surrounded by a ton of people who use to help him and support him, pretty much like family though none were blood related. People that wept at his loss, real tears.
Life is what you make it and as long as you do what makes you happy you'll be ok in the end. So if a man doesn't want to marry, so be it. A marriage is only good if it is happy. If the marriage isn't happy then it makes your life hell. There is such a thing as being lonely in marriage, isn't that empty as well.
This is the best response in the thread so far.
Anonymous
11/30/2019 07:41
Subject: Re:What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
In our case, my DH was the one who pushed for marriage. A brilliant guy, and I find him very handsome, but the truth is he went for years without sex when he was between girlfriends. He didn't have much money and the competition in a place like D.C. is brutal.
We have been married 35 years now. He got a like minded companion with great sex for decades (we have slowed down now between ED and menopause), children he adores, and right now health insurance and a roof over his head. He was laid off three years ago.
We have been married 35 years now. He got a like minded companion with great sex for decades (we have slowed down now between ED and menopause), children he adores, and right now health insurance and a roof over his head. He was laid off three years ago.
Anonymous
11/30/2019 07:24
Subject: What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There isn’t one. Nor is there a benefit for a woman like myself, an introvert who outearns her husband. If he left tomorrow, well... I and the kids would be really, really sad. But I’d be fine. My nice comfortable life would continue to be nice, stable and comfortable.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and i enjoy our life together. But... benefit? I am conventionally attractive, I’m financially independent, and I could have had kids with anyone or on my own.
+1
Marriage is an antiquated institution with very high risk and low incentive/advantage if you’re independent, have healthy self love, and are self sufficient. The greatest value of marriage is that it builds families in a safe cocoon of life two people agree to. You don’t need legal risk to do that.
Other value is religious, if you believe.
+1. (Man). I agree with all that you said. We are fortunate enough to live in a circumstance where it’s possible to live ‘comfortably’. A significant (theoretical) benefit for marriage is that it’s like an insurance policy for you as a partner & kids. You may be always healthy and ‘comfortable’
Anonymous
11/30/2019 07:08
Subject: Re:What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
Anonymous wrote:I dunno, I suppose most men end up wanting one since most men end up in one (marriage). If you don’t want a LTR or marriage I don’t think you need to have one and no one is going to make you. What’s the debate?
+1. Marry if you want to and don't if you don't.
The thing is that men remarry at a higher rate after a divorce than women. So the question is what women get out of marriage. Men at least live longer if they are married than if they're not and get to have someone do more of the daily work around the house. For working women, what is it in f or them to remarry?
Anonymous
11/30/2019 06:53
Subject: Re:What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
I dunno, I suppose most men end up wanting one since most men end up in one (marriage). If you don’t want a LTR or marriage I don’t think you need to have one and no one is going to make you. What’s the debate?
Anonymous
11/30/2019 06:46
Subject: What’s the benefit of a long term relationship for men?
Anonymous wrote:When I think about the womanizing men sometimes I wonder why they need to “settle down”.
Their market value keeps increasing. If they are handsome and make good money, they can sleep with so many women and never have to endure a dead bedroom.
They can get companionship and validation through various friends with benefits type arrangements.
Why even put up with marriage?
PUT UP? You make it sound like a punishment. I am married 21 years. Long enough to have had some life issues. Would my FWB stood by me during cancer treatment? Would the ONS stayed at the hospital all night when I was in the ICU?
Would I have the joy and fulfillment of watching my daughter excel? Watching her grow into her own person, preparing for college. And see the joy that comes with each college acceptance (that is just where we are today).
If I was single, I might be having more sex (I could not be having less), but there is more to life than sex.